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On Empathy And Finding Yourself

 

I don't come to ask help off of you. Anybody. I was not completely lost always, I was just a bit skeptical. At first, I didn't even really notice it at first. As far as I knew, I was just really good at knowing people. Knowing myself, that was another story. It took a lot to really reevaluate and realize what I was. To be able to say it aloud. To myself even. I mean, there is no denying how silly it sounds at first. But I did it.

It started when I was a baby. I remember things back then. I remember a lot. For a two year old I understood too much of the world. I felt things a two year old shouldn't feel. Love, crushes, embarrassing things. I understand now that it wasn't mine to feel, but I did. My sister and I would be bored sometimes and play a game. She would hold all her nail polish colors on her side, grab one and ask which it was. I always got it right. Then, to make it more complicated. We tried combinations. I got it right again. I used to tell her that I could tell when guys liked her. I was about seven years old then. I knew I only had to stand a couple of feet away from him (the guy) and all of a sudden I would just know. Sometimes other things would come with it. I specialize in relationships. I can see the beginning and end of every one. That's how my sister uses me. Even though shes forgotten about what I did as a child, or just doesn't speak of it at all. (I had very little control over myself back then, so I gave in to my impulses).

Through middle school, it got really bad. I was sad all the time. My heart broke over and over again and I didn't even know why. This went on for four years. Until I woke up from it all. When I did, I realized a lot of things about myself. After spending four years inside my head, I knew too much, I couldn't stop my head from going on without me.

Awhile ago I met a girl at work. At the instant that I saw her, I hated her and didn't know why. It isn't normal for me to hate someone. Usually I love everyone. I know that sounds crazy, but its true. I do. After feeling everyone's pain, knowing everyone's story the way I do, I can't help but love them. Soon after meeting this girl, my best friend walked through the door and I could see why I hated her. She was about to have a relationship with him and break his heart. Over and over again. Also, another piece of information that slipped into my head: she had been pregnant before, gave up the baby when her boyfriend left her.

Sometimes, I just know things. Things that no one has told me, yet I know. I understand.

Sometimes I feel things so strongly, that I can't control myself.

I feel urges to kiss a guy that's just a friend. Then, I realize I was standing too close to a friend of mine, and he is her boyfriend. Some times it feels invasive and I wish I could get it out, get myself under control. Because sometimes I can't tell what's true and what's not. What belongs to me and what doesn't. This is why I have no relationships at all. Have you ever felt someones love so strongly that you think its your own? I have. But I just can't love someone because they love me. Its not fair. If that means I can't date, then, oh well.

I've gotten a lot of control over my empathy but at the same time, I'm scared when it dims down. Its a part of me, and without it, I feel too human. Its an advantage and I can't live without that part of me. I want to learn to make it stronger. There's another part to me, but ill explain that later.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, valkyrie, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

brill (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-11-05)
It...the ability to sence hapenings, is agood thing when the feelings are good.
but when the feelings are for bad happenings. Then they can play on your mind. You are given these feelings to help others so use them.
RougeElegance (guest)
 
11 years ago (2010-07-06)
Valkyrie,

I hope you will read this.

I understand you because that was me as a child and as a woman. I felt what you've felt before. I know other people's feeling, I feel them myself, and a lot of the times, I became confused. As a young Empath, with no knowledge of who I was, it was like I was being dragged by a current of thousands of emotions.

Now, however, I have come to sense when I am feeling my own feelings and when I am feelings others. I've come to learn to use my Gift to my advantage, instead of being controlled by it. That is what comes with this Gift...

It is a blessing when it is used the way it should be. 😊

I hope that you would get back to me when you've read this

-RougeElegance ❤
Snow (1 stories) (11 posts)
 
11 years ago (2010-06-08)
your reason is the same reason I don't have realtionships I can't handle them. Then their emotions are to strong and in my face for me to bare. It sucks though but it can be a gift.
valkyrie (2 stories) (40 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-12-02)
i never really thought I about it. Its kind of one of my senses. I have always been able to do it and never thought much of it. And yes I know other empaths. I don't feel much towards a fresh new one, but I have felt strong strong almost painful energy whenenever I am near someone with a gift. This is how I meet most. Either I sense them, or they sense me.
Nguyenkid (14 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-12-02)
Sorry about the mistakes...
Proof-Reading is not a good skill if mines...

Sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions

Do you know any other empaths?
Do you feel anything towards them since you share powers?

In first impressions I can generalize a person. I know how they could act. But that is just what's common.
If I want to get deep down I'll have to ask questions.
I talked to this girl today about how I was anaylzing while we talked. It was weird and I didn't know why I did it.

How do you manifest your powers?
Is it mental visuazation or is it one of your senses?
valkyrie (2 stories) (40 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-12-01)
you know, that is strange though. Nguyenkid. I never felt real love either. The reasons behind it werent good. Its always convenience manipulation, loneliness, never real love
valkyrie (2 stories) (40 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-12-01)
genita why do you envy me? I mean, I love my gift but it gets in the way sometimes.
valkyrie (2 stories) (40 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-12-01)
i had a theory it was healing and now I think its true. If I try to focus my energy towards my palm I can make it start again but how do I use it? Thank you lasker.
Nguyenkid (14 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-12-01)
Empaths know emotions but sometimes it's feels as if we should be called Apaths...
Sure we can make to people fall in love but we can't commit ourselves to this feeling...

You know, I rather suffer emotional pain then tame my empathic powers. I was always a wild kid and I feel my powers feel the same way.
If course I don't know what you powers thinks.

I never felt REAL love from anyone before. Only lust and greed. Or maybe that is what live is...

Good luck having an empathic life!
Hope I helped!
Who_Am_I (3 stories) (9 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-30)
I know exactally how you feel... I consider myself to be a clairsentient empath as well... Especially the part about how you said you hated someone at work... I felt the same way with this one girl I know at work... I felt sick when I was around her as well as nervous and I knew I didn't like her at all... I didn't know why that was until she started bad mouthing a good friend of mine... She is also a very sarcastic and angry person and she isn't happy with herself at all... So I can relate to that...

Other then that everything you said does describe how I am except my ability didn't kick in until I got older like around 10 years old... Or so...

I also understand the part in which where you fear you may lose your ability because it makes you feel too human... I have the same feeling as well

I think we should talk e-mail me whenever you want to
Sonia_elmejjad [at] yahoo.com
genita (1 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-29)
valkyrie,i seriously envy you... I wish I have had your abilities...
Lasker (5 stories) (48 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-25)
I have the healing ability. When I walk near people that are sick, my hand tingles very intensely, and I suspect that the energy goes to where it needs to go without me even thinking about sending it.

So, yes, it seems that other people's consciousness can pull your ability towards them.
valkyrie (2 stories) (40 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-11-25)
bye the way, has anybody ever had the feeling someone was calling them, physically though? Something happens to me in the center of my palm and I have a feeling someone needs me, is it nothing?

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