Is My Psychic Relationship Real Or Imaginary?

I've been in a "psychic relationship" with someone for a few years now. Whilst we've seen each other physically, and communicated with gestures etc from a distance, we haven't actually met. Not only would meeting be extremely difficult, but we've both developed a horrible fear of meeting, in case we turn out to be wrong and the relationship isn't real. I'm sharing this to ask for opinions on that, since I'm sure there's people who know more about this than I do.

It's quite hard to describe without full context, but my partner is a performer and I first saw him at one of his events, which I enjoyed so I kept going back. He began to show affection and signs of interest from a distance, which I denied since I thought there was no reason he'd want me. Eventually, it became so obvious that I accepted it and began to feel attached to him. We began to develop what seemed like a psychic connection; it started with a strong feeling that we had a bond, then visions and vague ways of communicating by telepathy (hope that's the correct term). As it went on longer, we were able to communicate properly by telepathy, and spend time together via astral projection. I kept going to his events, and we'd always have this thing going on where we would communicate via gestures, lyrics, etc.

Sometimes I'd telepathically ask him to do things on stage and he would. It seems that he's written about me, since all of his latest pieces describe an affair with a woman exactly like me, in a similar situation. I've known many things about him and his circumstances before they became public information. He's also posted things online after agreeing to do that as a sign that it's real.

However, there are also things which imply that this could all be in my head; such as not knowing where he was or what he was doing at times, and occasional affection for the partner he's supposedly leaving. These things have certainly become less as our relationship has progressed, but every now and then he does something that makes me think "this can't possibly be real". I've blamed these actions on addiction problems and mental illness, since he suffers with both, but is that an excuse? Could all of the physical proof be coincidence?

We have had a few opportunities to meet, but when faced with each other we froze and turned away from it, in fear of finding out that it's not real. I know that one of us has to make the jump one day, but before I do anything crazy, I want to know if it's even possible for this to be real. It's come to mean so much to me, I feel like this man is my soulmate and we want to spend our lives together; but I just want to know whether I'm crazy or not.