This is my first attempt at trying to describe/discuss my experiences in a public forum. I have not really defined my gift but I suppose the word 'medium' best describes how I help others.
When I first started on this spiritual path, it began with sensing/seeing auras, then progressed to ghosts (earth-bound spirits) - eventually I was able to control these beings from 'pestering' me. A few years later whilst living in London I was 'guessing' for a few friends at a party and happened upon someone on 'the other side' who wanted to make contact. It was beautiful and I couldn't believe all the pictures I was seeing were real and had such value to add to someone's life. The messages came fast and felt wonderful. From there my gift grew and I was able to decipher the 'symbols' given to me a little better each time.
I had an energy worker do a healing on me last year who said I had 'spirits' attaching themselves to me and beings that would not 'let go'. It made sense but my rational mind kept thinking it was due to all the traveling and hectic schedule I enjoyed/endured.
A few weeks ago however, I did quite a rigorous meditation course and during one of the sessions I felt something 'use' my body. This is something I've always been weary of but at the same time, has always intrigued me. A week before the incident, I felt there was a message for my friend, a being that kept saying 'I'm here now *my friends name*, now what do you want from me!'. I saw this being wanting to sit in front of her and curiously gleam into her eyes.
I didn't mention anything to her that evening. A few days later we were all in a meditation circle - I felt very relaxed and open, I then felt my throat deepening (very weird experience to describe).
I then felt this being 'use' my body. My hand lifted towards her face and turned her head towards mine. I felt this being looking at her (through my eyes). I had no idea what was happening, neither did she. But she went with it for a short while until someone else in the circle called my name and said 'snap out of it'. I was apparently very pale and remember giggling and feeling dizzy afterwards. Wanting to get sick but having this 'high' feeling. It was strange to say the least.
It naturally freaked some people but the commotion after seemed to help diffuse the situation. I have done one reading since but am very apprehensive to even attempt to meditate. This has made me loose faith in my 'guardians' and right now I am feeling a bit lost.
I have had an offer to begin testing my abilities as a medical intuitive but don't really want to go down this path until I know I have this under control.
Please help! Anyone out there had a similar experience?
Was this what they call 'trance mediumship'? Not big on defining things so any info would help.
I really don't know if this is a path I should pursue or not.