Message From My Father, Forgiveness

My Father left this world several years ago from a massive coronary. That it happened was not unexpected, he did not take care of himself. I expected it in the near future, due to a dream where I saw his doppleganger (if I am using the correct term, a twin, but odd looking). I knew that there were things that should be dealt with between he and I, before that time. But I couldn't find the right time, I waited too long and lost the chance.

His lady friend of the time called me to say that he was in an ambulance after a heart attack. I told her I would meet her there. When I arrived I knew it was a bad sign that the chaplain was waiting for his family. I lived closer than my sisters, they wouldn't arrive for another 40 minutes. After a good half hour of waiting with the chaplain, my dad's girlfriend, K, and I were told that he was gone. Because I remained calm and was comforting K in this time, the chaplain did not know I was his daughter, he thought I was K's daughter. We were invited to go to the room to be with him.

My father had made a lot of mistakes and I and my siblings had a painful relationship with him over the years. I leaned down to give him a kiss. I sensed that he was still there, his spirit had not yet fully left the body. I whispered "I forgive you, dad". Before I knew it, I was crying and blubbering that I never hated him, I always loved him, I'm sorry I was so angry for so long. This happened with K, the chaplain and nurses in the room, I just couldn't stop it.

Then I heard him. It was his voice, inside my head. I heard every word as clear as I have ever heard anything in my life. He scolded me, "What are you cryin' for! You know you don't have to worry 'bout that!" I was instantly calmed and felt such peace. It was his voice, exactly the kind of thing he would say, exactly the way he would say it. When I told my mother the story she agreed that it was just what he would say, just as he would say it.

I am sure that this wasn't just some hallucination like some psycho-babble way of self-soothing, it was too clear, too real. I shared this experience with my sisters, and my brother, who lives on the other side of the country. I told them that I believe the message was for them too.

My father has visited in my dreams a few times since. He never had anything meaningful to convey, I swear it seemed more of a social call. If that doesn't sound too wierd to anybody.

My mom dreamed of him too. They were long since divorced. In the dream, he was dressed like Fred Astaire but all in white, and he was dancing. Two things that are not like him. We believe that it means he is truly well, and happy, things that he often didn't seem to be when on Earth.