It would be too lengthy to include every single precognitive dream that I had, but I would like to discuss the most important event to date, in my life. As a young girl, I have had many paranormal experiences - seeing ghosts, orbs, etc. And even recently, within the last couple of years I have seen about 5 or 6 UFOs, all of which appeared when I was in an emotional heightened state of inspiration, joy, recognition of truth. I am not by any means, claiming that they are necessarily extraterrestrial, but some of my most intense emotional states have corresponding with these events, which is strange. However, that's another story.
I began having precognitive dreams briefly in middle school, and they began again with a greater intensity during my senior year in college. I would always be lucid in these precognitive dreams and they have a particular quality to them, where they appear more "real" than my waking life. These dreams often involved relationships and scenarios with friends, family, and colleagues and would always materialize the following day. I would not always know that the dream is precognitive until it occurred exactly as I witnessed the event. It ranged from the most mundane event, such as dreaming a movie that I would see the next day or dreaming the part of book I would read the following day to emotionally significant events dealing with loved ones. The strange thing is that even though I dream the event before it occurs, I still feel as though I have little control over the situation or my reaction to it. It simply makes me feel as if the world is predetermined and that there is no such thing as free will. In a sense, I feel a victim of my own ability to see these future events. It is the most eerie feeling to see it unfold with such precision and without knowing the meaning or significance of why you saw this ahead of time.
Other times, I have dreams that are so real and are so spiritually and emotionally moving that I cannot question their "reality." These lucid dreams don't necessarily materialize, but I feel that they are more important, for I feel as if I'm working out my deepest issues through my dreaming. I awake feeling as if I'd gained the wisdom of living another decade. I meet beings that feel so real and with whom I feel such a deep connection with that my relationships in waking life cannot even compare. Have you stared into the eyes of another supposed "character" in your dream and felt as if you were peering straight into their soul? That is what it feels like, and the knowledge that is passed on to me is incredible and precious.
I record my dreams off and on. Although I should be more regular about it, I take it for granted that my dreams mean something and that I'll figure it easily if it's important enough. I happened to have recorded several lucid dreams from about a year ago, about my favorite mentor at a psychic school where I was taking classes. In these dreams, she was removing a tumor/cyst or some other mass from my throat. She did it with such gentleness and I remember feeling grateful. In the dream, I could physically feel it being pulled out. I wondered at the time, whether they had anything to do with actual reality, but brushed it aside. Moving forward about six months, I was continually haunted by the same dark figure at night. It must have occurred at least four or five times within two months. I would be dreaming and as I would begin to become more conscious and aware, I began to see her face more clearly and what she was doing to me. This Native American woman was sitting on top of me and strangling me with such rage that I never knew existed. Every time, I woke up from the dream, I felt her energy and hands still around my neck. During this time, I saw a life coach (who was also a psychic) for career advice. As soon as I walked into the room, she began feeling her own neck and said, "Christine, what is going on with your throat?" Before I could really answer, she said, "You were strangled in your most recent past life and it is somehow manifesting again." I had not said a word to her about the dream prior to this, but then immediately told her about my dreams. I did not give it much more thought as I was used to having such coincidences and paranormal things happen to me.
The events of the week leading up to this point are too personal for me to reveal, so I will just jump to the point. I had come down with the flu and was sick for about six or seven days. It was going around the office, my ex had strep the week before and my roommate also had pneumonia the week before. Well, it felt different this time. I had a friend do healings on me, but my illness would return and I'd feel much worse again in the morning. Finally, I had my roommate take me to the ER. I had just changed jobs and my new insurance hadn't been activated yet, so I had no coverage (which ended up to be a blessing because I qualified for indigent care that covers nearly all expenses). The nurses tested me for strep and flu, both of which I tested negative for and I was sent home. I thought this was a death sentence. I knew something was very wrong and now I would have to face death without medical help. I called my dad and told him I was very sick and did not want to die alone in this apartment. He, of course, thinking I was overreacting reluctantly agreed to pick me up and take me home. I threw up several times on the hour ride home and when I finally made it home, I didn't know whether I would last through the night.
I remember my sister walking into her room, where I was going to be staying and hearing her argue with my parents about something trivial. At that point, I thought to myself, "I am in a whole different world. I am on the verge of death and they have no idea, and they may not know until it is too late." The pain was tremendous, like nothing I have ever felt, I hallucinated the whole night. The only thing that got me through the night was the cat, which slept right on my stomach and the idea that I had to help heal others with my hands. It was the seventh or eighth day and I had still not eaten. My throat began to swell in excruciating pain, and swallowing my own saliva was most painful. I began to notice a red rash and swelling beginning with my neck. It moved quickly down my neck into my chest within a matter of an hour. I begged my parents to take me too the hospital, but I had just spent $1,200 on my hospital visit Friday. They thought I would get better in a day and that we could wait at least until Monday. But, something happened. Something was really wrong. I had been laying there in the same position now for a few days, but suddenly my heart rate jumped up to 130/140. My heart was beating out of my chest, and I thought, "This is it. It's happening - I'm dying." I told my mother and she called the family doctor, who told her I was in septic shock and that I needed to get to the hospital fast.
