Before you read this story I suggest you read my first one about Ouija experimentation. It relates to this one. Anyway, this story is how I've been handling my psychic development and school life, which aren't easy and also, a few other experiences.
I have created a downward spiral since first trying to develop my abilities. I'll start with the headaches. I read somewhere that they're normal for psychics (in my case not really psychic) or partial psychics. I have them usually when around negative people. Lately it's been all the time.
My eyes are sore. Like when you try to look too far left without moving your head. I'm always tired (my amount of sleep has not changed) and my body is very sore. Will I have to get used to this? Will this take a bigger toll on me in the future?
I've had the need to share this with someone lately. Watching movies and stuff and seeing someone telling someone else about something that seems impossible or crazy you think it's no big deal. Imagining it, it takes it to a whole new level. I'm terrified if she'll ask for proof, because I'm not that far yet at all in my development. Then not believe me anymore.
Despite this stress my parents are currently questioning me about school, why I'm so miserable, my friends (who are also having problems that are not related), and I even dumped my boyfriend because I didn't want him to somehow know anything about this.
The thing that confuses me further is that I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a while, and I'm not sure why. I also think I'm losing my identity. I'm not acting like myself. But I'm happier. But it's like a depressed happy. Almost like I've been depressed so long that I don't even care. I also have nothing to be depressed about, which scares me.
My latest experienced was tarot reading. I re-read the prophecies of all of my friends, and the past card (and I asked my friends for a one word description of their pasts) was most of the time, correct. I was very happy. But I don't want to do futures and tarot reading. I'd really love to be able to see spirits and tell how people are feeling (with accuracy) and help spirits pass on or get rid of demons.
I can live with headaches, but my identity loss is confusing me. I couldn't care less anyway, but I'm confused. I don't know what I want to be like (quiet, strong, loud, always happy, clever, outgoing etc.) I'm moody and always changing.
Also I could do with some exercises for helping my ability grow? I'm desperate for help in this area, so please comment and help. Should I tell a friend? I'm starting to think I shouldn't. But they'd understand me a lot easier.