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A History Of Not Understanding

 

Let me begin by saying, I have no real understanding to date of my experiences, and I am now about to turn 29 years old. That being said, any insight, comments or advice would be very much welcome.

From a very young age, I'd say about 3-4 years old, I've always been very "aware". That's the best way to describe it. I just knew things, felt things and saw things beyond what I believe a child should. For ex./ when I was asked, "What happened to the dinosaurs?" the expected answer was that they went extinct. Instead I said, "A lot of them died, but some are still in the water." Things like this were a regular occurrence. I even had opinions on things like Atlantis at 5! Opinions that went beyond what was commonly taught at the time. The teachers had to start skipping over me when playing the "guess what number I'm thinking game, and get to do something fun" because the other kids actually complained that I always got the number right first shot, and it wasn't fair. Fast forward, and around the time of 11-13 yo, I recall waking up one day and actually noticing that my 5 senses seemed dulled. Like someone had thrown a veil over them. And in retrospect, that is also around the time I started other things started happening.

The weekend my family friend died, I kept having nightmares or black cars crashing & breaking glass, it was always night time in the dream, and it was always the auditory screeching and crunching that woke me up. That Sunday, at 2:30 in the morning, some kids threw a cinder block through his windshield which caused not only his instantaneous death, but a crash. This was the first of many dreams to come true. I dreamt of a room in my school in detail, months before I moved. The colors, the shape & size, patterns, and how all the girls were sitting were on the mark.

By the time I turned 15-16 things escalated. I started feeling energy and reacting to places and people rather strongly, and sometimes violently. I'd refuse to go under certain bridges or not go in a room, get bad feelings from people or decide to follow my gut against all logic. At the same time certain people would put me at ease, or strike me as bright and warm. Others I'd feel connections to. At home however, I became frightened of my room and the hallway. I'd see shadow shapes, or hear whispered words. Things would turn off and on specifically around me. Usually when I was alone, but sometimes even my mother would witness it. And all of it ONLY happened to me. My dreams became lucid in nature, to the point where I was aware of the fact that I was asleep, and move through out like I was in another reality just checking things out.

However, it seems when my fear grew too great one night (17yo) I had another lucid dream where I recall every detail of walking up stone steps and into a great library. I spoke to an old man in another language and read a book in a completely different tongue. When I woke up that time, it was like a switch had been flipped off. There's more to this story, but that's one of its own. Anyhow, from that moment on, it felt like that hypersensitivity was gone. No more violent reactions, or things turning on and off on their own.

By age 20, what was left is that I still had strong intuition, dreams of future events, that strong sense of knowing, and a couple assorted little things. I no longer picked up numbers or symbols as well. But for some reason I still picked up images in a vague sense (colors, shapes, water, etc), and have very strong color and emotional ties to things.

In more recent years, now that I'm 28, I also pick up energy again, and don't really know why.

I do not meditate, I have NO training whatsoever psychically, and don't know at this point what all that stuff in the past was truly about. It seems to be starting up again though, slowly but surely. Do I continue as normal? What's going on to begin with? If you read this much, thanks. Any input would be very helpful.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, -Nixxi-, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Marz13 (1 posts)
 
5 years ago (2015-01-23)
I am similar to you, as a young kid I started to question many things in life, things that have more than upset me, I feel like I have something with me that makes me feel differently special, one time about 8 months ago I was with my partner, and I had a vision that he was going to get hit by a car, I didn't tell him anything because I thought it was stupid, but when he dropped me off and decided to go home I didn't hear from him until the next day when I got the news that he was in the hospital! Thank God he's alive. Another thing is that whenever someone does me wrong something really bad happens to them, like full on karma tight off the bat, this has happened ever since I was little and I honestly think they aren't coincidences, but looking at your stories and several others make me think that there is something else, that I might not be the only one 😉
AnneV (4 stories) (1037 posts) mod
 
6 years ago (2013-07-20)
Fears is natural and we all go through it. This is still very much an unknown to you so the fear will stay with you until you develop a certain comfort level. For 99% of the people out there working on their abilities, they survive whatever fear they feel. In other words, none of this is going to kill you. It will startle you, surprise you, frighten you because you don't know how far it will go or if you are prepared, but not more than that. Fear kept me working from progressing for years until I just got tired of it ruling my life so I pressed forward.

