My name is Nikki and I am 22 years old. I am not really sure what category my story belongs in because I have no idea what I am experiencing or why. From the time I was little, I have always felt like I was being watched. I have told many people about this, how I felt like my life was not real; that I was a character on someone's TV screen or in a book. The background information that I am starting off with may or may not have anything to do with my present experiences; I just feel a need to write them as well, just in case it helps with my story, or helps me find closure to what is going on.
From the time I was a toddler until I hit school-age, I would feel a negative force pull me backwards. Though I do not ever remember actually moving, the hallways or rooms--from what I can remember--would seem to be getting bigger and moving farther and farther away from me. I remember one particular experience when I finally had the guts to look behind me and see where it was pulling me. I remember seeing an adult man with an angry face, arms out stretched towards me, motioning for me to come to him. I remember being so scared that I threw myself on the floor, playing dead so he would not attack me. After that, it stopped.
In addition to this, I have always had weird "deja vu." I often think someone's name before they call me, think of a song before it plays on the radio... This could all be coincidental, but it could also help my story. I am just seeking help or direction.
Onto the story...
I think whenever a person is alone in a house by themselves, any small creak in the floor seems louder, voices become more clear, and everything is just much, much more scary. I have never thought twice about the voices I would hear... I have tried covering my ears or turning on the TV or music whenever I would hear footsteps. I told myself that the shadows in other rooms were just my curtains swaying, which is all still possible. But here, I proceed.
I was walking around a farmer's market one day with my five month old son and his father. I passed a psychic stand, smiled, and kept walking. She started to follow me and asked me if she could give me a reading. I kindly told her that I did not have any money and she walked away. I passed her one more time and again she followed me. This time she told me she needed to speak with me alone. I went into her kiosk with her and she told me that there was a dark aura around me. She told me I am cursed and that there are bad spirits following me. I was never scared before she told me any of this. After feeling a little weird about the situation, I started to question her ability, so I left. She made me take her phone number down.
After that, the voices started getting louder and more clear. She had told me never to listen to the voices, so I tried my hardest to drown out the noise. I saw shadows more frequently and would have to shut my eyes tightly so that I would not look. It got to the point where I could not shower in my apartment alone. I was deathly terrified of being by myself. My parents thought it was getting too weird and asked me to please stop talking to her. I did as they asked. After awhile, the voices did not bother me and I did not focus on the shadows.
This was over three years ago. To this day, whenever someone brings up the word "psychic" or has me talking about my experience with one, the voices and shadows come back. When I do not talk about it, it is as if it has never been a part of my life.
The only other times I have experienced any voices or figures is after the death of a family member. After each one of my grandparents passed, I have always woken up to them on the edge of my bed; both of my grandmothers said it me "it's okay now." However, my grandfather never spoke. He was never too good with his English anyway.
Now, onto the reason why I am seeking out the help of others.
The past two nights, I felt something over top of me while I was sleeping. I would wake up to see a shadow, and quickly run to turn the light on. I tried not to think much of it. I thought maybe it was in my head, which maybe it is?
Tonight is the worst of all nights. I feel like I am five years old again and want to throw myself on the ground and play dead so that they leave me alone.
I fell asleep on my stomach. I awoke an hour later by a cold touch around my neck as if someone was trying to choke me. I rolled over to see the shadow, bigger then any others I have seen before, and I ran out of my room, crying. I told my parents that there was something in my room and I am scared, but they just think I am silly. It is now three hours later and I am absolutely terrified to close my eyes... Not to mention I have to be awake for work in an hour. I am scared just to go to the bathroom by myself.
Can anyone offer me any advice? Any conclusion? Any guidance or direction? Closure? Any input would be appreciated!