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A Curse Or A Gift?


My name is Nikki and I am 22 years old. I am not really sure what category my story belongs in because I have no idea what I am experiencing or why. From the time I was little, I have always felt like I was being watched. I have told many people about this, how I felt like my life was not real; that I was a character on someone's TV screen or in a book. The background information that I am starting off with may or may not have anything to do with my present experiences; I just feel a need to write them as well, just in case it helps with my story, or helps me find closure to what is going on.

From the time I was a toddler until I hit school-age, I would feel a negative force pull me backwards. Though I do not ever remember actually moving, the hallways or rooms--from what I can remember--would seem to be getting bigger and moving farther and farther away from me. I remember one particular experience when I finally had the guts to look behind me and see where it was pulling me. I remember seeing an adult man with an angry face, arms out stretched towards me, motioning for me to come to him. I remember being so scared that I threw myself on the floor, playing dead so he would not attack me. After that, it stopped.

In addition to this, I have always had weird "deja vu." I often think someone's name before they call me, think of a song before it plays on the radio... This could all be coincidental, but it could also help my story. I am just seeking help or direction.

Onto the story...

I think whenever a person is alone in a house by themselves, any small creak in the floor seems louder, voices become more clear, and everything is just much, much more scary. I have never thought twice about the voices I would hear... I have tried covering my ears or turning on the TV or music whenever I would hear footsteps. I told myself that the shadows in other rooms were just my curtains swaying, which is all still possible. But here, I proceed.

I was walking around a farmer's market one day with my five month old son and his father. I passed a psychic stand, smiled, and kept walking. She started to follow me and asked me if she could give me a reading. I kindly told her that I did not have any money and she walked away. I passed her one more time and again she followed me. This time she told me she needed to speak with me alone. I went into her kiosk with her and she told me that there was a dark aura around me. She told me I am cursed and that there are bad spirits following me. I was never scared before she told me any of this. After feeling a little weird about the situation, I started to question her ability, so I left. She made me take her phone number down.

After that, the voices started getting louder and more clear. She had told me never to listen to the voices, so I tried my hardest to drown out the noise. I saw shadows more frequently and would have to shut my eyes tightly so that I would not look. It got to the point where I could not shower in my apartment alone. I was deathly terrified of being by myself. My parents thought it was getting too weird and asked me to please stop talking to her. I did as they asked. After awhile, the voices did not bother me and I did not focus on the shadows.

This was over three years ago. To this day, whenever someone brings up the word "psychic" or has me talking about my experience with one, the voices and shadows come back. When I do not talk about it, it is as if it has never been a part of my life.

The only other times I have experienced any voices or figures is after the death of a family member. After each one of my grandparents passed, I have always woken up to them on the edge of my bed; both of my grandmothers said it me "it's okay now." However, my grandfather never spoke. He was never too good with his English anyway.

Now, onto the reason why I am seeking out the help of others.

The past two nights, I felt something over top of me while I was sleeping. I would wake up to see a shadow, and quickly run to turn the light on. I tried not to think much of it. I thought maybe it was in my head, which maybe it is?

Tonight is the worst of all nights. I feel like I am five years old again and want to throw myself on the ground and play dead so that they leave me alone.

I fell asleep on my stomach. I awoke an hour later by a cold touch around my neck as if someone was trying to choke me. I rolled over to see the shadow, bigger then any others I have seen before, and I ran out of my room, crying. I told my parents that there was something in my room and I am scared, but they just think I am silly. It is now three hours later and I am absolutely terrified to close my eyes... Not to mention I have to be awake for work in an hour. I am scared just to go to the bathroom by myself.

Can anyone offer me any advice? Any conclusion? Any guidance or direction? Closure? Any input would be appreciated!

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, nikki-dabrows, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

