I'm confused and always terrified. Terrified of what I'll find behind the door and who is making all those noises.
But most of all it's my dreams and that horrible feeling that something dark is in my room and the hand reaching into my heart and trying to take it away. My dreams aren't as bad as some of the stories I've read on here; my sympathy goes out to you. But for a few years now I've been able to see these visions of the future and recently ever since I moved to this new house I've got this new gift where the meaning of my dreams come true. Only ever since I've moved here all I've had are nightmares but before I hardly ever dreamt.
I feel as if I'm being awakened and my powers are growing inside me. I can feel a surge of energy running through me sometimes however; I've no idea how to put it to use.
I've been a little strange since I was little; My birth was predicted by a psychic who said I was a present for my Dad and when I had just learnt to speak I blanked out the whole world. I didn't say a word and hid under the table whenever the phone rang or somebody knocked on the door, this continued for a few months. I wonder whether this is because of memories from my past life because when I was little I had said when my sister had just had an injection in her arm that I had had a hole like hers in my back when I was shot on my wedding day by a solider when somebody else was my Mum however, my mum was there but she was someone else. I don't remember saying this; I don't remember a thing from my life before; there is just like a huge gap in my memory. But also I would remember songs, really old songs I've never heard before and suddenly I would know all the words but then it'd be gone. I once had the strangest dream where my little cousin who had only just been born at the time was taken to an exhibit and she turned into a dinosaur. We went back a few weeks later to pick her up and she had grown into a toddler and could walk and talk and everything. She told me that people with past lives are scarred and that I was scarred by Arthur. That was strange too.
When I was little I used to know a lot like if I wasn't paying attention in Maths I could guess the answer and get it right. My intuition used to be very good and probably still is but I stopped listening to it because I didn't understand how it worked or how I did it however, I'm trying to find the voice again.
But these shadow people used to watch me all the time, I was quite fascinated with them really, but over the years they've gone and now I get these dark swirly things that can move freely, they aren't shaped like a figure but they aren't nice. They carry this negative energy with them and I've tried using the protective white light but it can only hold them off for a little while. Recently while I was lying in bed trying to get to sleep I felt them in my room only this time I felt one of them reach into my heart and almost try to pull it out. I tried with the light but it hardly helped. I only just won and I thought if they come back they'll finish me because I don't have the energy to fight them again. And every so often I see red eyes staring at me. Are these demons or something? And if so I would be most grateful if someone told me how to deal with them, please!
I also see flashes of light, ghosts and once I saw an angel floating asleep at the bottom of my bed. But I have a spirit guide, I'm pretty sure of that because whenever I'm upset I can feel someone hold my hand and stroke my hair and I'm overwhelmed with a sense of calmness and security. Also whenever I'm about to fall over, I'm often caught by something. I always feel as if someone is looking out for me and I never get caught up in sticky situations.
Also rather weirdly more often than not when I go outside the sun comes out, if it's only for a bit, it still happens... It's odd and once when it had stopped raining my friend (who likes the rain a lot) asked the sky to rain again, when it didn't, I barely whispered it but right then it began to rain again... Is that a coincidence or something else?
I wish I understood all of this, I believe in God and love him with all my heart and once when I had tried to get rid of the negative vibes in my room with protective white light I had thanked him and then I closed my eyes and felt a light fall upon me and something so delicate brush the image of a cross on my forehead. I've never been christened before but does this mean I am? I felt utterly at peace and so happy afterward but I never opened my eyes for fear that it would go away, I wanted to know what it was going to do. But is this the reason why I have these gifts because God gave them to me?
I remember when I was little in primary school (which was right next to a church) these three girls came up to me and told me not to tell anyone but that there were demons in the church and they pointed to one of the windows in the tower and sure enough there were two pairs of red eyes staring back at us. They told me we should worship them so they didn't harm us. Of course, I got very frightened at this stage and the next day asked them about it but they didn't remember the conversation and seemed a little on edge. They hadn't gone and told anyone else but just me. Do you think they were under some sort of spell or something?
Another experience I've had is a weird one that after a while I just accepted (by the way I can also hear ghosts) but something used to lie next to me while I was sleeping in my old house. I used to feel it climb in and sometimes it would hold my hand and I would feel energy run through me and it would leave me feeling light and free and just happy. But at other times I would feel a slight burning sensation on my hand and I would look down to find a word that looked like it had been bruised into my arm as it came up in red but I could never make it out, it was always the same word. Other times I'd be pinned down but not harshly but very lightly; I could ever so easily break free but one time it was slightly stronger than usual and I heard a voice cry out "no" while again I used the protective white light so I'd feel safe. I just don't understand why they come to me and why they wanted my heart? Sometimes I feel wings bloom from my back but only for a second. Do you think I'm going through an awakening or something? I'm pretty sure I'm psychic...
Oh, and another thing to add is that I have a strange birth mark on my hip sometimes it goes a very deep shade of purple or blue and sometimes red. Its veins but my mum said it looks like a star exploding. Is this something to consider or ignore? I often wonder whether people like us have a destiny planned out, us specifically, that we were made this way to play a part in a revelation or something. But if anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated, please! Thank you for reading, sorry it's rather long...