Greetings, community: I can't express my relief in discovering a place to share my experience and ask for insight! I am not alone anymore!
Over the course of the past two years I've started to become more aware of my psychic abilities. Like the snowball effect, my awareness is rapidly growing. I don't know what the future holds for me but I welcome it. I would greatly appreciate any guidance as I this process unfolds.
About me: I am a 25 year old female who recently moved to New England. I'm studying to become a holistic counselor and art therapist, though I would like to learn to use my gifts in this field.
Two years ago, I started seeing lights and shadows. Flashes of light - different colors and corresponding energies. As an empath, I also sensed a feeling when I saw the flashes of light. White and gold were higher, positive. Black shadows felt foreboding and negative. They can be tiny or very large. Only twice have they taken form, and those were powerful black shadows. One became a form of a person, the other was a huge red form of an evil person in a robe riding a creature over a hotel. That was pretty frightening.
I used to see the lights once a week, now I see them multiple times a day. I don't know what they are yet. Spirits? Auras? Manifestations of emotion?
There are some patterns that I have yet to understand. During my last argument with my parents (which was very traumatic and has since been reconciled), I saw a black shadow appear in the space between us and travel over our heads. When I'm speaking with a friend and we're "connecting", I see blue bursts of light. What are these?
I have seen auras twice so far - once a pink light enveloping the head of my professor during class. Later she revealed that she is a fellow empath. Then another time, I saw the crown chakra of a friend as she lay down on the floor.
I've been fortunate to experience incredibly vivid dreams my entire life. Sometimes I lucidly dream. I've also dreamt about places and events before they happen, usually several months in advance. I believe I also astral project in my dreams to visit friends and other places.
Once time, I became "lost" when I did this. In the dream, I became afraid because I did not know where I was. I was standing on the top of a hill overlooking a city. I called out to my brother, who appeared in the dream driving a blue Toyota coupe. Then he took me back to my body. It is still comical the cliché of him "picking me up" in a car.
In my dreams, I am frequently visited by the same person. When I am with him it feels like he is a best friend - a companion. But oddly, he changes form. The feeling is always the same but his appearance is usually different - sometimes he can be young or old, black or white, and has even changed appearance before me in the dream. He usually appears and then we hang out in the dream. It strangely feels like I'm dating him! I don't think he is an angel, because I've dreamt of one and that person felt different. He definitely is or was human, but what is he? Is this someone I'll meet in real life? Is this a soul mate who passed away prematurely? Is this a guardian spirit? It's perplexing.
In the past month, my ability to feel the energies of other living things has increased phenomenally. I may have had this ability for a long time, but it is only recently that I am sensitive and open enough to perceive it for what it is.
I can't control whether I am "on" or "off", as I like to put it. It seems to pick up more when the moon is full and when I wear certain jewelry (quartz crystals). Though I love that I can feel bubbling joy from a puppy and tell how my houseplants are doing, it feels more alienating when I'm around people. When I'm "on", I can feel love coming from an acquaintance when she talks about her upcoming wedding. I can feel joy when a stranger recalls a pleasant experience. But when this happens, I also sometimes get a strange look from them. When I focus on another person, they sometimes appear frightened and move away. It's like they can tell I'm doing something and don't like it. What's happening when I do this?
Finally, I can usually feel the energy points in my palms. When I'm on (like right now) I can feel the energy coming out of them. When I'm describing something and waving my hands in the air, I feel a trail of energy. I also felt the physical pain my friend was experiencing in her back as a hot, prickly unpleasant feeling. What is going on with my hands?
Once again, I appreciate any guidance, explanation or theories. I'd really like to understand some of these nuances and find others like me.