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Why am I Alive?

 

When I was young, small boy, I used to go into these trances-like state of mind. I would ask my self "why am I alive?". I would ponder on this question, eventually by concentrating on this question I would feel as if (very hard to explain) everything seemed surreal. I remember perhaps seeing my self or seeing a light. After these trances states I would feel very satisfied as if I had gained the knowledge in which I was seeking although, of course, I was unable to remember what it was. These states of mind happened on many occasions when I was young. One instance which my mother remembers very well was when I was brought to a sound proof room, as a very young child, to test the hearing in my ears. The room would give a pulse vibrating noise. Well, they came to the conclusion that I was deaf, because I did not even notice the pulse, but my mother knew better, she snapped me back to reality and did the test again. Sure enough my hearing was fine. Many years later, I have not been able to reach those states of mind that I had as a child, it feels as if my head is full of distractions, and responsibilities are clouding the clarity I once had. I know I can do it again, I just need to clear my mind. But it is easier said then done. Perhaps you have heard of similar scenario's with other people? My question is am I alone? was this just a freak occurance or is this a psychic experience?

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lauterb (110 posts)
 
4 years ago (2016-02-07)
Dear TriforceV
These are old and basic questions that very few people can answer, I will summarize what I know and them I will give the source for your own research:
Who am I? You are an immortal spirit created by God!
Where am I? You are now in your journey of evolution to perfection.
Why I am here? This place is the suitable place for your actual life (encarnation) to pass through the experiences you need to evolve towards your perfection.
Your/Our goal in life is to get ride off our bad tendencies, bad habits, get good habits and good attitudes, pay our debts from this and from past lives.
You can get more details on The Spirits' Book both by Allan Kardec
Http://www.ssbaltimore.org/PDF/Spirits.pdf
Good study!
stealthsilent1 (5 posts)
 
6 years ago (2013-11-16)
Yo Jeff. I'm also a philosopher, I loooove getting into those super focused states and just. Thinking. Yea, but I'm with you. By the time I was 19, I had life completely figured out, Jesus, I had a huge book that I read, it was called, a treasury of traditional wisdom. It had all the religions and all the wise people that ever lived. And to any other person, it was one boring book, but to me, it was filled with wonders and lessons, and lessons to life, lessons to mistakes that can be easily bypassed, I was king. But just like you, I went to college, and that place broke me, I wasn't the same afterwords, I was full of fear of what others thought of me. And I couldn't get into that clarity state where I understood, and I thought of life and its problems and its wonders. Yea, my problem is I bottle up all my emotions and just go numb, the exact opposite of a psychic, I feel nothing, its horrible. And another mistake is I hide from my problems, I don't face it head on. So 1 year becomes 5 years becomes 10 years becomes my entire life until I do what I'm afraid of. I know exactly what your problem is, get a friend, talk about what's bothering you. Get back on your feet. Don't take crap from anyone, stand up for yourself. And life your life the way you want to live it, not how other people say you should live it. Whatever the problem is. Talk to someone you trust completely and work through it. If you just sit there like an idiot doing nothing youre going to waste your entire life and die full of regret.
IslVoter (257 posts)
 
7 years ago (2012-07-20)
Correction--

Previous post was directed to Angel225 (not AngelR).

Sorry, and now this message is too short and I have to fill it up with...lalalalalalalalalal... 😁

Lora
IslVoter (257 posts)
 
7 years ago (2012-07-20)
AngelR--

You, my friend, have been given the lesson--over and over and over again. You are not meant to die--until you accomplish what you yourself set aside for you to do here. I don't know what that is. Consciously, you might not either.

But one thing is clear from your life--don't continue to test it. You've hurt yourself enough. It's time to be kind to you, to forgive you, to let yourself off the hook and allow you to be who you are.

Have you had the trances since the early days? I'm wondering if you remember anything of those experiences.

Your other-worldly helpers are very close for you, so you shouldn't have trouble believing they are there. Now if you can rechannel that belief into asking them to help you navigate through a happy life--that would be great.

Do you have a dream for a life you would like to have? What would it look like? Think about it in detail--what it would feel like to be happy, about the relationships you had and how you were treated, about how you expressed yourself. Think a lot about what your ideal life would be like.

Gradually, you'll attract that life to you--the pieces will begin to fall into place. It won't necessarily be quick, but if you acknowledge each little piece, if you are grateful for them, it will begin to change and you will begin to feel differently about yourself.

I am truly saddened by your pain. There is loving help around you--in the form of your guides and helpers who appeared in your Near Death Experiences--and even here. There are many around you that you are not even aware of.

I hope you will begin to see you in the life you deserve.

Isle - Lora
Angel225 (1 posts)
 
