Please let me start by telling you that I am not crazy, and I actually have experienced the things that you will read here. I am a scientist and when I think about this stuff I feel how science absolutely fails in explaining mysticism. I need help to make sense of this condition and I had been searching for info everywhere. If you know anything that can clarify these experiences for me, please share.
Last few weeks I have been experiencing a lot of astral projection (AP) in my sleep. When I was a kid (now I'm 38) I was having this experience quite frequently, but as I grew up it started to fade. Until last year when I started to practice at least one hour of daily meditation and I gradually felt I'm again experiencing AP perhaps once a month. But for the last couple of weeks, I'm having AP almost every single night and often for really prolonged periods of time (like for two full hours). It's an amazingly beautiful experience and I feel sooooo liberated during and after the experience. But there are also other things that are happening during the AP that concerns me and I want to make sure that the things that I'm experiencing are not harmful.
Last week, I had two experiences of being unconditionally loved by a Loving Presence in my bedroom who had occupied the entire room. It was vast, warm, and infinitly loving. I felt so loved (almost like never before) and I was in absolute awe. The type of love that I was experiencing was similar to a physical love experience that I had when my ex-fiance proposed me at Disney Land a couple of years ago.
In addition to this Loving Presence, though, there are bothering things too. The second time when the Loving Presence was visiting me, I tried to reach to it (I felt an urge for merging with that) but there was an incredibly loud sound in my head that didn't let me and I started screaming cause the noise was so loud that it was killing me, it was like a big turbine working inside my head and was making me deaf. It was quite painful. And then I woke up.
Also, in another night, during an astral projection, I felt there is a creepy human being somewhere in this universe that is calling me to himself. Strangely, he was calling me Katherine which is not my name (my name is Maria) but I knew that he's talking to me. It was quite uncomfortable for me because I didn't like him and he was kind of manipulating me to reach into my mind. I tried so hard to focus to prevent him from reaching into my mind -it was like Darth Vadar trying to take info from Princess Leia's head, LOL. But eventually, he managed to do this. He was stronger than me and I could feel him penetrating my mind. As he was doing this he was telling me that we love each other and belong to each other (which was freaking me out to feel that I belong to someone other than myself, it was a terrible feeling).
Guys I really need help to understand these events. The Loving Presence in my bedroom felt very holy and spiritual. But the creepy person was not holy, I didn't have good feelings toward him. If you can understand this please help. Tell me what's going on in here.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this.