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Spiritual Gifts Gone Forever?

 

What am I? Am I even human? Do I still possess the many spiritual gifts that I was born with, or are they gone forever?

I'll start off with a few minor details about myself. I'm 18 years old, and in a sense a tad bit inexperienced with all of this.

I literally feel like I'm not a member of the human race, in fact the only way that I can make sense of myself is if I think of my self as an alien, or creature, or a human-hybrid.

I was born with a lot of spiritual gifts. As a young child I was extremely spiritually in tune. I had a few demonic and possibly angelic (though I'm not sure it could have been a demon disguising itself as an angel of light) visitations. I had a prophetic gift (dreamt about the world trade center attack two weeks before it happened ect). I'm extremely intuitive. I'm definitely without a doubt an empath; but at the moment quite possibly an "empath gone bad".

I feel like I may have lost some of my gifts. Growing up I got into drugs and alcohol, I've also had issues with mental illness. I've had a lot of very traumatic experiences in my life. I'm now on an anti-depressant and anti-psychotic. I feel like these things have either gotten rid of my gifts or clouded them.

On very rare occasions I see my prophetic gift but it's very dull. A lot of times my intuition kicks in but it's sometimes hard to tell it apart from my paranoia.

I'm currently clean of drugs and alcohol, and eventually plan to see a naturopath doctor to get prescribed to supplements rather than take medication. Hopefully that will balance out every cycle in my body. Will my gifts come back or are they gone forever?

I've always known I was different. I took the myers-briggs personality test and apparently I am an INFJ (feel free to google). INFJ's are an extremely rare breed. Only 1% of the population has this personality type, making it the rarest out of 16 different personality types. INFJ's are known for their intuition, empathy, and "psychic" abilities, which is extremely different from all the other personality types.

I am a follower of Jesus, and though I find New Age very interesting I try to steer clear of it. But I don't doubt that there are probably a few seeds of truths in it. (don't let the Christian part intimidate you, I'm extremely open-minded and desperate for answers from all different types of perspectives).

I should probably also add that I had my first (and only) lsd trip a little less than a year ago. I had a very intense spiritual awakening. About a week later, I know for a fact that I was demon possessed. That also tied in with a psychotic break, so I believe that there was a definite mental/physical aspect, along with a spiritual aspect. I'll just say in short, I'm lucky to be alive. [Also there are a few other times that I definitely should have died, but some how am miraculously still here].

I'm a broken person, with a whole lot of questions and confusion. I would GREATLY APPRECIATE a mentor. And I need to learn how to channel my gifts, if I even still possess them.

Feel 100% free to ask for any details about anything that may help you to provide me with some answers.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, 6feet, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

hellwyr (21 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-23)
if you can do it, try to find a light in yourself, if you can feel it in yourself you have to do to follow it (sounds easy, but it may be hard)

Sorry about the 2012, thought I read it in your text O.o its late so I mixed it withanother text...
hellwyr (21 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-23)
sounds like a common story to me
First of all every human has spiritual "power"... Its only natural to lose them as todays society deny it unless you are born somewhere in the woods.
Typical that you are very religious and try to avoid drugs and alcohol... That's a typical behaviour resulting from a traumatic experience...
Let me ask you do you think you are happy if you get all your spiritual gifts back? Or what you really want is just health and feel good? Intuition is also human basic...
You only can FEEL differently because you are human...

Last but not least I know its useless for you what I am saying now, but Religion makes everything worse in your situation, what you need right now is a life, are you alcoholic if not find some friends zo hang out with (and train to be yourself while you can have fun and be with other "beeings"), go into the forests hiking...etc, create a routine... Dont do any religious fanatic crap, don't read the 2012 crap if you can't handle it (obviously the same goes for alternative media)... Try to find a way to be independent (I mean really independent in all aspects independt from your beloved doomsday fear crap)
SkyRealm (5 stories) (65 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-20)
Honestly, I wish I had a mentor too. But unfortunatly, you don't find many open pschics where I'm from. I'm pretty sure you'll be fine without one too, but keep searching.
And look closer at your life, from what I read, its slowly getting to that's sunny place called stable... Though there will always be hiccups. Just chill and don't worry! When you feel alone, just remember God... I'm a very God-Loveing person. No religious preferences, but God's awsome! 😆
SkyRealm (5 stories) (65 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-20)
Im not human! No seriously, I'm not. 😆 Though I kind of am, but let's not dwell on that. First off, "human" is a very broad term! This may seem strange but you are human, you can say a different breed. You could be an Indigo child. I pretty much feel like I belong to a different dimention. But hey, were all here for a reason, let's make the best of it. I am an empath, some of the time, I can predict the future (unintentionally) and was clarvoyent (though somethings fuzzy with that) Though I've had voices in my head (that sounds crazy, but hey!) for so long, it seems normal! I'm not very powerful and have just discovered these gifts, so I may be of no help whatsoever, but I hope I can atleaste incourage you! I am parinoid, by the way. What I do to keep myself unparanid, is pray so hard that th bad thing I'm paranoid about doesn't happen. (like I'm paranoid that my puppy will die or something) I always suddenly start feeling calm, and my spirit guide will always tell me if I'm being paranoid or if its a premonition.

