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Rooms of Darkness in my Head


Hi everyone. A horrifying side in a person's life could lead to so much damage through the years, but what if it was possible to be able to capture it and know how to change where your going through that path of misery? This is how I would like to start my story.

Since I was a child, 5 years of age, I used to pass out a lot, for no real reason, and I would wake up again after few seconds. During it I would see myself in a room, dark, cold, with closets, I would sit there and cry until I am able to wake up again in the real world. I called this world in my head "my illusion". Being a quiet kid with an unhappy childhood did not allow me to tell anyone about it.

I grew up and it was still happening, even harder than before, I would see ghosts in the room, shadows, and I could hear noises right behind that door which I was not able to open, just waiting for myself in the real world to wake up so I could get out of that scary place in my head. As I turned 19, and still getting sent to that room in my head, I finally had the courage to open the door of that room, hoping to find help behind it, but instead I found what's worse.

The world which I call "my illusion" turned to be a building after I opened the door, a very dark building, which is also very old, with other rooms beside each other, more of a hallway. A frightening thing for a kid, but growing up made me want to know what it is all about. All I found there was Ghosts trying to harm me, physically and mentally, and bruises would show on me if I was hurt physically.

I met the love of my life when I was 19, and what we experienced together through the times I passed out in and got sent to "my illusion" was more of a nightmare to our relationship. I haven't told her about it until the time I passed out and she was right with me. Shaking me trying to wake me up with no use, I was completely sent to darkness, even though I could hear her voice, but I could not wake up, I was living in reality with my body, but completely in darkness, more like being in a coma. As weird things started attacking me in "my illusion", she was starting to see the bruises on me, and she was in fear, but then it happened... I woke up, but I was not me.

She told me I was a different person, I had a weird smile, and a weird tone of voice, that's when she had a feeling that something took over my body, and when she told me that after I woke up for real, I found out that creatures or ghosts from darkness could lock me in "my illusion" and take my form. I was afraid, afraid that they will hurt her, afraid that she will leave me saying I'm a freak. I told her the whole truth which no one knew about, I was shocked to see her standing by my side, and trying to find ways to know what this is all about.

Continued to pass out, fearing that the thing I wake up to be sometimes will hurt my girlfriend made me live in horror, not finding any clue on how to wake myself up unless my head says so was not easy, but I did not give up. One day, as I was in "my illusion", hearing my girlfriend trying to wake me up crying at the same time, I closed my eyes and wished that I could just hear her voice through a phone, and when I opened my eyes I saw the phone right in front of me. A huge fear and shock took over me. After I woke up I told her all about it, which made me find out that in darkness I can imagine anything I want and when I imagine it hard, I can get it. We made a code between us, to know if it is me or not when I wake up, and the code is "you are my sunshine", and the word sunshine is our good luck charm until now.

I am 22 years old now, and we are still together and I still pass out. I went to a professional, and when I told him about it all, he asked me about my childhood, and that is when he caught the problem. The world in my head which is "my illusion" is actually the same horrifying building I used to live in when I was a child, which made my fear turn into a deep reality. Knowing that I can imagine things in darkness and get it, made it easier on me to go through it. My illusion is still a mystery to others, and you all are first to hear it after my girlfriend.

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, shadowed4life, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will read the comments and participate in the discussion.

aramasamara (22 stories) (577 posts)
16 years ago (2008-02-06)
We all have delusions/illusions that we think might only an 'insane person' might have. We all make fun of insane people for hearing voices, but infact we all have auditory delusions. You might be pondering how is that so? Well, what if I ask you to hear one of your parents voices or a close friend? I bet almost all of you can hear their voice when I told you to do that.

I am just glad you looked inside your self and found out what was the issue, that's the way to go!
GlendaSC (5 stories) (1475 posts)
16 years ago (2008-02-04)
I'm very ignorant of this stuff. New here. Read parts of two books. Skipped a lot of the stuff that seemed far fetched. But, I did dream, as a child of a very frightening house. I think two times. It just seemed to grow as I walked through. Hated it. Maybe I'd heard of the Manchester House and dreamed it. I don't know. Anyway, when I feel dark, depressed, or in need of something, if I walk outside a few feet and ask for light from God, it helps me. I don't know why. Perhaps, like plants, the sun is there for a reason to feed us something. I do believe in the "Son" but this is different. It is touch, visual, chemical, and helpful. Might be useless to you. I wrote a short story, about 8 months ago about a house that grew and a newlywed couple who had worked at a circus. Never sent it off. It was a little scary then too, and yucky, and I don't want anyone scared. Still it felt to get it out.
Edmund (578 posts)
16 years ago (2008-02-04)
shadowed4life... I wish I knew I have been haunted since I was a little child and have the same parental/religious background. Have faith it will help.
shadowed4life (1 stories) (2 posts)
16 years ago (2008-02-04)
Dear Edmund. Yes I am a christian and you are right about everything you said. I just need to know why am I grabbing bad spirits and not good ones?. Ever since I was a child I was haunted by demons even though my parents are religious. I think wearing a cross might do the right thing.
Edmund (578 posts)
16 years ago (2008-02-04)
shadowed4life... You my friend have the strength and the power to take back your life. I really hate it when evil messes with a child and then sticks around. Its not fair so you have to not fight fair also. If you are a Christian or familar with it try wearing a cross or rosary under your shirt and see what happens... The gun/knife in your dreams will backfire on you. They don't want you to think "holy" thoughts they have no power over it. I don't want to sound all preach-ee but they are beings from the dark... Lost souls... You need to bring in weapons from the light.
shadowed4life (1 stories) (2 posts)
16 years ago (2008-02-04)
Edmund, when I pass out I actually feel it before I do, I feel that my body has no energy what so ever, as if somebody has just pulled me out from the real world so I could fade in to my illusion, I also hear a buzzing in my ears and noises but I never understand what they are saying. I actually never thought about any religious things to imagine when I go to the building in my head ! Because I would be too busy imagining things to fight evilness as anyone would fight in th real world, such as a knife, a gun, and so on, but actually none of them worked out because I'm fighting ghosts not humans! I apreciate what you told me, it might actually help me a lot when I pass out!. Yes it is a huge possibility that an evil spirit from the old apartment I used to live in as a child is still around me as I still feel it, and as a kid I used to have the most horrible ghost experiences, all bad and never good. Thank you so much.
Edmund (578 posts)
16 years ago (2008-02-04)
shadowed4life... Wow now that's a story the physical marks on your body when you wake up must really scare both of you. So now that you know that the building is where you lived as a small child and that an evil entity has somehow attached to you as you described how do you plan to fight this and gain a sense of normalacy ? If you can dream about a phone, wake up and find a phone near you have you tried to dream "In" a religious article like a cross, a bible, or even a guardian Angel to let the evil ones know that you have power also and are not afraid of using it ? And do you get a warning before you pass out ?

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