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Visions That Are Tearing My Family Apart

 

Greetings.

I sincerely apologize if I should post this elsewhere, but I was unsure which category this really falls into as it's a combination of things. I'm in a state of utter desperation now. I am just hoping there is someone who can help me control/channel my visions...

I have had a lot of problems in my life, and attending long-term psychology therapy has enabled me to identify the issues behind my troubles. As a child I believe I was always aware of spirit presences, and lived in a house with a very strange aura. So strange in fact that many of my friends found it extremely 'spooky'. I saw the ghost of a man one evening in my parents' bedroom, a dark shadow of a man dressed in some kind of smart, classic style attire and wearing a top hat. At this time and continually until we moved out of the house, I experienced many feelings and was awoken several times during the night to the overpowering feeling of somebody sitting at the end of my bed or objects falling off shelves/chest of drawers etc. I have always wondered if one of the spirits was that of my late Grandfather (my dads' father) whom I never met. He died when my dad was 19 I believe, from a short cancer illness. Tragically, this was only a year after my Grandmother had died in mysterious/suspicious circumstances- her body was found in a river, and the coroner had ruled an open verdict. This is something my sister and I discovered many years later, when we found her death certificate.

Anyway, following the appearance of the mystery figure, I was extremely frightened and ran downstairs crying and told my parents. They simply laughed at me and I felt stupid and wondered if I was just being a kid with an overactive imagination. But the incidents following this one convinced me otherwise. However, I had nobody to talk to. I knew I couldn't say anything to my family for fear of being ridiculed, so I bottled it all up inside. I changed from a confident, fun-loving boy to a major introverted, painfully anxious and withdrawn teenager. I suffered depressive episodes and suffered from anorexia (never diagnosed, although I was 6 stone and 5"8-9ish for several years and got teased a lot at school. I began drinking heavily at the age of 14 to try and block out my 'psychic feelings' and the extremely powerful feeling of being observed by someone or something. This feeling has never gone away.

After suffering my 3rd major depressive episode (this time the worst) about 15 months ago following another failed relationship and the death of our beloved family dog, Toby. After his death there was a terrible dark feeling in the house (this not being the same house I had previously experienced so much. I had a trance-like vision a couple of months after his death, where I saw him in a lush green field full of sunshine and color with our previous Labrador (Toby was a Norfolk terrier), Heidi- who he loved hugely. She died a few years earlier. A couple of years after she died we had another dog, a rescue dog (lurcher) called Harry. Harry was deeply troubled for many months after Toby died, and would not sleep on his own. If he was left alone at night he would howl and dig up the carpet.

I knew the message from my vision was that he wanted to be freed to be with Heidi, not only for his sake but for the entire family's.

Interestingly, my sister was regularly attending sessions at a local spiritual church and she asked about Toby. She was told that his ashes must be removed from the place they were in the house. The night they were moved to the garage, Harry slept peacefully for perhaps the first time since Toby's death.

This was merely short-term, however, and the problems returned until I broke down and pleaded that we bury his ashes in the garden and give him a proper send off. Unbelievably my family agreed, as even my Mum felt his distressed presence regularly. Following the send-off things seemed much better, and we all felt an enormous sense of relief.

However, since then, I believe I have been opened up to something which is much greater than I could possibly ever have imagined. For many weeks I picked up on many messages on the news and strange coincidental events which kind of scared me a little. All the messages were linked to 'evil' and I have felt an overwhelming sensation of grief and human suffering, which has been absolutely heart breaking. A few weeks ago, the visions became so intense that I panicked and made a bad decision whereby I took an illegal drug (Ketamine- nasally). I am thoroughly ashamed. I had an intense out-of body experience whilst in my bed, and my parents and dog were all present. My parents were devastated, naturally, and I felt so much remorse. I was floating above my bed looking down at my crumpled body and the hunched figures of my parents, yet I couldn't get down to my body. What followed was an experience I will never forget. I was shown many things, first terrible, horrific events. I wasn't sure whether these were past events, present or future. They included an apocalyptic type typhoon in the East, a nuclear war between U.S and Russia, and unimaginable human suffering. My heart felt like it was bleeding to death. Then all of a sudden an incredibly bright light appeared and an illuminated figure who I couldn't make out appeared. I was able to communicate with him through my mind and I asked him 'Why?' The reply seemed to be that things in this world are not what they seem, and that we all have an urgent decision to make- to follow God's will or to reject it. I went on to ask about 9/11, and I was sent on another journey. What I saw shocked and frightened me... The people we are supposed to trust had tricked us. I still now (3 weeks on) know what I saw was true, and what I saw has been comprehensively backed up with research I have done since (on my own initiative, I have been careful not to allow myself to be influenced by rubbish on the internet, of which there is a great deal).

