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My Mom's Story

 

I am telling this to just accept it I think. It's true. Worked in sales. Had sold something my first day. Had always sold. I was helpful without being pushy - that's what people said anyway. Then, things looked funny to me one day. I felt change. For a week didn't sell a thing, at all. My sales manager got concerned and one day talked to me. I told him something was wrong - very wrong - too scared to think about it. That very day went home and the answering machine was blinking.

It was my older brother. My mom was in the hospital, but not serious. He would let me know. I knew. Booked a plane ticket and called the husband at work. Our three children were young.

Went home and the docs and nurses told us she needed surgery, serious, but she would be okay. I felt doubtful. A ward clerk, I remember she looked at me, and told me my mom was very sick. I knew it.

Well, my mom always knew how I was. Surgery was her only hope of living. She never asked me. I almost told her not to have surgery and let go naturally, but she never asked. The night before her surgery was scary. I told her, sitting in a chair in the corner, that I would read until she fell asleep. I was reading, then felt something. My dad had been gone for years, but I felt him. Didn't look up - left them alone. When I felt he was gone, phoned the husband crying. Told him that I was going to lose her - why else would my dad be there.

Well they were wheeling her in for the operation and she looked at me scared. It was her choice. I felt she wanted something from me. I wanted to say, "No! Don't go!" But it was her only hope. I gave her a thumbs-up signal, thinking, "You liar. She won't make it..." That haunts me.

She made it through surgery with complications, barely made it. During, my brother asked, optimistically, "Do you think mom will be okay?" I couldn't lie. I just looked away. He understood. She went to intensive care afterwords for almost 6 wks. They had to do dialysis, but her blood pressure dropped too low. Nine specialists with her. I just asked them if if could sit in the corner. Then she was okay.

After that, twice a week, they called me in when they did it. Finally she got well enough to go to a private rm. I had to go home. Couldn't stay forever. The husband, his father was there too also to help, was tired. Flew home. Washed clothes and repacked. Told my boss wasn't going back to work; if they had to let me go it was okay. They didn't. My boss knew early something was wrong. Told my husband and boss my mom would do badly again. Repacked. In five days got that call that she was crashing so flew back. She was stable and back in intensive care.

There is more, but this is too long. Sorry. We lost her after another four weeks. My husband said that if he had realized that she might die, he would have gone there and taken the kids. I told him that I had told him. Felt a little anger. But she did not want them to see her that way. It was best.

I felt horrible for years about that thumbs-up. Still feel and see it. She went through a lot, not terrible, but bad. Now, I realize, it was her choice and live with it. Still, I kept hearing myself saying, "Liar, stop her..." I guess I just want to control everything.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, GlendaSC, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-19)
TY Flutter. I read on the Spiritual Site how you chose your name. I've always wondered a little because it sounded like it had a meaning. Very neat!
Flutterofwings (28 stories) (257 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-18)
I use to brush things off all the time with the psychic alibilities that I have, but seems the more I did that, the more things happened. LIke to tell me it's still there and getting stronger. It is nice to have a site like this to let it all out and not have people think I am crazy or laugh at it. And there are so many people in this site of the psychic that are so helpful with ideas how to improve the "gift" we have.
This was a very good story that will go into my favorites.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-18)
Quickly before the guys get back, have to tell you a true thing. Had a woman, she had a college degree, actually ask me when she found out that Arkansas was my original state, if it's true there aren't many paved roads. I was stunned. She was serious. I said, no, hmm, not true at all. I can think of eight or ten right off... She looked a little dazed and said, "Oh..." My sister in law in Chicago use to be like that. Once I was driving in Chicago traffic and waiting for someone to let me out in a busy place. She said, You aren't in Arkansas. People aren't going to let you out here. Two seconds later a car stopped and did. I gave the little polite wave. Told her that person must have been from AR too.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-18)
Sorry Martin. I didn't mean to fuss, but was tired and recently had a woman who works with the husband do the talking down thing to me. Bit my tongue. My husband thought it was funny. He said that I was purplish blue. The kids are out of school tomorrow so have three over tonight. They've been playing computer games but taking a food break. Another one. I paid for a movie earlier, but tomorrow they are raking my yard some to pay me back. Sorry again.
Martin (128 posts) mod
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
GlendaSC, there were no offense intended, I wasn't talking down to you of course, I did say *if* it's over your head, because per my experience on these paranormal sites, most people aren't technically inclined, and I didn't want to appear cryptic with long technical talks, so I just got to the point that there was extra challenges to setting up a discussion board on this site. I'm a bit afraid that if we had one of those, people would start ignoring the stories too. There are a few things to consider before making that decision.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Martin - - - honestly wrote seven timnes to finally send the last one. I do appreciate your time. Honestly, nothing you do will ever be over my head. Bet on it. When my corporation got its first desk top computer, it went to my desk. Before, computers were in rooms. No one dared. I took it on and figured it out. Didn't love it, but did it. When formatting disks that meant knowing DOS. There were lots of bugs. Wrote them down. Fixed the maintenance departments computers later when they messed up. LOTUS 123 was locked. Unlocked and copied it to see if I could. Took hours, three. Now might be over my head, but only because I've not read about it...Don't talk down to me. Now might take me a whole day. We're more advanced maybe. Love your site.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Martin - IT WAS HOLLI'S IDEA! Ban her! Ban KFC and Taco Bell too! Goofing you know.