I learned that depression, psycosis etc can be caused by demonic entities... I had depression when I was 13, and when I look back I distinctly remember a voice coxing me to hurt myself. I thought that was usual, since I had voices since I was a kid and thought it was part of an active imagination. Apparently it wasn't. I was lucky, my spirit guide saved me. Many aren't as lucky, and have to save themselves.

As for alcohol and drugs, they tap into a part of your mind that can in fact cloud your psychic vission... As can caffine. I actually drank a lot of caffeen during my exams so I could put the "psychic stress" to rest and focus on studdies. Its effects though will ware off with time. As for my clarvoyance going funny, my guide tells me to give it time and stop trying so hard. So its not a side effect, your powers won't just dissappear. Your medication also hampers psychic abilities. It blocks them...well...some do, I'm not sure about your own.

What you could try to do is meditate, and clean out your aura. Work with crystals, though I personally don't since I am 16, live with my non-believing "will think I'm insane" parents, it really helps. I get highly attracted to certain stones and crystals I find on the beach, and I just found out that they can drastically help your energy. I use mine to make barriers against evil entities. Id suggest you also create a sort of barrier before you sleep to keep out demons or whatever they are, they gave me a scare, but a good barrier keeps them out. I have noticed (for me) an easy and potent barrier is one where you imagin God (Jesus for you) Keeping his hand on your head and saying- "God is by my side, no one can harm me" Imagin a soft white light around you and keep God in your thoughts. Dont let anything distract thoes thoughts. Best barrier ever. (though everyone has a different barrier so find one your comfortable with)

Im sorry if I'm not much help, but I can promise you one thing, things will turn brighter for you! Its my "fortune telling" for you, all you have too do is smile. I have a feling your a girl and somethings going to happen with a boyfriend... I could be wrong, trust me, either I'm really accurate of completly off! 😆
Laughter is the best medicine, so keep smileing!

Please forgive the spelling mistakes, I'm also dyslexic, and loveing it! =P
PathR (4 stories) (1266 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-20)
6feet, Kenneth E Hagin has a few books that teach
Type of prayers, and authority.
The Believers authority-is a good starter!
Lester Sumrall has Demonology and deiverance.
But one should get the basics before getting Lester's
Book.

Just bear in mind there are many ways to do the same
Thing.

Good journey
6feet (guest)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-18)
Rook~ I'll definitely be getting back to you, I appreciate the offer for help.

Whisper1313~ Feel free to shoot me an email ricebaby1 [at] rocketmail dot com. I'm sure we could have some great conversations.

PathR~ Ironically I go to a non-denominational christian church. Many of the members do believe in gifts of the spirit, but it's full of many different types of people. I believe in oppression and possession, I was oppressed most of my life, then I got possessed and it almost took my life. I'd be interested to hear what books you have in mind.

I would also like to add one strange physical characteristic I possess. My hands are completely flat, under the fingers right above the palm where most everyone has a slight raise or bump. It is completely flat and almost looks like my hands are webbed at first glance. I've not been able to find any information on google about this.

Thanks guys 😁
PathR (4 stories) (1266 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-18)
6feet may I ask what demomination you practice for
Christianity?
There's a few books out there but this will depend
On your beliefs.
Depending on the demonination of christianity: there is a belief in possession and also oppression.

There are different things you can do as a christian.
And a mystics as Madam Guyan practiced as a catholic, Paul Apostle had an OBE.

