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Have I Called A Demon Or Become Possessed?


I have decided to post here to ask for help to put an end to a really strange chapter in my life.

I have registered using the username I use around the internet rather than incognito as things are way past being able to hide behind a simple name change as will become apparent.

In order to put everything into context I must start my story from the very beginning, and so I shall.

My childhood was very broken indeed, although my proficiency for technology was fostered (I would often sit down in front of a new computer, read the manual cover to cover and then program the machine without any assistance) things happened that never should.

As time went on these atrocities ceased and I went on with my life, then one day I wondered why I could not remember my childhood.

I decided to go on a journey with drugs to discover the parts of my mind that were shut off from my consciousness, little did I know what I was unlocking.

Once I realized the unfortunate truth I was afraid to talk to anyone about it due to the stigma attached to such things, it hung over me like a black cloud, this cloud grew and grew until eventually it spilled out.

I'm still not sure how or who found out but I am now branded in my community (and I suspect worldwide via the internet).

I can assure you, the reader of this wild journey that I have never and will never be that person, I am a victim of those painful times, not an instigator of such foulness. I ask you to believe this with all of my heart.

Now, shortly after the news broke, my pet cat Troi, a beloved treasure and one of the biggest lights of my life, suddenly became ill, her symptoms were that of anti-freeze poisoning, unfortunately her illness was terminal and I had to have her put down (1 year ago this very month in fact).

The pain of this loss rocked me to my very core and at it was at this time that weird things started to happen.

One night I wished that whomever called me by this branding would suffer the loss of a loved one.

Suddenly people in my workplace & their families starting dying in their sleep.

Then on two occasions I awoken from my sleep with a name on my lips (the second occurrence had two names) and both times I went back to sleep and woken in the morning to discover these people had died.

I am still not confident enough to divulge these names, but I think it's enough to say that two of the deaths made worldwide news.

After that I had my first (and so far only) OOBE (Out Of Body Experience), the typical kind in that I was looking down on my sleeping body in bed.

Next up came a dream in which I was in a black space in which a fog hung, this space was pretty short height wise but was very wide, and out of the fog came a huge grey hand.

I remember thinking "oh, a hand, what should I do?", I remember backing away from this hand in this space as it tried to grab me.

Rather than letting this hand grab me I proceeded to kiss it as a gentleman would to a lady in a Victorian movie, I then pressed my right cheek to it.

I remember being surprised that there was a touch of warmth to the hand rather than being ice cold as I expected.

I then awoke from the dream.

The next dream was in a futuristic setting in which I was with some people running through what can only be described as a spaceship corridor, we came to a large green orb set into a panel, I remarked to the people I was with that "I can jack into that", I then sat down on the floor next to the orb and began to fall asleep, the last thing I saw were the shoes of the people I was with coming back for me.

The next scene in this dream was simply grey, no sense of space this time, I remember feeling as if my head was bowed, I heard my name being spoken to my left (not my full name incidentally, just my first and last, not my middle) I then slowly awoke to a feeling of utter peace and tranquility.

I have not had any other dreams like this since I have taken to sleeping through the daytime rather than at night.

The most recent occurrence is that I have developed a personal odor of sulfur, not the rotten eggs smell that people often attribute to sulfur, rather the burnt match smell.

It was searching for sulfur smell that has lead me to this site and the decision to, pardon the pun, exorcise the demon to the world at large and seek your help.

What the heck have I brought into this plane/my soul?, how on earth do I send it back to where it came from?

Many thanks for reading this to the end, I can assure you this is no epic troll.

Yours Hopefully.


P.S, my username might seem dark, however I chose it many many years before all of this weirdness ever started simply because it is something I do say a lot as an exclamation, right down to dropping the "hel" as I speak.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, BloodyL, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

BloodyL (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-10)
Hello again LadyHawke, I did try and contact this chap online a while back but I can't seem to recall why it didn't work out, I will try again.

