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I Feel Like There Is More To Me

 

Everything started back when I was about 10/11. I'd recently moved house and school which I was beginning to consider normal due to the amount of times my mum had moved me before. This time however I was moved into a Catholic school. I have the distinct memory of playing a game with my friend and we stood on the sloped corner of the play ground. I was holding onto this odd tree which was there, all of it was by the side of a Mary statue. They used to have prayer there (which I was excused from if I wished as I am and was an atheist) and all I can remember is another friend coming up to us and asking what we were playing and without me saying anything the friend beside me said we were listening to people asking for help. The reason I remember it was because it's exactly what I could hear in my head; people, just random people asking for help. Every time I think back to it I cry, they sounded so helpless.

That was the first sign of me beginning to think there was more to me but I didn't realize it until a few years later.

Going forward, the next sign of something was my new bedroom, I had been given the box room and on the inside door handle was deep scratches, mum suggested it would have been a ferret or something odd like that, but it was like nothing I'd ever seen before. It was one of many things which disturbed me within the room. Every night I'd find myself waking to look at it, it stirred my thoughts constantly to the point where I couldn't sleep. About a week of little naps at night I suddenly fell into a deep sleep, mum said it would happen as that's what your body does but when I woke up, something was so different, there was a crevice in the quilt, it was quite large, as if a fat person had sat down for hours. The reason I assume it wasn't just a co-incidence of my moving within my sleep is because the rest of the bed sheets were smoothed out just like when I went to sleep and I hadn't moved judging by the fact I was in the same position as I fell asleep in. As far as I know this was before the tree incident but everything is very hazy as at the time I didn't pay much attention to it all.

I know at the moment it just sounds like I'm just mentioning lots of random things but I do feel they are all connected, I just don't know how.

Another point to bring up is that I am more empathic than I feel is normal. Especially recently. I find if I see anything in pain I feel the need. Actually more of a pull to help. That sounds so over-dramatic but I feel it inside, like someone is grabbing my core and edging me towards whatever is in need. Yet I refrain, I can't help everything and I refuse to if people are watching.

I know that sounds selfish but I once mentioned to my friends about some strange dreams I'd been having since I was 12, I was about 14 when I told them. I had previously told the same friend from the tree when I was 12 but she had kept it to herself and almost forgot about it. When I told them, they expected me to prove myself and I wanted to but I felt blocked, like the special feeling was gone when I dreamed. I then had to trust my instinct, I told them something I had felt prior to the block and it did come true but as I almost expected, they wanted more. I tried to carry on, loving the emotions I could feel radiating off them, they were so hopeful. But I had lost it, inside I knew, in my heart. I, however refused to acknowledge it until after I had fallen out with them over something. I can remember crying and not over the lost friendship (which is restored now) but over the fact I had lost my special dreams of things happening in the near future because I told people I shouldn't.

That is why I refuse to help in ways I wouldn't consider normal in front of others.

I know I can help as well, for years I have taken other people's negative feelings, I know because I'd comfort them physically (whether a hug or just a touch) and I would feel horrid and they would feel much better. I believe I gained this due to my mother. She would try to hide her sadness and I would hug her, even as a very young child, and then run to my bedroom to cry and I hear her not 10 minutes later singing as she turned on the radio and carried on with her day.

I also found when my friends had minor pain, like sore hands after an exam I would ask if I could help and I'd know where to press and hold on their hands to make it better. I would always have to use both hands though, and I was picky with who I would help. If I didn't feel right I didn't offer.

I'm pretty sure what I've just said is all broken and not entirely connected but all I'm wondering is there something more or am I just assuming things from old memories? Inside I feel there is more but I have been doubting myself.

If anyone can offer a viewpoint I would be eternally grateful.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Poldora, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

Poldora (2 stories) (3 posts)
 
12 years ago (2011-12-28)
[at] chenae, no I didn't feel hot and prickly, I feel as though I woke too late, and the imprint was just left behind:) and I'm very glad it has helped:D
[at] sheila, that sounds wonderful, I zone out a lot and I hear more when I do so as since the age of 8 I've meditated, I didn't know it at the time that I was meditating my mum's friend tried to get me to relax. I don't think my friend has any sort of gift and if she does I suspect it is very small but she didn't overuse me, I respected her for that.
Shelia (5 stories) (34 posts)
 
12 years ago (2011-12-28)
i was going threw the same thing for some time actually my abilities activated when I met this girl in my high school it was like she had immediatally clinged to me I didn't know fo a while but she was a superpoerful medium and it kind of scared me when she freaked out sometimes or like zoned out when she "talked" to them I would catch her whispering all the time but this is way afer we had told each other now to my example of what happeneded to me at first they where psychic as I have mentioned before to these various other people and then they evolved to something else actually from time to time I have actually been caught zoning out at a ghost or begin able to hear a voice or two but usually its only like in a woodland forrest or if theyve got energy to borrow or when its really quite and my other friend and I are reasearching a ghost in the library for our medium friend
chenae (2 posts)
 
12 years ago (2011-12-28)
wow reading this has been really helpful for me, I have had similar things happen, mostly the shape in the bed sheets, once I was laying awake at night restless and I thought my cat had jumped on the end of my bed, I sat up to pat him and nothing was there but a round imprint in my blanket as if something was sitting there, did you feel hot and prickly all over?
Poldora (2 stories) (3 posts)
 
12 years ago (2011-12-27)
First and foremost, thank you. It's almost a pleasure to know I'm not pulling dots together to make a picture so to speak. The scratches I only mentioned as it's what caused my deep sleep and then to find the perfect crevice. I know they were from an animal of some sort.
I hope to never lose what I have but I don't know how to make it stronger or how to use it most effectively.
I do have a fair few questions to which I shall ask shortly.
Again Thank You:)
spookvanger (13 stories) (137 posts)
+1
12 years ago (2011-12-27)
Hi Loren! You are clairaudient, in other words you can hear spirit voices. The voices you heard are from people who have passed into spirit life, but in their ignorance don't realise it. They are in a strange environment, don't know what has happened to them, and are asking for help.
When you feel a need to help someone who is in need, do so. If you don't, you will loose your psychic abilities and stifle your spiritual development. The empathy you feel for others is a God given gift which you must use as it can turn into the ability to do healing. (Jesus was an empath among other things, and the Bible tells you that he cried.) To help your fellow man is the highest offering you can bring to the Creator.Remember: "Whatsoever you do unto them, you have done unto Me"
I am unable to comment on the scratches on your door as well as the crevice in your quilt, as these are physical.
Should you need to know more about earthbound spirits, go to my profile. (spookvanger)
Any questions, don't be shy, I will answer to the best of my ability, and if I don't know I will tell you so.
God bless

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