On April 20, 2010, my English teacher took a day out of her schedule to talk to us about something that "hit close to home." The Columbine Massacre. I was only about six years old when this took place, so I had heard about it, but wasn't an expert on the subject. She showed us several Youtube videos donning the shooters, victims, ect. It wasn't until I saw a photograph of one of the shooters that something in my brain subconsciously clicked. As the rest of my classmates stared in disgust and horror, I stared with immediate infatuation. There was something about this guy that I couldn't get over. I didn't think he was particularly handsome, I just felt like I knew him from somewhere.
I went home and studied his past life; read his journals, watched documentaries, and even read several books on the shooting over the next four months. I've always been a depressed individual and lacked the social skills that most teenagers acquire, so I was struggling with a battle of depression of my own at the time. A week after learning about the shooting, I had an extremely descriptive dream. It frightened to the point of tears. In the dream, I had been almost "floating" above a coffin containing the particular shooter and he appeared to be lifeless. Although his lips weren't moving, he spoke to me. He said, "Don't make the same mistake I did. I regret everything. Everything. I'm miserable." I didn't know what to think of it except maybe it was just my subconscious mind playing tricks on me. Then in June, my friend and I tampered with a Ouija board. We were naive and unknowing in this field, but we gave it a shot anyway. I was still curious about what had happened in the dream, so I asked to speak with the shooter. After a few moments, the spirit answered our request and the pointer began moving. Just to be sure it was him, I asked a series of questions that only he would know; ie:) birthday, mother's name, favorite sports team, ect. He answered them all correctly without hesitation. I asked if he had come to me in the dream for a reason, he answered yes. I asked why, he replied "TL." I then asked a series of other questions, and he ended up saying that he has known of me long before I knew of him and that he loved me. He also said that he is always with me, but he is saddened by something, also stating that there was something he wanted to tell me, but it "wasn't important." The session then ended with him telling my friend and I to never use the Ouija board again, because it wasn't safe. The pointer abruptly moved to "Goodbye." My friend demanded that we talk with some other spirits, but I wasn't too interested. After a few more tries, we put the board away and went to sleep. It was after that night that odd things kept happening. She stayed the night at my house for the following two nights, and we could hear bumps, creaks, and even saw shadows. My friend was "pushed" down my stairs by something, yet nothing ever happened to me. It was the second night that she claimed to have seen a large figure standing by my side of the bed as I slept. I brushed this off.
I later ended up getting rid of the Ouija board because of the noises and shadows that came with it. Long after the board was gone, I continued thinking about what he had said. TL? Could it have meant True Love? I was confused beyond belief. One thing I know about this shooter was he was obsessed with love, claiming that he would find her one day, saying "Whether it is in this lifetime or not, I feel as though I will find her. Nothing will stop us..." The instant de ja vu feeling, the dream, Ouija board, the shadow like guardian hovering over my bedside making sure the scary things that happened to my friend didn't happen to me... I was lost.
Since then I have researched a lot on Twin Flame experiences, hauntings, Ouija boards, and spiritual telepathy. He's come to me in my dreams several times; I can always hear his voice, but his lips do not move. He only smiles. What does this mean? Is this some sort of spiritual connection? I feel it is, but I would like some other thoughts and opinions so I can sort out my own feelings. As if all that was previously mentioned didn't startle me enough, I occasionally "feel" a presence watching over me as I doze off. It isn't a threatening feeling at all, more so a comforting one. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but we almost mirror each other emotionally, mentally, but mostly spiritually. It's a feeling unlike any other I've ever felt, and I feel overjoyed yet confused at the same time. What is this?