The good news is that you at least have the internet. When I was going through all of my paranormal experiences in my early years, the internet was a total unknown to the public and it was ten times more hush hush than it is now. You can either google a specific topic that interests you or you can definitely go online and buy a book, or go to the library and get material for free. To have these forums and free webpages is a great resource.

There is no race for development. It will unfold as you are ready. Some people just decide they are happy with the fleeting image, the empath insight here and there and call it good. Some people shoot for the moon and want to develop as much as they can in this life time.

There are several levels as to what to do next. Do you want to work on this? What specifically do you want to work on? The precognition? The lucidity in dreams, which is another form of astral projection? Pick one or two topics of interest and start educating yourself. Use the vast resources at your fingertips. Most books give you step-by-step guidelines for how to increase your ability but always remember, it's all about vibration. The more finely you vibrate from what you eat, your positive thoughts, your calm life, the more your filter (your body) will allow the flow if energy and information. So here is how this looked like for me. I would have the occassional out of boedy experience and that interested me. I picked up Robert Monroe's books and read them. He gave recommendations on how to do it. So I started maximizing sleep, doing his recommendations, and pretty soon, started having them much more frequently and with greater control. That was a launching pad into many more things. You're welcome to go check out my sister site on AP (www.astralvoyage.com). It all starts out with those first steps.

Best of luck to you!
Anne
-Nixxi- (1 stories) (1 posts)
 
6 years ago (2013-07-19)
I thank you for not only reading my story, but taking the time to say so much. The truth is on some level I do trust my self, but I'm still afraid. Primarily in my teenage years, I felt like nothing was in my control. Whether I wanted to or not, I'd see things, hear things, and experience things that at that time were largely negative. It could have been a manifestation of my own emotions, or I could have been attracting it all-- I don't really know. But recently while a lot of what I experience no longer induces fear, sometimes I do tense up when I pick up negativity. At heart I would really like to learn, grow, explore, and most of all control... But memories of past experiences create a level of fear and apprehension that keep me where I am. On top of that, I don't know where to even begin in terms of developing or finding guidance. 😕
AnneV (4 stories) (1037 posts) mod
+1
6 years ago (2013-07-19)
"Normal" is subjective. We are all psychic to one degree or another. Just like anyone can pick up a paint brush and "paint" and while some can produce doodles others can produce masterpieces. Just like an artist, some people are born with inherent talent but also like artists, a person can increase their psychic ability through specific efforts.

Our chakras are very open when we are young. This is why children often see what parents think are imaginary friends when in fact, it's often a passed on relative, a friend from another past life, etc. The veil slowly conceals what comes so naturally but it does have phases of coming in and out depending on what's going on with our life. Some stresses induce it, some stresses subdue it. It can also vary depending on our diet, habits, stress level, the energy in the home you live in and your relationships.

As far as what to do, what do you want to do? This is your life. You can either ignore your abilities, keep taking notes for interest sake, or expand them.

We are all going to pass from this plane of existence at some point. You're only 28 now but trust me, the years slip by so quickly. In almost all of my out-of-body experiences, I generally only run into totally unconscious humans because few work on their spirituality and natural born talents. The world as we know it is focused on the exterior of the human life (what we have, who we know, what we wear, how much stuff we own and techy devices), not the interior (learning unconditional love, figuring out why our dreams come true who and what we really are). You sounds smart and I'm sure trust your own self, so where do you want to take yourself? Your fleeting experiences are just a drop in the bucket. You could be in libraries and higher planes on a nightly basis and completely transform not only your view of your own life, but your soul, your path, your relationships, your abilities and so on. There is so much out there but we've got to open our eyes (third eye included).

Thanks so much for sharing yourself.

Anne

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