Mental Messages

Also, please know you,*do* matter. Please keep in touch, okay? ❤ ❤ ❤

I'm glad you are seeing a therapist next week. It is helpful to talk things out with someone. I think things will work out for you -- I hope sooner rather than later. It's a good sign that your mother is moving forward.

You have quit drinking and smoking - good for you! Do you attend any AA meetings? People there can be really helpful, especially with rides. And the emotional support can be life saving. In the meantime, keep us posted. Feel free to rant and rave here all you want. It's safe here. 😊

Well looks like I have been thrown into the abyss on this site, but I found my post.
Anyhow, all of my writing had been at the very least cathartic. I was able to get it out, and share my psychic pain with others. I hope that in my openess that I was able to help someone else be honest with themselves. ❤ and light to all!
Oh yes, I must share that my mother did call me today while I was crying, and she is now on the road to understanding or right thinking. That's a lot for her, and we still have a long way to go. As for Tom, eh.

PurplePanda, Oh I have been. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have no where to go. Things aren't good. No car, no job, and no emotional support.
I used to have all of those things, minus the emotional support. Tom, my so called boyfriend, had an accident in my car the day after Christmas 2009. That's a long story.
It's not looking good. But I know there is a light at the end, something good will transpire for me.
I am applying for jobs in my field and I am going to a hiring event on Saturday at a grocery store nearby.
My mother says with much disdain (I hear it even though it is not expressed) that I could come back there, but it's just not my home anymore. I don't feel welcome.
She never really gave me the emotional support that I needed considering everything that I've been through (all behind her selfishness). She has her own issues (delusions and denial being the two main ones), and concern for me is not one of them. I'm a big girl now, I am supposed to have my big girl pants on.
I felt a real (like cut the cord real) disconnect between us the beginning of this year. I don't know what I did. OH yeah I quit drinking a year and a half ago, and now just recently I quit smoking. They still do that over there. I was actually attributing this to a never mind you don't want to know that part yet. That's another post.
Even though she says I can come home, I don't feel that I am welcome. There is too much bad blood between her husband, apparently my half brother and now her.
Besides my old bedroom is being occupied by my brother and his girlfriend, and they are not trying to give that up. Yeah they are are sleeping in my bed (which mom say isn't mine), and she is using my amoire. Which still pisses me off, even though I left it there for the family to use when I moved out. At one point when I was angry about my brother's girlfriend moving in and them moving themselves in my room, my mother said I abandoned those things. It's funny how she chose to say abandoned my things when she actually emotionally and physically abandoned me from the ages of 4 or 5 until 11. Then she literally kidnapped me from my grandmother because of some child support issue. She owed quite a bit of money.
WOW, boy do I like to share. Don't worry guys, I have an appointment with a therapist next week. At least I'll have someone to talk to, it's just going to be pain getting there and paying for it. Oh yeah, she doesn't help me with rides or even come to see me for that matter. We only live 25 miles apart.
I know and feel when I am not wanted. I think I picked that up as a child and it stuck.
I am extremely upset with my mother for her lack of empathy toward me. It hurts me to my soul. And I want to hurt her back even though I pretend that I can move on.
I don't matter that much to anybody it seems.
I have to bring two cats with me where ever I end up. I don't think I could give them up under any circumstance.
Well Tom's at his mother's, so I am here alone. Hopefully Kris won't use the key he was talking about. He wouldn't dare. I will unleash my demons on him. OH didn't know about that side. 😆. Something new I am learning about. I probably shouldn't say that. Don't be alarmed. I also have mace, a taser and two guard kitties. I'm trying and haven't given up, but it's hard when I feel like I have malevolent forces keeping me stuck. I better stop here.

I would suggest you rethink your relationship with your boyfriend. You state he is not supportive and doesn't understand you. He continues to hang out with a guy who makes you feel unsafe. If you you do not feel comfortable with this Kris person, trust your instincts. They're telling you the truth.

Is it possible for you to move? Put as much distance between you and Kris. ❤

Thank you very much for your input on my quandry. I really appreciate the time you took to respond.
That's cool and funny in a way that your friend busted you like that.

Hi Dawn,
All I can say is that it is definitely possible for people to send mental messages to each other.
I've met more than 1 psychic person and there were a few occassions where I was unhappy about something they did or said to me, and being a very heavy introverted thinker I inadvertently sent them some not so nice thoughts that I had about them. The reason I know that I sent them and that they "heard" me was that 1 of the persons scribbled a note to me with the exact words that I was thinking about them. So it might be that the person may not be really aware they are "sending" messages... I'm not sure how you really do it... But if you concentrate on the person and then talk to them... Just tell them that it makes you feel bad that they think bad things about you... They might not "hear" a voice or the words they might just start feeling that they shouldn't do that anymore... Or of course there's the possibility that they won't pick up anything. Also, there's been occassions where I have heard others... But I think many of us do these things only 1/2 consciously.
There's also the possibility that there is some bad energy/spirit around that's messing with you. But you can also ask them to leave you alone.
Good luck with this.

Ironically, this Kris showed up today. He is the grandson of my landlord and former friend of my boyfriend. I wouldn't let him in as I feel he is evil or has ill intentions. He left some satanic looking saying penned with a marker in the closet when he lived here briefly a few years ago during a break away from my boyfriend.

When we got back together, I had to kick Kris out because I found out that he is a drug abuser and I wasn't about to go down in some drug sting or whatever goes along with being a drug user like that. I found the satanic saying when he vacated. At the time, my boyfriend didn't want to help me ask him to move. I guess he was scared to hurt him or whatever.

Now some of you may be asking yourselves, "Is this chick on drugs herself?" My answer is no. Not anymore. I quit drinking a year and a half ago, and I just quit smoking pot and cigarettes last week. Yeah well. Nothing harder than that.
I mentioned I was getting these one word messages occasionaly in the past prior to the recent happening.

Anyhow, through the door he asked about a key. I am very security conscious. He wanted to know to what door it belongs. WHAT?!?! He's a socio/psychopath in my opinion, and possibly psychic himself now that I think about it. My boyfriend went down to see about it. But apparently never asked. I now feel very unsecure and scared. I feel sick everytime I think that he is just messing with me. I am scared I might do something irrational in order to protect myself.

My boyfriend is not supportive and does not seem to understand my concern. Instead of finding out about the key he decided it was a good time to hang out with him. I had to go downstairs and get him away from Kris. He apparently has some pied piper effect on my boyfriend because my boyfriend was in my landlord's place with the door closed. She is away while they are fixing the place up for her. I wish I has some control in my voice when I asked Kris what his intentions are. But I ended up yelling the question. No answer. I am pretty intense for a little lady.
When I got him upstairs, I had to remind him why he stopped being friends with Kris in the first place. I also asked him why he doesn't protect me if he claims to be my man. Which he delcared just this morning before Kris came a knocking. "I'm the man, you do as I say." Some crap like that. That didn't go over well. Then I hear Kris screeching away in his car. Which is funny because he was supposed to be painting for his grandmother. Or maybe it was a ruse to get at me. It worked. He is the now the person that I think is sending me these derogatory messages.

My boyfirend is clueless and not aware that this can be an issue. Well, it is now. At this point I don't even consider him my boyfriend anymore. If he can't help me feel secure, then I don't need him.
I always feel a strange pull in my solar plexus when I know I am right about something.

Obviously, there is more to this than mental messages.


My mom thought it was spirits in the house calling me those names because of the old timey name. I am bi-racial by the way. I don't know maybe it's all in my head, but I doubt it. Well thanks a lot for your input, if any. If anything you got a juicy story.