Just being silly - tired. Your site is great. We all appreciate it. Most psychic sites want money and ypu to take their classes to be psychic. If your honestly psychic and just looking, it can be frustrating. I like to think about sites a little. Someone else wiser may write, but I'll write back either way. Count on it.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Hello Martin - Thanks. I had a funky feeling you would show up to a direct challenge. Still trying to see you direct on. Not easy. You're not a whimp and fighting me I think. This isn't the first time I have started to write you. I'm being careful... I might be a girl but not a whimp either.
Martin (128 posts) mod
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Hi GlendaSC, I'm glad you appreciate this site. Yes, the internet has made it possible for people with the rarest interest or trouble to discuss about it, and I'm sure this is a good thing. The world is opening up to itself and close minded communities may be threatened.

As for the board, I have deliberated about it every now and then. With those sites, I wanted to give people their moment under the spotlight to express their paranormal experiences and to keep the focus on providing assistance or just giving feedback, all in a very supervised system where no one can screw up the community. I think it works pretty well, and the quality of stories and comments is generally superior to most other boards out there (well, that's what I feel). I'm all for quality over quantity.

There's also the other point that discussion boards require a lot of moderating if you want to keep it civil and I'm not sure I'd have the time to do that. That's why I opted instead for a chat room as an alternative for those who need to chit chat about stuff not related to the stories per se.

Still, it makes me think. Of course it would be a lot of work at first installing something like that and I'd have to configure it to use the current in house user management system (sorry if that's over your head, just to say there are many technical challenges for such a thing, more so than a brand new site). It wouldn't be done in a few days, and I'd have to juggle with my real work.

