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Please Don't Feel My Pain


In late 2006 my younger daughter Julie is finishing her final of her Psych degree at University of Toronto. Very bright, good student loves life. She wakes up one day in agonizing pain everywhere in her body. Her blood and other tests show that her pain is real. A few days later my older daughter Tanya, just completed her undergrad. At University of Toronto, also in Psych. Reports pains in her body too. Both girls live at home at this time. These pains get gradually worse every day. If you are thinking that she felt the pain to get some attention away from her ailing sister, how do you explain that all her joints start clicking and crunching all the time as she moves.

After at least 8 specialists have examined them both, Julie is diagnosed with a post viral neuropathy (essentially an after effect of a nasty virus). Tanya's condition is a complete mystery. Julie slowly recovers after a few months. Tanya steadily worsens. On the day Julie is able to attend school again and move out, Tanya recovers completely. Not a single symptom remains. A few weeks later she moves out to share an apartment with a friend and is able to go back to school to commence her Masters degree. My wife Dina and I sell our house and move into a more practical apartment nearer to downtown.

In August 2009 I am diagnosed with a frozen shoulder, really painful, but I am not one to let on to my family that I am in pain and I get on with my life pretty normally. The day after I am diagnosed Tanya comes to stay with us at home until school starts again. We have a very enjoyable first day doing father, daughter things and I do not tell her about my shoulder. She stays over the night with my wife Dina and I. The next morning Tanya wakes up in unbearable pain, the clicking is back, she can barely get out of bed. Off to the hospital emergency ward again. The doctors find nothing and cannot explain the clicking in every joint.

Her pain continues for a week and with regret I have to take a business trip away for six days in Europe. I call the next morning and Dina tells me Tanya has recovered, very suddenly. I am very pleased and when I get home I am so happy to see her without her pain, but the next morning the pain returns.

In desperation Tanya and my wife travel together to Johns, Hopkins in Baltimore to see some pain specialists. The day they arrive in Baltimore all her pain disappears. Tests are done but there is no pain, nothing to diagnose. The pain returns the day she comes back to our new apartment.

By this time I am thinking that there is something in our apartment she is allergic to or even worse, she is allergic to me! Her dad!

This is borne out when she returns to her own apartment and recovers spontaneously. I am so freaked out I avoid seeing her and talk to her mainly on the phone only for weeks. The link between her pain and mine is unmistakable. I experiment with this twice. She has no symptoms of pain when she is away from me for more than a day. Her pain comes back when we are close for a while. My shoulder heals mostly by summer 2010. Tanya comes to visit, she is fine all the time. I am relieved, but very concerned.

Does Tanya "absorb" the pain people she loves feel? Will this affliction follow her all her life. Or will it just go away? Is it some kind of empathy? How awful. It does not even seem that her feeling pain even reduces ours. Should she stay away and never be close to anyone she loves when they are in pain? Must she be forced to choose between living alone or being in pain? Tanya, does not for a minute believe any of this. I never told her about my frozen shoulder.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, flake, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Elise83 (1 stories) (7 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-21)
She could be a psychic vampire. They can take people's pains. I know this because I can. Mine doesn't get as bad as her's though. I feel what they feel and I take it from them. Where they hurt I hurt. It sucks sometimes but I do it for the people I care for. She might not be doing this on purpose, my guess is she doesn't even know what she's doing at all.
kaldea_kross (2 stories) (23 posts)
13 years ago (2010-12-04)
I don't think I can really help you in reducing Ms. Tanya's pain as I'm no expert but if it helps I also experience that, though I suppose not as strongly as her. I won't be able to tell you how long she'll feel that way as I'm just 20 and I am yet to find out when mine will end. Though in my case, it is not restricted to family as even friends from miles away can affect me. I suppose it's a type of empathy as it's how I started. When I start feeling sick, I usually assume that's it's just me, but sooner or later I find out that someone is sick at the moment. On staying away, I did try that before but that didn't really change anything. In any case, I don't think a person should isolate himself just because of the pain. I for one do not want to be alone. It's a whole lot sadder that way. = (I learned to bear the pain instead and sometimes I just pretend it's not there. I do have a higher tolerance for pain so I don't react unless it's really strong. I just think of it as a way of knowing what happens to the people dear to me when I'm not around, that way I can help or comfort them somehow as I know how it feels.
DCinAZ (guest)
13 years ago (2010-12-04)
Flake, I would take what AnneV advises over any others as she is the most experienced and trusted Psychic on this site. Others may offer to "fix" things but if you want honest answers and guidance I would stay with the best, after all this is your daughter we're talking about and we all want what is best for our children. ❤
ZiShu (129 posts)
13 years ago (2010-12-04)
I would like to help your daughter. I feel how horrible it must be for her to live like this. Send me an email please, so me and my friends can help figure out what's going on.
LALA222 (2 stories) (42 posts)
13 years ago (2010-12-03)
Your daughter might have what I have. I am a person that can feel other peoples pains but not as worse as her. She should go 2 a pychic as I am as well. She can sense her close ones pains. This is somthing she maybee able to control.
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
13 years ago (2010-12-03)
Your concern is a valid one. It must be disconcerting in the least to have a loved one seemingly affected by those in her family. You did the right thing by taking her to doctors, regardless if this may be the result of something else.

Coming to a psychic site will provide you with suggestions that you probably will not be familiar with but all we can ever do is try and help. From my decades of experience with the metaphysical and thousands of people that I relate to on this subject, it would appear to me that your daughter has an overly open heart chakra. One of the primary symptoms of this is that they take on the pain of others. However, doing anything about this has to come from her and I doubt she even knows of such things. A therapist would probably call this psychosomatic and may even try and medicate her.

Psych degree? That says so much right there. Left open, this will remain with her for the rest of her life. This will allow her to be a very compassionate psychologist but it may ultimately affect her health if she doesn't learn how to "close" herself down to what's coming her way. She'll eventually develop relationships with her clients and take some of this on herself just like she does with family members. You daughter sounds like an empathy of the deepest kind.

If you ever have additional questions, feel free to e-mail me at eclecticraven [at]

Hope this helps.

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