For the longest time, clairvoyant people, and psychics have told me I have a gift. I'm not entirely sure of this myself, but I question it. They say my energy is so strong, but I don't understand it. I ask people, and they say that my lifestyle weakens my sensitivity. I drink sometimes, and I smoke marijuana, and I used to do more, just to escape from everything, and I have chronic insomnia. But, I can see things. I see colors and shadows of things that aren't there, I can sense when things will happen, or when/when not to do something. I have this calming effect on everyone, and when they have problems, it's almost as if I suck away all the negative energy. But it puts such a large amount of stress on me, and I become so drained and weak after I help. I used to self injure to keep me sane. Someone said I'm like the Vasilisa from Vampire Academy, which is weird. With all the things I see, and everything that I've experienced, I don't know if I'm truly gifted, or just insane. I've dealt with depression because of what I can feel. I feel things that aren't there, I can see spirits of people who are deceased, or will doe soon, and I always get these weird feelings before something happens, like a drive-by or something else. I used to chalk it up to paranoia, I wish I could explain more, but the character limit refuses to let me post too much, as you all know. I have had weird things happen to me since I was little, about 3 or 4 years old. If someone in Pre-k made me mad, a rock would fly at them, or they'd fly off of a swingset, and whenever I'm upset now, the weather matches it. I've tried explaining to people I trust before, but they think I'm weird, or try to put me in therapy sessions. I don't get it. I just really NEED to know, am I gifted like everyone says, or am I just crazy?