Depression States

My name is Debra. I do not know if this would be considered a psychic experience. But I do feel sensitive, sometimes too sensitive and not even sure if I really believe in all of this. But guidance is not afforded to me so my life path is unclear although I feel there is much more that I can do, I just do not know what. Sometimes I fall into deep depression-like states and worry over everything. I am hoping as a last resort that I will find some direction. My mother although secretive had expressed some things about these sort of things though not to me directly but I found it frightening so it was not something I even wanted to acknowledge but it seems to always be ever-present in the back of my mind. I know this is not making much sense but too many details to write about at once and right now I am just looking for a sense of truth. Sometimes I experience deja-vu. Sometimes even when I hope to be wrong I am right but often I let my paranoia cloud my judgement which I think suffers from ongoing chaos and trauma that has existed since childhood until a recent divorce from an abusive ex-husband. Sometimes, I over analyze and dwell on an issue trying to find a solution and think a problem through only to find it may or may not be what I perceive. Sometimes, I can look at someone and see the sadness in their eyes but I cannot trust my judgement or my heart. I have never fit in anywhere, I have 1 or 2 friends that stick by me though I know they tire of my intense ways, although I dare not speak of these things to them. However, my friend stated she used to go and see a psychic when the psychic was alive that is. Again, I am just looking for some sense of truth. Thank you.