Alright before I begin let me just say that everything I am about to write happened spontaneously. Meaning that I happened to look around the internet in curiosity and somehow came across this website. I literally signed up right before this post just so maybe I can meet people who can clear up the fog for me. I'm rather hesitant when it comes to discussing spiritual/supernatural topics because I almost always end up feeling like a nut that everyone is ridiculing. I am sincerely hoping there will be some honest opinions and insight to what I describe.
(I'm not sure if this information affects anything but I'm also a male in his early twenties.)
So to begin I'll start off with my main curiosity. Far as I can remember I've always had these experiences of feeling energies in an environment. It's hard to describe because it's not something I do by choice but involuntarily. Often times I would be walking, hanging out, everyday activities and all of a sudden I would be distracted by a physical sensation. It usually happens in specific locations, certain rooms inside a building, public spaces, etc.
One of my earliest memories is in my childhood bedroom. I remember very clearly playing downstairs in a decent 2 story home in the suburbs NJ. This happened quite often but I still remember hearing someone call out my name from upstairs. Every time I assumed it was my family members calling me up to do chores or whatever. Many times I would go up no one would be up on the second floor. I would then wander checking the rooms to see if anyone called. Every time I reached my room I immediately felt fear.
(Keep in mind this is day time. Large bedroom shared with my brother, well lit with sunlight, nothing out of the normal, nothing really to scare a little kid.)
I have no reasonable explanation as to why I felt fear I just did. It was a very primal fear no anticipation of what's to come just I don't know very uneasy. Even with the fear I would wander into my bedroom. All I can remember is this overwhelming feeling, a strong presence. Usually had me sprinting out of my room less than a minute.
The physical feeling itself feels like a electrical surge that just charges up and down my body. It's a little more than your average chill or goosebumps believe me. Along with the surge there is a strong sense of someone watching you, presence that is hard to ignore because you feel it both mentally and physically. I would sometimes find myself just completely focused on a particular spot as if I I had the ability to see these invisible forces. In the past I've had people worry and to some I would explain. Obviously that doesn't work.
That being said I've had some who would at least give me an explanation to why they don't believe. They would tell me its just the chills, your imagination is too wild, your a desperate attention whore, devil is with you, yeah on and on.
There's a problem with a lot of the possible causes. Most people assume I'm in fear looking for a ghost or an explanation. And maybe to some that's what really happened but as for me I'm just living my daily life. In no way am I trying to trigger an incident nor am I focusing on it but I have these undeniable experiences.
Up until recent years I was uncomfortable with my ability. It's the most frequent and I know something is there I just don't want to admit it. Many times I would be scared because of the simple fact its unknown. But more than that was the physical feeling of my body reacting and feeling the heavy presence. Almost as if you can weigh the room's atmosphere on your shoulders, you can even sense the intention at times. Occasionally it would get to the point where I could not stay in a room due to the overwhelming feeling of discomfort.
These occurrences still press on today but I'm a lot more comfortable with it. In fact a recent event had me expose it to a friend of mine. He was quite surprised. This probably was a bad idea but at the time a friend of mine was really into ghost hunting. Too much TV... Anyway I thought it be fun to tag along for his investigations. Sure I had my worth of weird stuff but the idea of a ghost appearing seemed exciting! Of course I was doubtful that would happen but its an interesting activity either way.
Long story short, one day we went to a bridge famous for suicides. Followed my friend's lead and tried to collect any evidence. Nothing... That night at home both of us are chilling and we decide to try again. My guess is we brought something back. It started off with nothing and I was dumb enough to provoke it. I actually started cursing at it in a joking manner thinking its all fun and games. Soon it was hitting me again very strong. I was being drawn to certain areas and my friend looked at me with a face full of doubt. I grabbed his arm and pulled him to wherever I felt it. Soon as I positioned him he immediately jumped up. He was shocked he was feeling something. He said his body was going rather numb and there's a sensation flowing between his head and arms. The night escalated and by the end of it we saw objects move and a crumpled napkin literally hopped across the table. You could imagine our faces... We sat their in total silence maybe about a whole minute before we confirmed everything we saw.
As a child I also used to have constant nightmares of the dead? I used to have nightmares of talking to random people, or strangers following me around, some doing harm to me. I usually ended up dying in my dreams. Like a movie playing with me dying and feeling the terror. At times I would wake up from these dreams and have this overwhelming sense of someone being right next to my bed.
As I grew older these dreams started fading and I started to have constant dejavus. Even today I have these dreams. No real story, no connection, more like a slide show of random clips. I usually remember one or two clips out of the bunch. I swear to you they happen as I saw them. Unfortunately I can't adjust the dreams to my own benefits haha.
I apologize for the long message and the organization of thoughts pretty messy I'm sure. But I hope maybe this is enough for someone to explain what is different about me? I have many more examples and a few years ago I actually reached the conclusion where I believed I'm just a crazy nut; due to some activity going on in the house at that time. My mother did not sign me up for any psychiatric evaluation. I figured it was a mother's thinking, "My baby can't be crazy." And years later I found out the reason was; she too had some experiences. Out of everyone though I had the most unexplained encounters. I don't know what it really means to be psychic or spiritually gifted but I do know I seem to have encounters most others don't have. Is this something you can hone? Something your born with? Any insight will be appreciated.