hey I am going to be 18 years old on Oct. 30 and I definitely don't know how to explain my story, because I don't know what it is myself but I will try my best.
When I was a young kid I could never be alone, because I was always to scared of these voices or sounds I would hear everywhere I go, though they were always very faint of someone calling my name in voices I could never recognize and were always different and never repeated. I knew it wasn't anyone messing with me because I would be alone in the house or wherever.
Then they eventually stopped for about a year or two until I was 13 they started coming back but this time it was only when I would try and go to sleep the voices I have never heard before all calling my name in all these different directions in my head I would just ignore them since I was already used to it.
Eventually those stopped to and I moved on but then I started getting detached from reality as I grew older not knowing why humans worked the way they did and other things like that those thoughts inside me grew stronger everyday and evolved into a very real feeling that's has no word that I know of to describe it. So the best I can do to explain it is a pull from the inside. Since then I had a tendency to go into an auto meditating state that really helped me observe and study just what this "pull" was while I mindlessly went through life not understanding reality much at all.
But why I'm here typing this up today is because as of recently I felt a sort of spiritual feeling inside me that felt like the true me I don't know how but I saw my whole body just for a second as a purple spirit (and its not even my favorite color!) or being or whatever a bit bigger than my physical body that radiated a sort of energy
I went into shock because it gave me a sense of fulfillment thoug I was still clueless of what this was and since then I have been feeling as though the existing reality ends at the core of my body and begins to expand in a whole different dimension that I still feel inside of me and that is where I not only hear but feel these voices now though I'm not sure what they say anymore.
I don't know if I'm crazy or if I came to the right place but some times I can look at myself in the mirror and concentrate so I can feel fluids/energy/bone structure moving plus I can feel energy coming out through my finger tips at times. Is there anyone that can give me some kind of idea what I'm going through or if this is actually normal, but I'm the only one to bring it up haha
What I do know is that my mom can see the dead's spirits sometimes and my grandma has been claimed to be a a voodoo witch doctor or something like that. I'm really open to anything and would love to find out if there's something I could do with this or at least know I tried figuring it out with help instead of on my own