I have been trying to deal with my "condition " by ignoring it. I don't enjoy feeling what others feel, though I am grateful that I can help them. I've been dating a girl who is literally the sweetest, most caring, loving person I could have ever asked for. But she has depression problems. And now, I'm "leeching" them from her. She's so happy and always smiling now and I see this woman who hasn't been happy in years. But its affecting me badly. I have even had to triple or quadruple my antidepressant dosage. I can't bring myself to leave her because I honestly love her, but I don't know what to do, because I can't feel like this forever. It's so bad that I've been dreaming horrid things that keep me from sleeping. I am physically and mentally drained. I used to work out constantly to help get rid of these negative energies, but I can't even find the energy to drive to the gym, let alone exercise. And though I haven't gained weight I know it's close to start happening again, even though I don't have an appetite.
I'm to the point where it's a struggle to not begin abusing alcohol and drugs again. (I had a history and finally stopped) and I find myself reaching towards alcohol or any other substance I can use to get it to stop. Please help. I'd appreciate any input, except telling me to leave her. To be honest, if I have to feel like this forever just to see her happy and not hurting, I'll deal with it one way or another. Anything but that. It may sound picky, but if you had known the things she had went through and her doubts and you finally seem her truly happy, I think you'd make the same decision. Its our nature as empaths, isn't it? To put others before us.
Thank you for taking time to read this, and like I said earlier, I'd appreciate any input or help.