7 years ago (2012-07-19)
wow this is amazing that I found this site, I thought I was the only one that had these experinces as a child and as an adult. It all started when I was in 6th grade I used to blackout and when I woke from the trance my classmates told me my eyes were moving fast and no one was able to wake me up. They were always making fun of me because this would only happen to me. I also remember choking on a piece of steak not able to breath and just passing out, when that happened I remember going in a tunnel made up of clouds and sun rays and at the end of the tunnel there was just bright light everywhere and then shadow figuers appeared one with a huge crown on the head and that's the one that touched my forehead and I woke up in the hospital 40 minutes later still not able to breath and still choking with the piece of steak, doctors and nurses arguing about cutting my throat or taking it out with a long pair of tweezers, they ended up taking it out with the tweezers. There were other incidents that I remember, one was when I was about 11 years old, not long after my near death experience, I remember I didn't want to be alive anymore because everyone always made fun of me and never wanted to be my friends so I was alsways trying to kill myself, I drank 1 whole bottle of aspirin with a bottle of Vodka, I went into a trance and then woke up like nothing happened, I have taken clorox bleach wake up to nothing happening to me, hung myself with steel chains and they broke, I have cut my wrist many times and the cuts didn't want bleed or even hurt sometimes. It has been many years since all this happened to me until like 4 weeks ago I was in the shower crying and asking Why don't I die when I want to, Why am I living this miserable life that I hate so much, and I went into a trance and my whole since I was a little kid until now flashed before my eyes and a voice said you will not die until I say you can. I also asked why and the voice said read Mathew 25 31-46 because you are the one that will judge them all the same way they judged you... I have never been religious and was never interested in reading anything spiritual... I was wondering what does this mean?
truely-unknown (10 stories) (106 posts)
 
8 years ago (2011-12-16)
Still happens to me, but I just let my mind go empty before I let myself think up a single question from my subconscious. There is a difference to how it works for me though, if the question was "why am I alive' I would see a reapeat of every one of my near death experiences and I would see why I didn't die.
Kerry88s (1 stories) (2 posts)
 
9 years ago (2010-05-19)
I seriously thought I was the only one who used to experience this. I used to ask myself the question "why am I alive" Why me"
And go into a weird trance state. Like you, it was numerous times when I was a child.

I do go into deep daydreams quite easily and frequently. Which is actually the reason why I have chosen not to drive, I don't trust myself behind the wheel due to my random trances.
trishkicks (1 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-02-07)
wow. Yes, I have had the exact same experiences and only when I was younger as well. Except instead of asking myself "why was I alive" I would ask myself "who am i?" I would go under a trance and experience the same feelings you described. It was an out of body experience, I am sure of it. It would be calming and absolutely surreal... But also frightening. To get myself out of it I would concentrate on my best friend and how he knew who I was (yeah sounds weird, but that's what got me out of it... I'd just keep on repeating to myself that he knew me). Many times this trance would happen during car rides while I zoned out looking out the window. I haven't had this happen in a while... But it was a common state in my youth.
What the guy above said about Ramana Maharshi seems to be fitting. It's also odd because when I was young I had vrey hindu beliefs without ever understanding or realizing that they were Hindu, I was raised in a catholic family - hardly even knew what it was until I got older.

It's cool that I found this post pretty randomly.:) I like this site...
iid (3 posts)
 
11 years ago (2009-02-03)
This happened to me a lot years ago. I couldn't go 80 percent of the day without thinking that way. Since then my minds life has evolved alot. I used to question if I was the only one that's real, but I've found that is so futile. A feeling of seperateness does nothing. Realize that all the other "I"s are just as much an "I" as you, and feel the energy of the collective "I"
Katie (guest)
 
12 years ago (2007-09-29)
I really don't understand what you are talking about 😢 it nothing to me I don't understand what are you trying to explain. I think you should be on the spiritual experiences website because I don't understand all that kind of stuff so I would say share your experiences with others on that website. When I go on that website only once I did I didn't understand none of it telling you the truth. I found things out from my mind and dreams and you are confusing me cause I don't know what your talking about it doesn't make sense to me.
BlueRose (1 stories) (5 posts)
 
13 years ago (2007-02-20)
Its Nice to find others with simular life experiance. As a child people/family always called me spacey or a daydreamer, I was unable to drive until I was twenty because of spacing off. When I was older I went to a hpnotherapist to help with some sleeping issues, I was told I was a self-hpynotic person, I've learned to control it over the years,through meditation. Maybe you can reconnect yourself with your inner-child, through meditation, its the only way i've found to quite all the chatter & distraction of everyday life.
Kiron (guest)
 
13 years ago (2007-02-01)
I am glad I came across this on the internet. For years I wondered if I was the only one who had such experiences when I was younger. I remember doing it alot. Phasing out all reality and seeing darkness. Out of the darkness an image would form but was always black and white, for an instant it would become crystal clear and then disappear. It was as if I learned or was remembering something that I had forgotten. I don't remember blinking much during this either. I don't think it was my imagination, it didn't feel like it. I've tried for years to be able to do it again, but my mind is so full of pain and questions such as "Why am I alive?", that I am unable. If you have anymore information about this, please respond. I need to find out more.
Patricia (guest)
 
13 years ago (2006-11-21)
I have had the same experience. I have had it numerous times. I never liked the surreal feeling. But to me it almost seemed like Earth was surreal, and the information was coming from reality.
Martin (128 posts) mod
 
13 years ago (2006-11-01)
Hi Geoffrey, I would not called those psychic experiences per se, but more like spiritual experiences where you reached a different state of mind. Maybe the article on Brain Wave States can help in that regard. Total absorbtion into an existential question is a famous hindu practice (I guess buddhist also) to try and reach enlightment, meaning, the discovery of your real Self outside of that little personality that lives in a relative and temporal world. One of the greatest Indian saint, Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi, would give this exercise to his followers, focusing on the question: "What Am I?". After some time and a lot of perseverance, your conscience falls into a state called "samadhi", where you can appear oblivious to the external world, but experience total consciousness.

Ramana Maharshi would also had your kind of experience when he was young (before his "enlightment") and his friends would make fun of him, even throwing rocks at him, and he would not even react. They thought he was a really deep sleeper, hehe. Who knows, maybe you're destined to discover what you really are in this incarnation.

For more reading:

http://www.ramana-maharshi.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samadhi

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