Yes, I know...it's now forbidden to write experiences about this kind of stuff; thus, if this post gets deleted, I'll understand. The thing is, I seriously need to open up about this because talking about it to somebody I know would mean being laughed at, being called "crazy" and the list goes on.
After these few lines, I conclude by saying that if there's something wrong about this post I'll immediately delete it; if you'll accept it (because I feel this experience is real and nobody I know in real life would understand me), then I'll be grateful.
I'll begin. When I was 7 or 8 I've always loved Naruto. I've always loved seeing ninjas fighting with their superpowers, them being able to control elements. I've always admired them for that and, most of all, I wanted to be like them. That's why I spent my afternoons reading fanfics (to make myself feel like I'm a part of their world too) and, most importantly, taking quizzes to discover what chakra do I own. Since I'm a scorpio I've always expected to own the water chakra but, for some strange reason, I felt like it was wrong. I didn't even know why; I just knew that. On the other hand, I've always had a very weird connection to the wind; so, during one summer afternoon, I got on my house's balcony and said: "what if it's actually because I can control it?".
I never took it too seriously, mainly because I felt like I only did that for Naruto and, plus, I've always denied the existence of any kind of magic. My mom always talked to me about her third eye and the fact that she sometimes talked with ghosts until she turned 20; I thought they were just foolish stories she'd tell me because she was too bored. But damn, I was wrong and I've realized it only now. Putting this aside; I went on my balcony, closed my eyes, and whispered "breeze". There was no sign of wind before; right after I said it, a fresh breeze of wind arrived. I was shocked and, for some reason, it suddenly stopped; I laughed at that, and kept doing it: it always worked. I was able to summon wind and to make breezes that I created stop, similar to when you turn on and off a switch. As I said before, I never took it seriously.
As I grew up, I started to forget about these times. A lot of sad stuff has happened to me lately and, I admit it: all of these negative experiences have contributed to me changing my mentality and attitude: I've become more hotheaded and, whenever I would feel minimally nervous, I'd always have one of those breakdowns you would never want to see. I felt like it was wrong, so I've learned to keep my anger inside me whenever that would happen. I'm not totally sure about this, but I'm pretty sure these "traumas" changed my power's nature.
I'm turning sixteen this year and, for some reason, I dreamt about me being able to fly and to make stuff around me levitate on purpose. When I woke up, I remembered about the times when I used to think I could control wind: who could even believe stuff like that? Of course it wasn't real! Quarantine happened in Italy on March, and I've had a lot of free afternoons I didn't want to spend entirely on Netflix and homework. So, I opened the window and let some wind come in: I wanted to play that game again. I looked outside, closed my eyes and whispered: "breeze". A subtle breeze of wind came by, but it was nothing compared to what I was able to do. Of course nothing would have happened, c'mon!
Eventually, quarantine became a little bit to hard for everybody in my family, especially my mom: she'd always had breakdowns and she'd sometimes scold me for no reason at all. It all sucked and, even though I knew I did nothing bad, seeing my mom angry at me and telling me for all my flaws (both physical or characterial) one by one making me feel useless drove me mad. It was a pretty dark period of my life. One day, it was pretty hot and I was doing my homework in my bedroom, so I decided to open the window. There was no wind, but opening it made me feel slightly better. All of a sudden, my mom started to do it again: I wanted to cover my ears, but that would have only made things worse. Now, the only thing I regret is opening up that window.
She started to do it again: fat, pimple head, antisocial. I think I'm a little bit overweight, but my doctor said that it was just one or two kilos above average: translated, it means that it was nothing bad. Yes, I've got tons of pimples on my face, but who can blame me? I'm not even the only one. Antisocial? You're the one who never wants me to go out because you think my friends are a bad influence on me! I started to get mad, and that's where the wind started to do its job: it began as a breeze, but then I've noticed that it hit different. There was something wrong with it. It became stronger and stronger and, when I cried, it became so strong that it shut my bedroom's door.
Fact is, it didn't happen only once: I'm keeping count on them. So far, it's been five times. I fear this isn't a coincidence anymore. I think that my power activates itself only during particular moments, such as rage.
And now, I've got a lot of questions:
* Is this real? How can I verify it?
* Is there any way I can control my power even without me being angry like I did before?
* Are those kinds of power inherited by somebody in your family or you are casually born with them? Or did I accidentally learn them somehow?
I'd really love it if somebody could help. I never thought that there could be somebody else that feels the same as me, and finding out about this page was one of the most comforting things that could happen.