When I was younger, my family loved having barbeques. And I mean loved. Considering I'm Mexican and Mexicans are notoriously carnivorous, it seemed normal.
The flames of the barbeque were made through burning coal and I was always fascinated by those flames. I would raise my hands towards the fire only to feel them immediately warm up from the heat underneath. I never thought of it anymore, I just knew they would almost always hit my palm (various blisters from burns, I kid you not).
I decided one day to randomly try to control the fire. I don't know why, I just did. I saw the fire and I started concentrating on what it meant: how it felt, how it would rise, how it would fall, how it would change but still be fire. I stood about six feet away and raised my arm. The fire rose. I lowered it. The fire fell. I never knew what to make of it. I would sometimes practice this at church (my family is devoutly catholic) on the candles and watch them rise.
I decided to show my family members this talent. They didn't understand. They thought it was witchcraft and immediately told me to stop. They said the "devil" had given me something dangerous and that I should never pay attention to it. So, I stopped practicing.
I am currently battling depression and as part of treatment, I decided to reflect on my past. The first image that appeared into my mind was on controlling that fire and how I felt. I felt powerful and strong, unique yet completely alone. I decided to practice controlling fire again and it felt so natural. Yet, how did this happen?
I don't understand. I thought maybe it was due to my zodiac sign, but I'm a Taurus. I thought maybe it was because I was hot-headed, but I'm the most patient person I know. What strikes me more odd is that I am deeply fascinated with mermaids and all water life. I've always wanted to be a mermaid when I was young yet my affinity for fire completely juxtaposes this.
Side note: While my family is Catholic, I do believe in multiple deities and I'm still searching for what is right for me. Any input is greatly appreciated.