If I see a real need in the future, for sure I'll go for it. I think, meanwhile, the current formula is working pretty well. Not perfect, but above average.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Martin - this site has helped me remember and face a lot. In my generation, this was not good, being sensitive, (at all) you know. Younger people might not understand that. We didn't have computers then either. I remember getting our company's first personal computer because I could make things work. Computers before that filled a room and had cards. I am still not horribly ancient, though I hope it happens later, but the change happened quickly. Not even 50 yet. We need a message board. Almost e-mailed you. Decided to write it out here, open, instead. We pay you well. Well, we don't a cent, but it's not all about money - is it? Of course, food is a good thing. Is a message board hard to do? If it is, work on your day job. It's fine either way.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Gypsy - It was neat you said that about the parents' relationship. Everyone tells their story who knew them when they want a love story. I won't bore you with it. I've never seen or heard one before equal, even in the movies. Fact is stranger than fiction.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Gypsy - A question if you have time. Lately, I've thought just a little about telling a few close friends just a few easy things. I know they wonder, but I never say, oh, well have always felt things or anything. Once had a very best friend, Carmen. She was religious, as I am, and saw me do a few things and laughed. So I relaxed more around her. It was cool. She thought it was neat. Then on the way home, there was a wreck. We had CPR together and I had to stop. Felt it. She didn't want to, others were there. Well, a woman was screaming that the man wasn't breathing, and no pulse, did anyone know CPR? No one else seemed to. Carmen froze. I went over and checked quickly and nothing. Found his sternum and said, outloud, Please God don't let me kill him. Scared too death. Hoped I didn't push too hard and break his sternum or too easy and not help him. Well the words came out, then he gasped for air, shook, and sat up. I like to think it was a coincidence. Who knows? I looked over at Carmen. That night, knew I'd lost my best friend. Saucer eyes. She'd seen too many other things and didn't think this one was funny. Perhaps it was just that it was raining and I had mud on me and blood and probably looked bad. I was very sad. We still got together, but she was very withdrawn. Eventually quit hanging out together. Why do it? After that got super careful. So now I don't know. It would be nice to be a little more open, but I don't feel that I can. Things happen, but as long as I brush it off, it seems okay. Still it would be nice to be more honest.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
TY Gypsy. Very helpful to know others go through these same heart aches. I read your info because I like to read when someone writes to help me understand them. We sound a lot alike in ways. I grew up around people who thought being sensitive was bad. Ignored my sensitivity. Even in my face, ignored when things happened. Then came the point when it was too obvious and accepted it but continued to ignore it. I use to play a game with myself - I see this and this happening tomorrow. If it does, then I'll know it's beyond normal. It would happen. Then I'd brush it off and do it again later. Well, I've finally reached a point where I'm a little more open. Not with friends so much, my friends wouldn't understand, but with people closer to me like the hubby and a little my sister. They knew anyway, just not the details and we didn't openly talk about it. Most people know before I do. They say things like you told me that would happen three weeks ago. I bought an extra tire. I've forgotten until they remind me. Thinking back, I was a very well behaved child to raise, but I don't think that I was as easy as I thought that I was.
Gypsy (guest)
 