As for the laughter, those around me can make me laugh no problems but my own sense of comedy has been off kilter or entirely lacking for a while, so that is something for me to address, cheers.

This recent update will probably be the last one that contains any real in depth discussion as things are moving on quickly and I feel it would be unwise for me to talk about these things specifically.

The short version is that I'm hoping the moons close proximity is amplifying my state as things are moving a bit too quick for a single untrained soul to handle, I tried another meditative state session last night, this time I got cocky and over-reached my ability, luckily no-one has been hurt, but it has taught me a lesson.

I will continue to practice meditative states but rather keep all energies focused on the task at hand of self healing and protection rather than playing about with my new toy...

I am also reading the Robert Bruce book that PathR suggested, an excellent read.

Many thanks for everyones help and general positivity, it has and will continue to be invaluable.
I will try and keep everyone updated, but it a much more general manner now that my initial question has been answered and guidance given, and also reply to any more messages that may come in.

All the best everyone! 😁
Ladfyhawke (1 stories) (103 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-09)
Your old school friend is important. Think back about this connection, perhaps try to find (him?or a very strong her?)...The simplicity of that path has something to give you... I'm happy you have found some rest. And I'm happy you have returned to a creative state, some laughter would be good for you. Blessed Be, Ladyhawke ❤
BloodyL (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-09)
Wow, some wonderful comments to consider there, thanks everyone.

Going back a step, TheBrowneyes17: I would agree with you now that I am not possessed, the only time I've ever been confused is when I've been under the influence of psychoactive substances, my short term memory has been affected but again, I think that is due to taking things.

As an aside, I have had some wacky things happen when under the influence like mild hallucinations and at times pretty heavy paranoia, but while I'm sober I have never heard internal/external 3rd party voices and most definitely never had voices that tell me to do things, so permanent mental issues / possession can pretty much be ruled out.

As for the evil clinging to me, I think it has been there for a very long time, during my childhood I was almost abducted right on my doorstep, another time my bike was taken from me by a passing adult literally minutes after it was given to me by my parents (my very own "rosebud"!), all kinds of crazy things like that.

Thanks for the instructions RookDygin, I understand that it is a symbolic process, do the actions and the mind/spirit will follow suit with it's own version.

PathR: Absolutely, I can attest to that as I typed above, once the damage was done then negative forces found me easy prey from then on, whereas now I am trying my best to stay positive and upbeat in the face of negative pressures (from both humans and forces) and as a result I find myself much more centred and expressive, whilst the cloud of my past and drugs hung over me I had a spiritual and creative block that has lasted over a year, thanks to the kind words on here, the articles from AnneV (thanks for posting my story!) and my new found explorations into the unknown I feel so much has been achieved in a very short time indeed and I can feel myself going back to the way I was before (sans the unspeakable past of course).
I will track down that book and give it a good read.

LadyHawke: Your reading was inspiring, thanks, as I noted above my creativity and ability to express has been crushed under my past and drugs for a good while now, it has only very recently resurfaced, your positive message has been received and taken aboard.
As for the visitation, I have learned a little more about all of this as my catharsis/soul searching goes on and I realise now that I have not called anything into this plane, it was simply a lifetime of negative forces that had built up around me that fed on my grieving process and acted accordingly.

StrawberryMoon: Once again, as already covered I understand that the actions themselves of the cleansing process don't actually mean that much, they are there to set the mind up for a spring clean, so no worries there.:)
I agree with what you say regarding belief & faith, if i'm reading it correctly it doesn't really matter what you believe in, just as long as you do believe in something and that will give you faith and that is what gives strength, cool!.

Last night when settling down to sleep I tried holding myself in the halfway house between the two states and to be receptive of anything that might be around, I caught glimpses of faces and felt impressions, all the while rejecting any negative forces from coming forward, after a short while I fell asleep and at sometime during my sleep cycle had a lucid dream about an old school friend who I have lost contact with and who has no connection whatsoever to anything that has gone in the past or recently.
Whilst under the cloud my dreams tended to be suppressed from my waking memory, I would just go to sleep and wake up as if I'd only napped for a few minutes, so I must be doing something right!.