After this, I returned to my body from a set of gates where the bright light was. I was fully conscious and aware of things and my family around me. However, the house was an enormous dark, wet and cold stony walled building. I though I was dead, or at least when I closed my eyes- death was to follow. I eventually cried myself to sleep. Upon awaking the next day I looked out the window. Where before there was nothing but eerie darkness and frozen trees, there were birds EVERYWHERE and a beautiful clear sky. The sun was beaming down, and I felt so relieved.

In the weeks following this, however, my visions have continued (some occurring in trance-like states, others through amazingly vivid dreams) I have tried on many occasions to talk to my mum and sister about what I have been seeing, and they don't want to know. I know they are frightened, and don't believe me simply because I took this drug. But I have argued until blue in the face... I only took the drug because I was afraid, I wanted to banish these visions for good, especially as I had nobody to talk to about them. I have not felt any compulsion to take drugs or drink any alcohol since, until yesterday. The previous day my Mum broke down and said some things that will stay with me for the rest of my life. It became clear that I was blamed for everything bad that has happened within our family, and admittedly I guess I was. But nobody accepts that I have had my reasons- I am careful not to call them excuses, as they are not. So, yesterday, in a state of desperation I took the drug again- and a very similar experience ensued again. The horror was even worse this time, and much of what I have been 'seeing' now makes perfect, albeit harrowing sense.

I know I now have no chance of being understood at all. I do not wish, or have any inclination to take any illegal drug or get drunk through alcohol. I did what I did yesterday in retaliation and desperation, I am so sorry for it now. But I feel like I'm running out of options, and chances. My family is ashamed of me, as I am of myself for doing what I have done.

I just don't know who to go to help me with my experiences. It is ruining my life at the moment, and tearing my family further apart.

I pray to God, and I feel him with me sometimes... But I feel I desperately need a physical friend to talk to, who understands what I am going through, before it's too late.

Sorry for the essay, I didn't know how to keep this one short.

Kind regards,

Simon

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, The_longandwinding_road, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Taurusgirl10 (8 stories) (113 posts)
 
12 years ago (2009-04-05)
I can talk to you. I'm so sorry that so much has happened. I know how you feel.
I've told some of my friends about my abilities. But they don't accept me anymore. Some of them do. That's not very similar to what you've experienced. But close. I'll try to see if I could talk to you. I hope to hear from you soon.

Until then,
God bless
Oracle101 (2 stories) (506 posts)
 
13 years ago (2008-12-18)
Simon, you have become what is known as a "sensitive", either because you inherited it from a (more understanding) relative who also had the ability, or because you were sensitive to seeing one spirit at a young age and so now other spirits are reaching out to you. You are what I am; a portal. A doorway. You most likely have a glowing aura (which you yourself might not see) which spirits are drawn to, similar to how they are drawn to "the light" which guides them to heaven.

The first step is understanding what you have, second you need to learn how to control it so spirits do not harm you or scare you, then you can use it to help spirits (just like you helped your dog. Animals are sensitive to seeing spirits also). When and if you need extra assistance you can call on your Guides to come forward. It is their job to help you and others like yourself. Prayer to God is good but praying to the highest power only rids of spirits and protects you. It is your Guides who can help you develop this ability/gift. I can help you with how to contact your Guides if you wish, or you can read my other comments on this subject. I have 42 years experience in being a Psychic Medium.