ragefan (4 posts)
9 years ago (2013-05-01)
be careful around spirits like that don't let them get to you instead send them back by command or fight them, a lot choose the first but it dosent always work I know because I have had expereinces when I tell them to leave and they don't so people sometimes ask god or some entity of power, but since my dad, bros and I a 13 year old have strong spiritual energy we fight them well not my bros they're to young and since I have the strongest gifts they tend to visit me a lot so I use my power for protection. So try hard, have determination
And take command.
TheFather (2 stories) (27 posts)
9 years ago (2012-08-13)
Well Nikki Its not impossible for them to harm you. Do you know about people that were burnt to death from fires that harmes only them? I believe that was a demon. They can knock over items and that's the way they can harm you. My advice is don't get it pissed 🤔
Zhabesha (guest)
10 years ago (2011-10-25)
I almost have the same experience as you. I have the feeling of being watched. There is this shadow following me. Sometimes I hear footsteps following me when I am alone on a certain road. I also hear voices callingme. Rarely my vision would change causing things to look small and far. I used to get trapped in my dreams in a room. One time I got the gut to ask it. But, my strength didn't last. The moment I hear a voice, I became reigned by fear. Thus I ran away. All my problem since my first encounter happens to be fear and paying attention. Sometimes I shout when I encounter them as real people. Please contact me and tell me what works out for you. So I would apply it for me. And I am happy to know that I am not the only one
Aaimee (7 posts)
11 years ago (2010-09-28)
You could talk to them and tell them to leave you alone. Your story is similar to what happened to me, and that's what I did. Its very hard to ignore them isn't it? By the way, its a gift...kind-of,you are a medium, and maybe clairvoyant.
nikki-dabrows (2 stories) (6 posts)
11 years ago (2010-09-02)
Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I walked into my bedroom last night when I came home from dinner with a friend and I felt completely indifferent... I felt off. I felt as though I didn't even belong there. I immediately packed my over night bag and went over to my friends house. I woke up numerous times but not to any spirits around me. I'm now home from work and my girl friend told me I could stay with her another night if I'm still uncomfortable. I think I'm going to take her up on that offer because I'm still feeling a little weird-ed out just being here. I had plans to find a paranormal specialist today and speak with them but it seems very costly. Has anyone else ever sought out professional help? This curse/ gift/ ability that I am now trying to learn to cope with is becoming like a second job to me -- without pay, lol.

All of your input has been very helpful to me and I'm planning on sleeping here tomorrow night and practicing on this energy manipulation. I feel that I am however a very weak minded person and I hope that it works. My mind tends to travel in a million directions, especially when I am scared. I cry almost instantaneously.

Once again, thank you SO much... I have a lot to read up on tonight:) You guys are seriously great.
chicken1 (2 stories) (69 posts)
11 years ago (2010-09-02)
They definitely can't hurt you unless you give into their fear and then all they can do is scare you. Remember all they are is energy. You definately need protection from your guides or angels or god or whoever you believe in. Even if you can't see them just know that they are there and they do have a job to do. As our guides or angels can't help us unless we ask for help. Everymorning and evening I ask my guides to keep me safe from anything and everthing that does not need to be by me. Also the sheild of protection is something you should do. I know its really hard but the thing I have found that works for me is to ignore them, The more you fear or yell or pay them attention the more thell stay around. I know exactly how you feel about being scared to, and how you feel like your going crazy. Also before you start trying to communicate with them you must be protected as when you start asking questions from whoevers around you you open your self up to an unknown world. I work as a medium and might be able to help a bit. I'm not her to tell you that you have nasty spirits with you but I might be able to help you get a bit more of a perspective on the spirit world. If you read my story youll see what I had to enure to start off with and if you think I could be of any help just email me any time.
Love and Light
Rain (4 stories) (191 posts)
11 years ago (2010-09-02)
If you can see spirits, you should have no problem with energy manipulation. Imagine a shield made of white light around yourself. You can also imagine a ray shooting towards the entity. Or you can just say, very forcefully and I mean with FORCE. "Leave Now, this is not your home" etc. Anything like that as long as you MEAN it.

Spirits, and other etheric entities can't hurt you unless they are particularly strong. You should be fine, and don't fear them, they should fear you.

Love, Rightous Anger, and Calmness can be used against them.

It's interesting you called it a 'Shadow' if you're interested in these Shadows, please feel free to read my story Shadow Energy and White Light.

Hope I've been some help.

nikki-dabrows (2 stories) (6 posts)
11 years ago (2010-09-01)
Oh I forgot my last question... Can these spirits hurt me? I already felt the strong grip on the back of my neck, but what else are they capable of doing? I never hear of people being murdered by spirits so I guess I'm pretty safe right? It's just trying to scare me?
nikki-dabrows (2 stories) (6 posts)
11 years ago (2010-09-01)
Thank you for you feedback! After the lack of sleep last night, I decided to stay with a friend until I'm comfortable to sleep at home again. I had no problem ignoring the spirits when I was awake, but it's hard to shun it out when they try to grasp my attention at my most vulnerable time or arouse me in my sleep. Someone told me that dark spirits feed off of fear, and I definitely showed my fear last night. I'm working up the nerve to communicate with it... How do I go about it? A woman at work said to get a tape recorder and ask it questions... Then play it back later. Has this worked before? This close encounterment with the spirits is a first for me... I've always seen them at a distance and never had to communicate with them; I was always told to ignore it. I'm just not really understanding what they want from me and why all of a sudden? I'm contemplating seeking help from a doctor.
Lili (111 posts)
11 years ago (2010-09-01)
It is a curse... And a gift... Both at the same time.

There are a few things that can be done.
One - for you to block the ability and start ignoring it the best you can.
Two - try 'asking' these spirits to what they want from you.
Three - protect yourself. Fight back. Make yourself that you can't be harmed.

You have to know what they want from you...

If you got any questions about how to do these ways, or about anything please email me. The email is on my profile.

Watch out.


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