14 years ago (2008-02-17)
Dont feel guilty Glenda you knew and it was our mothers choice. Your father knew as well. Its difficult to face what we know will happen especially when it is the passing of a loved one. I have already seen my mothers passing she will slip away quietly sitting up in her chair. This vision came to me several years ago. I have told Mum and she was consoled by this as she knows the abilities I have. We feel ill at ease when faced with a situation like yours because we know if they had only listened to us then it may not of happened. But the thing is that it was her choice. What you said came from frustration and confusion and heartfelt wanting to change the outcome. No matter what you did you couldn't of changed the outcome. Your mother knew you loved her and that's what you should embrace you were there for her at her time of need. I felt guilt over my fathers passing when I foresaw his death I didn't intervene because I knew it was his time. Accepting it was hard for me to face but this is what happened the night after he died. He came to me in a dream he had the habit of beckoning to me with his hand and would say come here lovely when he wanted to talk to me. He did this in the dream he was dressed in a sort of roman toga and we were standing on a marble verandah with huge columns in front of the building were beautiful gardens with flowers in bloom I suppose it may of been the garden of paradise. He walked over to the steps and we sat down. He turned to me and said everything is going to be all right. Then the vision ended. I called my mother to tell her about the dream and she said that she and my eldest brother had the same dream so it was Dads way of reassuring us that he was at peace. Don't distress your mothers transition was made easier from your fathers presence. They must of loved each other very much. Take care Gypsy
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-17)
Well I'm almost 50. I never had to project either until I got older and it was a progression. I always saw and did fine without them until I had one then got interested. I don't think I "see" better, just see it as a new experience. I've always seen. You may "see" also, but you have to take extra steps. Sorry. Hope you have a healthy and happy time of it.
aramasamara (22 stories) (577 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-17)
Some people have great expierences in their astral travels, other's can have quite horrific ones. Most of mine have been very let's say... Not good, but I have worked with someone to make me see in a better light. Repeating to me do not be scared, and unconciously my heart will start to flutter quick as a terrfied rabbit... And I don't always know why. Mostly I try not to astral project, because I don't really have to 'leave' to see things or travel.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-16)
That is too funny! Hmmm I think you are just very cautious. Voyages, projecting is a little like leaving your body behind that final time. In fact the first time, I thought that might be happening. It's frightening at first. That's why being relaxed is important so you can "let go..." It may never be your thing. You are easy for people to communicate with and explain. You learn by gathering. That's my feeling. You keep a record. Perhaps your purpose is to record and understand. Then, later, you will fly and see it. And it will make sense to you. Not sure. Just seems logical, but logical isn't always right. Perhaps you are recording for another reason that will make sense in 20 years.
Edmund (578 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-16)
GlendaSC... I'm not able to Astral Project in the classic sense I'm blocked from doing it... I guess what I do is just get images and depending on the level of energy surronding the subject is the clarity and detail of the images... But I wouldn't call it remote viewing either and I do have to meditate on the subject/person to get anything but there is a subtlety to it all. My analogy would be some people get a great High Def. T.V. With a great satellite connection and I have an old black and white T.V. With rabbit ears ! 😆
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-16)
The more I read my own stories, the more odd they sound. The scary part is that they are perfectly true. I'm a detail person. Use to freak my professors. Have given page numbers. I've never understood peoples' reaction to me, just knew I didn't like it and became a stay at home mom. The Twilight Zone theme got old though. All my life, I've kept my mouth shut unless an emergency, or a few times having fun, and even still, I sound odd to myself. This really is outside normal isn't it?
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-16)
Hey Edmund - you might remember this. Remember how around 3 weeks ago or so went on a "voyage" somewhere that seemed off-limits and maybe got grounded for awhile? Well last night got to voyage again. Went up to a place, no stars but thought their might have been flashes of a few faces. There was singing far away, but couldn't make out the words and didn't dare go looking after getting in trouble once. Then went back to my body. I didn't want be there yet. I said (pleaded) with whoever goes with me, "Please, please let me go back!" Guess what - got to! Not long after though, the husband started sneezing loudly, and I thought "Stop sneezing or I'll have to leave because I can't stay here awake..." He kept sneezing and I was sucked back to my body again. Interesting though. Never had one interrupted like that before. I like word "voyage..." I do tend to go up, very far, most of the time, but that makes it sound so mystical. Maybe it is, but now that I'm not scared too death, really seems pretty normal. I read that some can voyage when awake but just meditating. I've never meditated, on purpose, might try it. Do you voyage?
Edmund (578 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-16)
GlendaSC... I'll read a book every now and then. Its good to know the lingo. And when your first aware of your abilities or maybe your first ghost at least you have an idea. But the problem with psychic phenomena is that its not standardized everybody and every book is different even for the same phenomena. So that's why for the most part for me its a first hand experience. Learn by doing and pass on the experience ! 😁
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-16)
A question - I have mixed feelings about studying psychic stuff. Learning of shared experiences is useful. Always thought everyone was like me, that they just didn't pay attention good so was always a little impatient I think. The astral voyages I realized were a little strange. But, there are things that go bump in the night. Pain and destruction aren't my thing. Still, the young ones will be tempted to go there and play around with the dark stuff. I think that's why this subject has always been a little taboo, to protect them. Another concern is that some "gifted" people get conceited and overstep what they really know. We are not God and will never be... Anyone who thinks they can avoid death and taxes is fooling their self. I like that saying, If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. So studying this gives me mixed feelings.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-16)
I find it most frustrating when I can sense things and feel them but can't change them. I know people have to grow and learn in their own way. But wish sometimes it was easier. I have been able to prevent some things. Once walked up to a woman I didn't know in a class and asked if she felt okay. She said not really, but would go to the doc the next day. I badgered her into leaving and going right away. She was gone about four days, maybe five. It was a tubal pregnancy about to errupt. The docs told her tomorrow would be to late and took into surg that afternoon. But some things, just can't stop them.
Edmund (578 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-15)
GlendaSC... Sometimes we just have to let even our most loved ones make their choice. Even if we know what the end result might be. Ultimately we are in charge of our decisions concerning everything from health care to spiritual growth.
aramasamara (22 stories) (577 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-15)
No, it's not that ironic most humans don't believe it until they do it themeselves haha... So we all can be skeptics... Which isn't a bad thing, as long as one can balance it and isn't consumed in either side.
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-15)
I felt really guilty about not saying anything. I knew her surg. Was a bad move, but it was a knowing that isn't like a scientific knowing, so can always be off or wrong. I'm a logical, science type of person. Just one that is sensitive in a few ways. I probably wouldn't believe anything that I read here if I hadn't done it myself. That's a little ironic maybe.
aramasamara (22 stories) (577 posts)
 
14 years ago (2008-01-15)
I am glad you realized that one cannot control everything, knowing that you see you're able to live a fuller life, the life she would have wanted you to have.

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