Ever since I was little, I was always different. I was always the oddball. And I always saw things the way they were. My family described me as "observant". As I got older, I became the "go-to friend". The crying shoulder, the good listener. I always thought I was just good at helping people and giving advice, and the fact that I always "knew" how people were feeling never struck me as odd. Now, at the age of 21, I have come to realize that I'm an Empath. My strong of love of animals, knowing who has good intentions and who does not without ever speaking to someone, feeling sick in certain venues, reaching out to people who I "know" need a helping hand, without them ever saying a word. All this and much more, I thought was just part of my "weirdness".
It wasn't until very recently that my mood swings were going out of control. Before entering a mall, I would be all smiles and after walking by a bunch of people I would become very nervous or angry and sometimes happy. The effect would last hours. And lately, I had been struggling at my job. I couldn't look at people without getting a weird mental picture of them. For instance, I work in a Photography Studio and I talk to people every day. Some sessions were hard for me, because I know the pregnant woman I was photographing was not happy to be having a child. Sometimes I would have another employee finish a shoot because the mental pictures of a father arguing with a mother in front of the children was to much to bear. But it was not always negative. Some people felt comfortable enough to share their life stories with me, share their victories and triumphs and cry during a shoot. I knew when my co-workers were upset, when they felt lonely or sick even though they seemed upbeat and joyful on the outside.
I know when someone is lying to me. I know when my parents fought, even though they got over it by the time I saw them. I feel physically ill when my boyfriend/family is in trouble or feeling ill as well. The night my cousin tried to kill herself, I couldn't sleep and was having terrible muscle aches (she tried to overdose on muscle relaxers). I had a panic attack at home at the same time my boyfriend was at a gas station that was held up by a thief. I can watch a McDonald's commercial and cry. I can read a book or hear a song and feel like the song or book was written for me or about me. My moms dog follows me around the house. Eats when I do, sleeps when I do, goes to the bathroom when I do. And waits by the window until I come home. She loves all people, but the obsession is only with me. Children are always incredibly attracted to me, and some people become dependent on my company, so much so that I will sometimes have to cut ties with them, because I can not handle being around them.
I believe I am an Empath because my grandmother is one as well. She is very wise and very intuitive. She always knows who is good for you and who is not. She can read people very well and is always seen talking to someone who needs help.
It was only yesterday that I discovered what my gift is. This gift of knowledge. I know now what I am and who I am. I am different and I am blessed. And although I sometimes curse this gift, it is a gift nonetheless.