Oracle
❤ Always happy to help ❤
twilightowl (3 posts)
 
13 years ago (2008-12-17)
HI! My name is scott I want to thank you for being so open with us its not easy I know a little about depression myself I must say the gift you have is such a blessing I wold be more then happy to talk with you 😁

I wish you all the happyness in the world 😊
The_longandwinding_road (1 stories) (1 posts)
 
13 years ago (2008-12-17)
Thank you so much for all of your kind comments, it is comforting to not feel so alone.

Firstly, things have already improved slightly- my mother has, I think, begun to accept my experiences are real for me. I know it frightens her, but after a long talk I managed to get the point across that it has frightened me all of my life. I have gone through all this alone, and I've been petrified at times. I realised I had to find the courage to talk to a psychic/medium. I have been frightened due to the nature of my 'insights' but it was something I had to do, because lives and relationships were suffering too much. I wasn't surprised that I was told the messages I was receiving were flooding in too quickly and I should attend a spiritual church to learn how to communicate with my spirit guides and to channel and control their messages. I can spiritually and physically feel their presence, almost all of the time. The feeling is particularly strong in my left leg, and I occasionally feel as though there is a powerful electromagnetic field around my legs. The person I spoke to said the guide (s) were trying to protect me. A card reading indicated I am receiving 'vital' messages for a special purpose. I don't want to take it all literally, I am conscious that I must keep my mind open and free in order to make my own mind up about things. I have, however, for some time felt a strong sense that I have been given a job to do, through helping others in quite a significant way. I don't know yet what this means but that is why I must learn techniques such as meditation. I will be speaking to somebody experienced from a nearby spiritual church in the next few days to hopefully find out how to begin learning.

Hardtoremember, thanks for your advice. I am also glad for you that you have a wife who understands your experiences. I know I must get over feelings of guilt, I am sure I will not do anything daft again and besides, I can't turn back the clock.
I did question some of the things I believe I have been shown, but for much of it there is depth and detail- sometimes on subjects I knew very little about previously.

Seer_of_shadow, I really appreciate your offer... It is because of people such as yourself that God has faith in us as a race, despite what man has done to himself and to his home.

I will certainly look into getting hold of that book, Rozella. I have had a look for some literature but of course there's always the worry of being fed a load of rubbish. It is reassuring that you recommend this book so highly, however.

Again, thank you all for your advice and kindness. God bless you.

Simon
hardtoremember (37 posts)
 
13 years ago (2008-12-17)
First off, welcome. There are a lot of people around here to talk to. You have friends.
As far as the drugs and alcohol go they only lead down one path and it is not a good one. I did much the same as you from the age of 16 until I was almost 30.
Feeling guilty about it will only help you go back to the same and worse behavior. SO stop feeling guilty, understand that you made a mistake and move on. Don't do it anymore. It really is that simple.
Pray for discernment with your visions. They can be clouded by our own world view, what we saw on the news and many other things.
In my case I stopped telling my family because they were starting to think I was crazy. Now I go about my life with a wife that believes me and understands me. I dealt with it on my own and with communities like this who could help.
seer_of_shadow (5 stories) (63 posts)
 
13 years ago (2008-12-16)
Hey if you need someone to talk to just give me your e-mail or something.

I somewhat understand what you feel, I have somewhat the ability to sense what is going to happen but I never "see" it I just feel it. I only tell my sis because she sees spirits during her sleep paralysis episodes and she has psychic feelings as well. But if you ever need someone to talk to, even though I don't know you, God would want me to help you and I will do what I can.
RozellaCheri (13 posts)
 
13 years ago (2008-12-16)
Simon- Everyone makes choices in their life that they may regret, or things just don't happen the way we want them too- don't think that your family is being torn apart due to things that you have experienced. They have the choice to either resent you for it, or they have the choice to embrace what your experiencing and help eachother as a family. (This is just my personal opinion) And although I have made this same suggestion to someone else recently, it's only because this truly, truly helped me. There is a book called " The Book of Angels" written by Sylvia Brown- Simon trust me when I say this book will help you. I'm sure it will explain so many things that you have experienced personally, and maybe some questions that you have always wondered about. It has meditation excerises for protection, healing, refining your visions... And much more. It may be a little corny in the begining- but stick with it to the end- and I promise you, you will be happy you did. Take Care ❤

RozellaCheri

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