Ever since I was a small child, I have had experiences that I am unable to explain. My first vivid memory was when I was about 5 and I fell through the ice on the lake which my family lived on. I remember trying to pull myself out but the ice kept breaking. I was cold and I could feel my muscles giving out to the cold, but I remember blackness came over me, almost like I was sitting at a movie watching myself from "within my head". I saw myself surrounded by a dark light and then I was lifted out of the water. As soon as I was out, I came to and was in control of my body again.
I ran to my mother and never told her what had happened. The second noticeable incident was when I was about 14. I began "sensing" what others around me were feeling, but it went further than empathy. I felt how they felt and then I was further able to decipher the emotion, sort through it and pick out individual thoughts and ideas embedded within the emotion. I started testing it out, "reading" people's emotions, and then using the thoughts I could decipher to persuade them to do what I wanted, or to get the reactions I wanted. I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but I felt compelled to test it further, and see just how accurate it was.
I would put myself in harder and harder situations, put people in more and more emotional situations, just to decipher their emotions. And the more I practiced it the more "powerful" it became, I became more focused and more capable to pick through and decipher thoughts, it got to the point where I could pick out whole thought lines.
Next, when I was around 16, I started to have terrible dreams. The dreams would either; one, come true or two; specters would come to me, creatures I had never seen before, loud screaming and just horror. I would stop sleeping for days, and finally I would just fall asleep and they would go away. I noticed that when I get angry, and wish bad on others it would happen. I also noticed that when I close my eyes and focus on the people around me I can see energy around them and by thinking about it I could, manipulate that energy.
I decided to do my own research and I found out that I may be a psychic vampire, for it was true that I had a thirst to play with the energy around people, and read or I guess "eat" their emotions. After I would manipulate the energy people seemed tired. And I always felt energized. But nothing I have read even comes close to what I can do, someone please help me, anything will help, I just want answers, I want to finally be at peace with myself and be able to accept my gifts. But I can't do that without knowing what they are.
Thank you all,