Why Isn't It Clear This Time?

I am in a confusing situation with my psychic abilities giving me two different answers

I would like to hear what are peoples thoughts on my situation on breaking up with my partner of 6 years (which we are on a break now) and following my intuition and ending it once and for all or following my feelings/energy and staying with him which are current and very very strong.

Here are some examples of what level my abilities are. I am currently studying tarot and working on chakras. I have the ability to experience emotional trauma and then block it out of my mind and heart for good. This doesn't work for severe trauma such as very close death or emotionally hurting like infinitely. I can't block those off it is the opposite I can't ever get rid of the feelings attached even decades later.

I have had psychic experiences from a young age. My mama also has. We are both very intuitive and extremely sensitive emotionally and physically (which isn't all that good we both suffer from stomach aches often).

My biggest and most loud experience I have ever had was when I was suspecting a boyfriend of 2 years at the time was being unfaithful. I had no clue until one day I was suddenly feeling very uneasy towards him. And each day that week it got stronger and stronger and I was picking up on lies etc. BUT I HAD NO HARD EVIDENCE and I knew I had nothing to prove until I did. I went to bed asked my angels and the next morning woke up and was sitting in the kitchen and this very loud voice said to me "GO CHECK THE RUBBISH BIN" I went and had a look at the small trash can in the cupboard and noticed it was empty. Then I heard the voice tell me "THE BIG GARBAGE OUTSIDE" so I went outside and opened up the big rubbish can and this presence just took me straight to a particular rubbish bag. I opened it up and laying on top was a letter. A letter from the girl he had been seeing behind my back talking about how much she loved him and why wouldn't he open up to her. I don't remember the rest of it. But I was more amazed how this voice had guided me to it. I had all the proof I needed:) and I went and confronted him and he dropped his cup and said how on earth did you find that. He had no way of getting out of it.

Another time my mama had moved into this little cute cottage and the minute I walked into there I felt like this old lady was following me around everywhere. I felt safe but uneasy at the same time that she was jealous of me but liked me. Anyway I stayed there for a few days and by the end of these days I was feeling very odd. The real estate agent came around to talk to my mum who was away and I questioned her about the house. She said it belonged to an old couple who the wife of the couple just passed away and the husband now lives in a old persons home but isn't happy. So this explained a few things. I went back inside and mentally told her to be patient that her husband will be with her soon and I am not trying to intrude. I found out two weeks later he died. When I went back into the house it felt light and empty.

In the same house my mama has a picture of her mum when was 4 in a garden (and she looks very very similar to my daughter who they both looked like Shirley Temple to give a visual - blonde curly hair blue eyes big smile (my grandmas picture has been colored in) anyway I had gone to see my medium that day, an old lady who doesn't charge a cent and she was AMAZING. She said there is a Nellie and a Helen standing next to me (it took me 10 minutes to work out who on earth she was talking about so I rang my mum to ask her if she had every heard of them and she told me both my great grandmas where called Ellen (so close to Helen) but one changed it to Nellie because she hated the name Ellen) and they both said to me apparently get your grandma to sort her knees out before its too late and the stairs are doing her well in the meantime to keep them strong (she has stairs in her house) so I went back to my mums house to wait for her to arrive and I sat down on my grandmothers chair next to her photo that was on the wall. I started to get sleepy and was woken by this noise. I saw my grandmothers picture fly off the wall onto the floor and knocked me in the knee in the process. I was like okay okay I will tell her! (mind you I told her about her knees but she is too stubborn to do much about it)

I was a very independent child and am still now. I find my thoughts have always been too mature for my age when I was younger. I worried about the world at a young age but also was impatient to experience being older (I moved out of home at 16, had a full time career at 18 and my own business and a mama then at 21 - all by choice not mistakes)

I also knew when my daughter was going to be born (22nd the number came to be 4 years before she was conceived and I went and bought a lotto ticket using that number after it came to me and won $400) I shocked everyone at my babyshower telling them the date because it was nowhere near my due date. And then it came true! I also knew I was pregnant and going to have a strong pregnancy (after some scares) when I dreamt of her and what she would look like and that I had 100 lines on the pregnancy test. I woke up and told my partner I was pregnant and was going to have a girl and she would be special. It took the doc another week or so to even confirm I was 4 weeks - I had been trying for 12 months to have a baby.

I then had a vision towards the end of my pregnancy that my due dates where incorrect and I was more advanced than they thought. I had a vision that she was asking my help and couldn't breathe... So I went to the hospital and they tried to send me home and said I had 2 weeks left before my due date. I said my baby is already due. I told them I would take painkillers if they sent me home (a little trick to make them keep in) so they said they would try and induce me. 4 days later I had my daughter. NOT ONLY WAS SHE OVERDUE AND WRINKLY HER CORD WAS WRAPPED AROUND HER NECK TWICE SO TIGHT THEY HAD TO RESUSCITATE HER FOR 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE WAS BORN. They told me she wouldn't have lived past another 24-48 hours in my womb.

Basically this is just the stuff that comes to mind now. A lot of this was received when not expecting it and it was either clear voices or really strong energy feeling that I had no choice but to just go with it and look into it. I have a voice constantly going in my head. I am working on listening to it. The voice sounds like me which makes it weird. Probably why I choose to ignore it half the time

I am in a situation now with my partner of 6 years. My instinct on one side is telling me its not right and my instinct on the other side won't let him go. We have broken up twice and we just keep getting back together and we both agree with have this insane chemistry and connection (I think we are definitely soul mates - the attraction is crazy) BUT the voice inside said I can't stay and I must leave. It going to end badly and tries to highlight his negative traits which do annoy me a lot and I do worry about them long term if they would drive me crazy. I have been trying to listen to the voice and I finally after so many years gave in. But now it doesn't make any sense because I feel like I have lost a limb. My thoughts would be once I left I would get that oh that was the right decision but instead it runs through my head all the time how much I am going against the force by leaving him because of that voice in my head and my stomach tells me to leave when I am with him... I have gone to see so many people about it and talked to so many people and have tried to get answers from within and readings etc. But its all 50/50. I would say most have said its over. But a lot of them said I haven't made up my mind and can't get out of limbo until I do.

My spiritual advisor told me she asked her spirits and while she was asking she got an electric shock and this was telling her I needed to leave. She practically begged me to leave him. But she also said words don't mean anything I have to want to actually leave him. She also said (and one other person has told me this when I had a reading) she believes we have a past life connection and in the past life I was a nurse and he was a soldier and he felt like he would die I left so I had a lot of pressure on my self not to be able to get out there and live because if I did he could die. And one day finally I left to go visit a friend and he died while I was gone. And I have never forgiven my self. It was so cray when she said it because its how it is now. He is so dependent on me for living love affection he showers me in it and says he can't explain this feeling but he needs me he needs to hug me and he fears I will leave to go out and never come back (ive never told him about the past life reading)

He actually doesn't believe in anything he is a scientist. So he is all technical. But I did confuse him one day by getting him to write a letter to his angel about asking for a house we wanted to rent as we had just started looking (we hadn't found it yet) so he decided to be a smart donkey and write down that he wanted a very specific house and decided he wanted a house just like my previous house (which I left a year before and rented it out an old work employer) and started writing down all the stuff that was in the house knowing that it would be impossible to replicate it. Well about a week later after he wrote the letter my old employer came to me and asked if I wanted to rent my house back because he just got offered a new job in another state. My boyfriend didn't really know what to say haha.

Sorry for the novel. Its been great writing all the experiences down.