I have been able to see and hear sprits, demons, ghosts, cross dimensional travelers, or whatever they are, since I was four. My problem begins with the day I met my first spirit guide-or who I have thought until now was my spirit guide.
I was thirteen and home from school very sick. I don't remember if I passed out or fell asleep, only that the next thing I remember is waking up in the middle of the night, like someone had snapped their fingers and demanded I open my eyes, and I wasn't sick any longer. Though I tried, I couldn't move; my body sat up on its own accord, and I found myself staring face to face with the most brilliant pair of vibrant green eyes of a Bengal tiger.
In the few seconds we stared at each other, I felt instinctively that the tiger was a "he", about my age but a little older, 15. He was as vivid as a real tiger in the zoo, yet "blurry" and "fuzzy" somehow, ghost like, like something half way in between two worlds, but not solidified on either side.
Then the tiger turned away and vanished. I fell back on my bed, like an invisible hand had released me. I think I fell asleep after a short while, then suddenly awoke later in the night just as I had the first time. I was on my back, arms against my sides and unable to move just like the time before. Partly of its own accord, my head turned to one side, then all my muscles froze entirely; sitting on the edge of my bed was a beautiful, doll like boy. He was small, not much if any taller then I was at the time, and I have always been small. I kept myself calm although I felt scared and something felt wrong, although that could have been because I couldn't move, a tiger had somehow teleported in and out of my room, and now there was a 15 or so old guy sitting on my bed. When I saw him then, and whenever I've seen him since, he has always been in white. That night, he was in white shorts and a white shirt that both seemed too big for him; the only thing he wore that wasn't white were his shoes, red converse or basketball shoes.
The boy was scared although he tried to hide it; he told me not to be afraid, that he wasn't going to hurt me, in a soft, quiet voice.
I asked him if he was the tiger, he said yes. I asked him if he was my guide too I think, and I think he said yes. We said a few other things to each other, I can't remember what they were.
Though as we said those things I don't remember, my sense of foreboding intensified; something had changed about the boy.
I think his eyes turned black and his smile malicious before he turned into-I vow, no matter how untruthful it sounds-what looked like a grey alien, but slim, about 5' 3" or 5' 2", insect looking, with an angular head, black robes and huge, huge, black eyes.
Its head snapped to the right in an unnatural motion, then to the left as it leaned closer. (I was unable to make a sound or to move, though I think I was too shocked and terrified to scream). Then just as suddenly as it had appeared, the grey alien thing vanished and was replaced again with the tiger boy, eyes bugging out and voice no longer mellow. He said something like "I'm sorry that wasn't me, I have to go, they know that I (or maybe "we're) hear."
Then I guess I fell asleep and I woke up the next morning. A year or two latter I learned of my other "guide", who oddly dresses all in black. I thought for so long that a demon had just intercepted my conversation with the tiger and that it was no fault of his, but deep down there has always been a part of me I think that doesn't believe these things are my guides or anything benevolent at all, and research I have done very recently leads me to believe this.
Please, help me to understand what the hell is going on.
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