I don't remember that car ride or arriving at the hospital. I was in and out of consciousness. What the doctors knew was that I was in septic shock and that my lung had collapsed. They would drain my lung and perform a simply tracheotomy. I went into that surgery and didn't awake until six weeks later. As the doctors cut into my throat, dead tissue spilled out and they knew that they were dealing with entirely something else. A scan revealed that I had an abscess behind my vocal cords where the disease most likely originated from. I had developed necrotizing fasciitis, commonly known as the flesh eating bacteria. The disease is still a mystery, but only under the right conditions does the disease occur from group A Streptococci, a bacteria that is often found in the body without any symptoms. The typical survival rate is 30%, but with where the disease was located in my body, they cannot amputate. One doctor told me when I awoke that I really had about a 1% chance of surviving. The disease had spread down to my abdomen and the subcutaneous tissue had to be removed and constantly kept clean through a wound vac.
I did have three dreams that I recall while I was in the induced coma - all of which revealed what was happening to my body in waking life. The very first day I awoke, I had a dream/vision. I saw this different, indigenous Aztec woman. She looked like a fierce warrior and was incredibly strong, courageous, and ruthless. My perspective switched to hers and as she was looking down at my body, I saw my body unconscious filled with tubes sticking out. At this point she said, "She's suffered enough. Now she can live." And that was it, I would get better from that point on. In the dream, I felt why this had happened and I felt no sense of anger, but that it was necessary. I saw my life when I was also a strong male warrior. The law of the land was to kill or be killed, so I did and killed many people. But there was one incident where I thought that I was acting in defense, but I had killed a shaman that the woman's tribe was dependent on. Killing a shaman or religious figure like this was against the law, if you could call it that even. The warrior put a curse on me so that I would have to suffer but live through it. I felt no anger and understood that I had to repay this karma. As a side note, I am still not sure about this last dream and whether it is really connected to the incident or not.
I would like some other insight on two other seemingly related events. If anyone could offer any thoughts or interpretations it would be greatly appreciated. The reason I say they might be related is because it involves a Native American girl with intense rage, although she was much older in the dreams where she was strangling me. In the first dream, I was a teacher that taught young children how to embrace and interpret their psychic abilities. I enjoyed this work very much. However, there was this one Native American girl who was extremely talented but was either autistic or had some other kind of disability. She was brilliant, but had been very badly abused and didn't know how to communicate or relate to people. I went into the white room where she was being held. I knew she was not being treated right by the staff, but I knew I couldn't let her loose either. There was no furniture in the room just her. I approached her calmly and tried to remain grounded. I wanted to help her but didn't feel completely confident that I could. As I approached her, I felt her anger rise. She psychically slammed the door shut behind me. I starred into her eyes and as I did, her face shifted and eyes became black and empty. I said nothing, just offered my help through energy. I showed her that I could help her if she wanted to, but she had to choose. She became increasingly angry and I knew that she did not want my help and that she would do anything within her power to trap me into her world. I gently resigned and turned away, and awoke.
The second dream is similar - I think it is the same girl. Native American, about eight or nine. Earlier in the dream, I was out with friends and was trying to make connections for work and such. But, as I returned home to my dark house that night, I realized that I had forgotten something. The girl, she was not my own, but she depended on me. I was supposed to take care of her. The mood quickly changed from excitement and amusement to a still panic. The air was still stale with the tragedy that occurred while I was away. There was a piercing sense of fear, loneliness, and anguish. I knew something horrible had happened, something so bad that my mind couldn't even imagine it. I walked cautiously through the pitch black house and approached a blue glowing light in the back room. It was changing and shifting like a television left on that no one is watching. I see the girl. My heart is breaking, I want nothing else but to grab her in my arms and hug her, tell her I love her. But it is a very delicate moment that could determine the rest of her life, whether she can recover, love again and feel or whether she will be locked in a permanent state of rage and psychosis. I feel her shifting feelings of wanting my love but also wanting to hurt and kill me. And she could kill me easily with so much violence building within. The more time that elapsed between the event and my absence, the more she clutched onto the experience and lost herself in it. As I walked closer, I could feel it. It was still there - a presence, I wasn't just dealing with the girl. The energy was still holding onto her. At this point, I was only a few feet away from her, but the closer I got, the more I realized that she was gone and this thing had taken over. It wanted to trap me and make me become the evil that it was. So I turned from the girl and she was energetically trapped in the room. It broke my heart and I cried as I woke up.
I have probably gone into way too much detail, but there it is. By the way, I've been out of the hospital for 5 months and am doing very well. I'm running again, doing yoga, etc. My voice has still not come back completely, but it is getting stronger by the day. I could also talk about how this near death experience has affected me, but that would take a lot of time, and I hope to put all of it into a book. I'll just say that overall, it has made me realize what's truly important in my life - my family and friends and doing what really makes me happy. I have struggled most of my life with bouts of severe depression, which I think most highly sensitive people do. And it is precisely because I find it difficult to stomach what society tells me I should be or what is success that I have struggled. I am learning more and more to trust and listen to myself and to care less and less about pleasing other people, which is a very valuable lesson for me. I think that the world needs these sort of perspectives and the more people voice their real feelings and thoughts, the more it will encourage others to have the courage to be honest with themselves. This site has helped me taking the first step in writing this down and sharing it, so thank you!