Cheers all! 😁
StrawberryMoon (3 stories) (21 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-08)
I am going to be honest with you, these purifying exercises will not work one bit unless you believe. I do not believe in religion but I believe in god. If you can believe in demons and hell then there is such a god greater then us. Your faith has to be strong no matter what that faith is in. I have too had experences such as yours, my whole body was completely taken over. My faith was little. Since I have mastered certain things like keeping my faith strong and I do speak and help spirits cross over, nothing evil has touched me. Try looking into your background. Its proven any spanish/ indian decendents are more likely to have accurances such as these. Or even if anything happened with your great grand parents or even your parents.
Best of luck.
Ladfyhawke (1 stories) (103 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-08)
Hey BloodyL, And good to hear you PathR, sorry to have been away. BloodyL, These 'visitations' are temporary at best. I read you as being highly intuitive with a very strong creative nature. The combination can be easily manipulated by even random energy. Your discipline will be to filter what is important from what is just free floating grey to dark energy, and then choosing (no matter how many times) to bring only the highest enlightened energy to yourself and the reality we all live in. Your past may have set you up (we all come from somewhere) but your strength of character and determination will, not only set you free, but guide you into becoming a force of nature. Never underestimate the power of the will that has brought you to being and thus this challenge. Bring light into yourself and let it join with the eternal spark and light that is your core of being. We need many fierce, passionate beings to push this reality continually into the higher energy. We are here to shed fear and excercise will, look around and see what we have created so far... There is much to be done, and many needed to do it. Blessed Be young warrior, Ladyhawke ❤
PathR (4 stories) (1274 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-08)
I agree with TheBrowneyes17.

When negative things happen to children it affects
Their core. As children are quite open to spirit and
Totally dependant on their parents to protect.
With this type of scenario comes negative experiences
That seem to plague the child.

Negative Energy/spirits that are attracted to.
So it makes sense why you felt possessed with neg things
Occurring over and over.

If a human in childhood suffered. The dark can be
Parts of wounded/carry pain which negs are attracted to.

In your post you mention meditating and practicing
OBE. With many spiritual endeavors this in itself
Will can clear and heal and raise our vibrations.

If a human being stands their ground and uses
At cognitive behavior, or mind training this will
Attract good and postive. Additionally this life
Style will not give energy to negs/or lower vibration
Beings. For one it does not feed them.

Just by you automatic response of kissing the hand
Of dark. You showed love and allowed it to move away
Because there was no place in you, on an unconscious level
You ACTED, hence this is showing your mind is renewed.

There is a very good book: by Robert Bruce
Practical Psychic self-defense
(I only recommend this book to people whom have some understanding).
RookDygin (5 stories) (324 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-08)

Try this, you may find it helps...

Recipe for a Home Cleansing/Shielding... (allow for two or 3 days to complete)

Day one: Open all curtains window and doors with screens installed, let fresh air and sunshine into the home. Have all closets, cabinets and other 'dark spaces' open so that as much natural light as possible can enter those spaces. After 2-3 hours take a broom and 'sweep' out each room (this is symbolic and you do not have to really sweep) focus your thoughts on sweeping (pushing) out all negative energies / entities /thoughts. Close home up after completing each room of your home... Please do not forget your garage if you have one. (Optional) Light incense (sandalwood or Dragons-blood works well for me) and let aroma fill the home, and/or play a tape that contains your favorite Church/Positive, Upbeat (songs that give you good thoughts) songs before you begin sweeping.

