I have never told anyone most of this because I feel everyone would think I was nuts.
1. I have ALWAYS laid down to sleep and seen a bright, beautiful hue of blue or fuchsia in a pattern of light that swirls and shows figures - sometime doing things, sometimes they are shapes or faces I don't know or have never seen.
2. When I see bright GREEN... It always makes me uneasy and freaks me out to the point I get terrified. I have seen green TWICE...once, the day after my baby brother was killed by being hit by a truck after taking off with his friends and skipping school - he was missing for almost 2 days (he died on day 2). Note: When he was missing - ALL of my siblings were upset and uneasy about it... And not because he took off... But this time seemed more urgent we find him. (so we all knew something bad was going to happen)
3. My entire family (siblings and my mother) has the ability to know something bad is going to happen to someone - via dream. When one of my brothers was in a motorcycle accident (not the brother that passed) - I dreamed it live, in detail as it happened.
4. I think I am now dreaming either ghosts or watching other peoples lives happen. What? I don't even know what I know they are ghosts or that I am watching someone else's life. Sometimes - like last night, I wake up terrified because I know that someone else that is dead is trying to get me to see something. What is that? I thought that was not possible?
Now - here is the kicker. They can talk to me but I can't talk back? How do I talk back? Do I even want to bother?
5. My mother has MANY ghosts on her old farm. I went there on Halloween for a ghost hunting party... It was supposed to be fun. Well, she had this ghost-hunter guy there that was leading everyone to the location of "ghosts". Well, I told my husband - and I felt it strongly - that he was leading them to the wrong places (he was following the words of a "ghost" on some contraption of his - I think it was crap or he was just full of crap). What I experienced... No one else did. Most importantly... I said to my husband... The ghosts that bother her are at that tree (I pointed). He just looked at me funny. Well, he decided to believe me and told my mother and the ghost hunter guy that I thought we should go to that tree. Well, she said, "which tree?" When we told her, the response she gave was staggering: "Oh, there is a HOUSE buried under that tree". (Apparently a construction worker use an old torn down house as filler to fill in a hole in the property). My husband and I were both shocked, to say the least. WHAT? Who buries a house on someone's property? And I NEVER knew that... So how did I select THAT spot -- of her 50 acres (which is full of stables, and trees and pastures) as being the haunted spot?
6. I don't even like to go to graveyards. And not for the normal and obvious reasons. But because I am terrified that ghosts will want to talk to me or I will see things I don't want to see, etc.
The point here is, I have this ability, which is apparently pretty strong - yet no one to talk to about it and I don't know how to control it or stop it or live with it. I hardly sleep, I am tired, I am cranky and I am tired of feeling like I might be nutso.
Please...if anyone can help me hear or direct me in a useful direction -- that would be FABULOUS.