AnneV said a whole lot and I just wish to add.
For there are beliefs that there are hybreds among
Humans. The difference is the brain is different, but
Could be seen in a Scan of the brain and many of these people are in government. Food for thought!
There's also other theories our Dna is not all human and has been tampered with.
To many these thoughts are not believable and to others against their faith and heresy.
whisper1313 (1 stories) (3 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-18)
lol...yes I think we might be from the same planet (wonder what it is called), actually I am pretty sure you and I are the same except I am 15 years older... It's strangely amazing to hear how much your story mirrors mine almost to the "T". Yes, I even had some history of drug use, although my abilities heightened during that time of use I quit fairly quickly after I began because it took my abilities to a darker plane of existence in which I do believe I saw and spoke to Satan or a form of him; either way it was scary and what I was shown was horrific and I quit using shortly after. I have been a guinea pig for pharmaceutical companies since I was very young, but within the last year and a half and with help from a homeopathic doctor I have learned to manage my depression without the use of "numbing agents". The only advice I can give (note that it worked for me it doesn't always work for everyone especially if your not opened to it) get with a homeopathic doctor who can slowly get you off the man made "numbing agents" as I like to call them because they do impair your abilities. I would add that it was a hard road for me getting off those medications because my empath abilities were extremely overwhelming and near uncontrollable for a good 6 months, but with the doctor's help I learned some discipline. However, I would not suggest you quit taking any medications without a doctor. Some homeopathic doctors can be expensive but well worth the money to clear your head and get you focused so your abilities become more focused. Anyway, keep in touch let me know how things are going I am eager to find out where your journey is and has taken you.
RookDygin (5 stories) (324 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-18)
6feet,

Anne has really covered the basics, you've been down a hard road but seem to have 'adjusted your headlights' and are finding your way out of the darkness.

Everyone's Journey is different, and as individuals we handle situations differently... This is our Free Will at work... I do have to agree with Anne when she says your abilities are still there, just dulled by 'outside influences'. I would like to offer you my help... Please feel free to ask any questions you may have... Look at my profile, read my experiences and ask any questions you may have, I'll be more than happy to answer them to the best of my ability.

Respectfully,

Rook
6feet (guest)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-18)
whisper1313, for a long time I've felt like a rare breed looking for my own kind. It's refreshing to hear that I'm not alone. Maybe we're from the same planet 😉
whisper1313 (1 stories) (3 posts)
 
10 years ago (2011-05-18)
Wow. When reading this I felt as if I wrote it, at least parts of it. I can relate to you and I too am an INFJ, as well believe and follow God, and have faced many of the same problems. Although I haven't any answers for you because I am going through a lot of the same things, sometimes it is good to know that there are others out there with similar characteristics. I don't feel as lost or "alien-like" now knowing I am not the only one.
AnneV (4 stories) (1063 posts) mod
+1
10 years ago (2011-05-17)
Your gifts are not gone forever (that in itself is impossible). They often take a back seat when our lives are in over-drive but by the looks of it, you're getting things back in order. You say you're confused but you're sober, seeking a naturopath doctor, had a spiritual awakening, conscious of your gifts and so on. I'd say for 18 you're doing just fine. Life isn't meant to be obvious and easy.

New age is just a label. Forget about that. How many Christians have had psychic experiences, visions, channeled spirits and premonitions? Plenty. The bible is full of those stories. It is natural to us all, not just "new agers". We are spirit living in a physical body to experience the physical realm to spiritually evolve.

There is plenty of material out on the web (even some articles here that I've posted under the articles section) on how to increase your psychic ability. Meditation, crystal use, working with your chakras, etc.

If a person does not look at this state of this world and feel some madness then they are more crazy than your average 'crazy' person. The world is going to hell in a hand-basket and we should all be concerned over the current state of affairs (I wrote an article on this site stating "Spirituality is all that remains" because the rest is hosed or soon will be.

You and your life are not broken. It's your thoughts about you and your life that are broken. You are exactly where you need to be at this point in your life. It is unfolding at the rate it should be which is perfect for you.

Maybe your DNA is not entirely human. If it isn't, this will start coming to you in dreams and perhaps even a visit. If you want particulars (which are probably too "fringe" even for this site) then feel free to e-mail me at eclecticraven [at] yahoo.com.

Be well.
Anne

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