Day two (or three): Once again open all curtains, windows and doors. Take a White candle (Optional) to the center most point of the home, sit on the floor and place candle in front of you. Light the candle (visualize a white ball of light) and then focus on the flame... Visualize the flame (white light) filled with positive thoughts, energy. (Say a prayer at this time if you so desire... Ask for cleansing positive energy to fill the candles flame/white light). Hold this 'image' in your mind and then visualize the flame (light) slowly expanding outward, visualize it filling the room your in, every corner and 'dark space'. Continue to visualize it's outer edges pushing away (burning away) any and all negative energies/entities out and away from each room in your home. Once you have visualized this flame (light) filling your entire home, picture it expanding to your property lines. Hold this image in your mind for a few moments then visualize 'anchoring' this flame (light) where you are sitting which is the center most point of your home. Once you have done this. Take a deep breath, relax a few moments and then blow out the candle. (If you didn't use a candle just let yourself relax a moment or two.) "

Now you can create a shield for yourself using the 'home shield' technique but instead of focusing on your home visualize the 'flame' simply surrounding you instead of your home... Best time to do this is after a nice shower using a rosemary scented soap (rosemary is good for purification and protection.)

Please keep us updated.


BloodyL (1 stories) (3 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-08)
Thank you for your comment TheBrowneyes17, I will take it on board and consider it as I work through this.:)

Yesterday I tried a simple spoken exorcision throughout the house and within my soul, telling the force that I am no longer afraid of it, it has no place in this plane and that I banish it back to where it came from.
I then settled down to sleep, as I tried to sleep tapping sounds started, it came from different locations around the room.
I then restarted my mantras, denying the force access to my fears and stating that I am banishing it back to the place it came from. (I also denied it the chance of a parting shot).

Eventually the taps/cracks settled and I drifted into the half-way house between sleep and awake where I saw a vision of a bloodied claw, luckily not a cats claw, more like a griffens claw.
Once Again I denied it access to me and my fears and told it to go back to its original domain.

I then had a lucid dream whereby I was at an Oasis concert and two guys next to me were trying to force me to smoke crack saying "we are going to mess you up real good", once again I denied them, the dream then ended with the lead singer of the band singing into his microphone but nothing was coming out of the speakers.
It was at that point I awoke and realised I was late for work!... Oops!.

The smell of sulfur appears to have subsided a little, but I have the feeling that it is not over yet, I think the entity is clinging on to the fear that is attached to me from other people, there is only so much I can do, I'll try my best.

To add to my previous post, I have also had moments of precognition and connection.

Early one morning I thought to myself "we haven't had a thunderstorm in a while, I love thunder", lo and behold a short while later a storm passed overhead at 4am, I had not heard any thunder or seen any lightning prior to my thought on the matter.

Several times I have thought "a car is going to hit the brakes hard" or "a police car will pass" and a few seconds later I will hear the sound of screeching tyres or the wail of a police siren outside.

Regarding the connection, a good while back I was mindlessly doing a household chore when all of a sudden I stopped in my tracks and a thought entered my head, "Peter has got cancer, he's got leukaemia"
I instantly dismissed this as just my mind running away with itself as I do a simple task.
This peter is someone who I adored and idolised and would never desire to harm him, yet he eventually passed away from leukaemia with complications from cancer.
Peter only told his most trusted peers of his illness and the fact that he was ill was only made apparent upon his death.

Just this very night I have realised that I have been pushing away people close to me as I don't want any harm to them, these negative things that have happened are not a part of my life philosophy, if a confrontation occurs I will either become passive or run away from the situtation.

I want these terrible things to end, for people to stop fearing, to stop projecting their own ideas of who I am onto me, it is feeding this negative energy and it will never be gone unless this cycle is broken.

Please, help me.

P.S. I have just realised I have a garden ornament that is a gargoyle that was given to me as a christmas gift, I think that may be the bloodied griffen claw I saw, so that will be the first thing to go.

Once again, thanks for reading.
TheBrowneyes17 (1 stories) (12 posts)
12 years ago (2012-05-08)
you may not be possessed because I think if there were two beings in body your mind would be jumbled up an you wouldn't be able to think early. There may be something evil clinging to you and doing things around you and is becoming one with you. I think you should look into purifying yourself and surroundings and excersicing anything that may be evil around you.

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