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Growing Up Is A Hard Thing To Do


I'm just not sure what to think of this. I'm new to this site and I am hoping to find information as well as common ground with people because I've always felt alone in this area. I've always had experiences since I was a child. I mean I knew I saw things or perceived things that couldn't be explained. When my parents would occasionally fight when I was a kid, my reaction was different from my siblings because I was able to feel the exact emotions they were feeling and it was overwhelming. However, that was about what happen.

I could only feel and understand other people's emotion. I guess I started as an empath (?). As I got older things got more interesting. I started to dream events that seem to happen days after my dreaming. I also noticed shadow figures around my room; sometimes I would see people walking around. I paid no mind to it, I didn't know what my parents or siblings would say and I knew for a fact that it was a big NO on telling my friends.

When I hit my 16 birthday I had the weirdest experience yet, I remember I didn't even go to school for two weeks because I was scared and extremely tired. I remember dreaming about this girl my age, blond long hair in a pig tail. She was wearing a 60's-70's style cheerleading outfit and we were near a mountain that was burning down. I was there with her, it was like I knew her, then she dash towards the mountain and I went after her. It got dark to point where I knew something bad was going to happen. I remember she told me that her mother was murdered and her younger sister was missing. She said her father killed them and then we ended up in this sort of plain setting. There was a swing set with a lot of leaves and black plastic bags. I froze because of the emotions stirring in that place and then the girl opened one of the trash bags and her mother's body was there. I was about to go to her when we heard a noise. We turned and we saw her father... Gosh his image is burned in me... He was just evil. I remember him, 5'9 black greasy hair, and brown eyes, blue polo type of shirt, dark navy jeans and black boots around the age of 49. The worst part was his smile and the bloodied axe on his right hand. I was so scared and then I stepped back and I was suddenly in a cabin and I saw him just kill his daughter. I remember I was crying and trying to wake up because he saw me and headed towards me. I was pounding around the cabin crying and trying to just wake up. He got so close to me and was whispering something to me. My sister was working on a school project and she made a very large noise and that was the only way I was able to wake up. I couldn't stop crying after that or go back to sleep.

A couple days later my doxie starts barking around my bed in the morning, my sister comes and grabs him and freezes because she notices a figure near my bad. I awoke and I suddenly knew he was there. I shot up and ran out of the bedroom. The interesting part was that it was my sister that woke me up from my dream that saw the same man, and she described him to me. Now I hadn't told her of my dream and then everything felt surreal. I couldn't believe he was actually standing there staring at me. After that I was sick for a week or so. I mean up to date, I am still not sure what to think of this, and I've had dreams of him now and then, but sometimes I dream of other people, people who have been hurt in some way or another and I just don't know what to do; I even have conversations with them, they always ask me to tell something to their love ones and I find it a bit frustrating at times. After those events I also tend to keep their emotions along with mines and sometimes they become overwhelming.

Aside from that I sometimes perceive days differently. For example, I wake up and I know the day is different something is going to happen. When I head outside I see colors everywhere and I mean they are jumping at me. People, animals and plants just have a glow around them and I can read them easier, I mean I can even tell if they are getting sick or are sick without even knowing the individual. I find it strange but when this happens I tend to see a lot more of shadow people or ghost in my dreams or at my current place of residence. I don't know what to think of this but I do know last time that happen I ended up sick for a couple of weeks.

I guess I'm kind of scared at the moment. With me growing older a lot more things happen and that just scares me because I don't know what to do with it. I can't even control it and it's frustrating. I also feel somewhat alone with this. I don't really know anyone that has this type of perception going on their lives and I just want to figure out what I am, what I can do to help people and just be able to live with this. I guess now that I am 20 things just become weirder and weirder and I just don't know what to do.

I would appreciate any type of help or something just so I can understand this better. Thanks!

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, asuddenapifiny, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Gracie3000 (3 posts)
12 years ago (2009-11-16)
I joined the site to support you in this journey. I hope that you don't feel alone. As a reminder, you can always talk to me about absolutely ANYTHING. Don't hesitate at all.
As Anne said, things will only get harder with time. But you come across lessons along the way that will make everything worth even the effort. Don't feel lonely because of your gifts. You now know there are other gifted ones and don't forget that many love you dearly no matter how special you are 😉 So please stay strong and know that I'm by your side.

Thank you for being there for me all this time. I hope I can be of help now.

asuddenapifiny (4 stories) (5 posts)
12 years ago (2009-11-11)
Hi Anne,

Thank you for your words and welcome. You are right though, It is easier to find others with the same ability thanks to the internet.

I know for a fact that I do not just want to ignore it, it's something I've come slowly to accept as a part of me however I just don't know a lot about it and that is what scares me and sometimes frustrates me.

I don't really understand the overload though. I mean I am not someone that stresses over everything, in fact everyone tells me that I handle myself well. I try my best to make sure things don't go overboard and that I keep myself calm and collective. Sometimes though it can be difficult especially now since my perception has been occurring more often than not.

I'm kind of surprise you brought up the 'mate' part in. I know a lot of close friends and family ask me why I find it difficult to date someone. It is because having what I have I can tell that the person would not be alright with it and they just wouldn't understand. I guess I just haven't really met anyone that could either accept or understand what I go through in a sense. But that's going off the topic I guess 😜.
AnneV (4 stories) (1063 posts) mod
12 years ago (2009-11-11)
Life for someone who has a thin veil between this world and the next is indeed paramount in difficulty. But you're not alone. We should all feel very fortunate in that we have the internet to connect one another.

At some point in your life, a reconciliation will probably occur. Life does not generally get easier, nor will you become less astute in your observations. You will only grow more keenly aware of what is going on around you. This plane of existence is pretty much gorilla warfare. It's like living in a pack of wild dogs. To top it off, it appears that you're able to see the other side. And because the next vibrational step up is the lower astral/etheric, it's often negative. As you yourself pointed out, it's people that are having a hard time moving up the ladder because of some painful demise.

The reconciliation I speak of is the "knowing". You're going to know all this, accept this place for what it is, and then try and find your place in it. Why are you here? Like the rest of us, it's to experience life and to grow from it. In your case, it very well may lead to passing on messages. It could be to teach or to heal the pain of others. Or you can ignore the whole thing and just continue on your average life. The choice applies to all of us.

When you are sensitive like this, take special care of yourself. Overload can be a real possibility. Reduce noise chaos, associate with people who don't stress you out or cause drama. Set boundaries, seek points of relaxation to recharge as you'll need all the energy you posses to cope. Care for others but keep your emotional and energy stability balanced.

You are still very young and this may seem off topic (but for some reason I feel compelled to share this with you), pick your mate wisely. You already know how isolating this level of consciousness is. To have the right mate, of equal mind, will make your tenure here on earth more manageable.

Welcome to the site.

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