Blessings, peace and joy and prosperity for everyone.
Someone has been hurting me with pins and needles it seems in my ears to the point that one is having trouble hearing and is coughing up blood.
One feels these piercings going into the body and my insides are hurting. One awakes in the morning and one's side is hurting so badly one fears one will be unable to walk. One is fearful of going to sleep.
How do I find out who is hurting me? Why they are hurting me? How to avoid them? How to apologize to them?
I have always tried to do the right and virtuous thing. If I have ever taken any proactive action it was after seeking help desperately for years for the sake of the weak and the helpless children. I have always tried to do the selfless thing and side with those who could not defend themselves.
I am no vigilante or maverick, I want to avoid conflict and controversy and trouble. One realizes that one can end up doing the wrong thing even when one feels one is doing the right thing.
I feel I am losing out in this "social life" thing. I already have minimal contact with humankind and I already devote myself to my books but its getting worse. One's ideas about one's own parents are different and unfortunately quite disillusioning. One's relations have deteriorated.
How to avoid the hurtful? How to apologize and let people see that one is on the right side and wants to do the right thing?
I am a poor PHD student and I am studying good things and have virtuous goals. Who is hindering me please? Why are they doing this to me?