I have BP1 and a few months ago I was feeling as my spirit guides were very present and speaking to me through various signs and I seemed to take it all very seriously. I was "hearing" was that I would win the lottery! Every day there was some sort of sign and it was like 12 different signs within 10 days. Radio, commercials (55 in 2 days) and I really believed they were telling me to play. WAY too coincidental, but not?
I would meditate and really feel the presence of then through major vibration.
I was also going through a separation and so wanted to get back together with my husband that I also felt signs that it would happen. I would meditate and get visions. See I was doubting my own sanity and asked for specific visions of things that were to happen to prove it was real. Then I would see something on the news that seemed, SEEMED to be what I had asked for. None of it materialized.
I wonder if those with BP ever feel like they have a special connection but could only be what is called "Delusions of Reference"
I know the definition of that is very similar to what I have shared. I just want to know when having a mental disorder how can you tell if it is real or just your illness acting up?
Since all of this fell apart I have lost a lot of faith in my guides and what they are really there for and if I can really count on them OR is it me creating all this because I want some things so badly.
I just don't know how to keep believing anymore. I feel like I am crazy now when I try and speak to them or try to hear messages.