Alright, this is my first time actually posting or writing about these experiences in any sort of medium (no pun intended), but I guess I could start from the beginning of the odd experiences I have had and build up to the latest manifestation. From the time I was a little girl I had been pegged as having an overactive imagination, which I suppose stemmed from my propensity for reading fantasy novels from the age of 6 or 7 onward. However powerful my imagination might be, there are several things that I have never been able to explain logically.
One thing that I cannot explain are these dreams or flashes of insight that would come to me seemingly out of nowhere and turn out to come true. Or feelings of foreboding that bad things are going to happen that end up happening. Nothing exactly major, I suppose, but enough to warrant my attention.
The first experience that I suppose I could remember happened when I was in 6th grade. I was still living with my mom at the time, and had had a dream the night before about planes. Very vague, I know, but I woke up with the feeling that something major was going to happen and that it was going to involve planes, which increased when a low-flying plane flew over my apartment around 6:30 a.m. I went into school like every day, but still had this feeling of foreboding. Then it came time for chorus, and it really hit the fan. Suddenly there was a loudspeaker announcement which informed us that the World Trade Center had been crashed into by a plane. I was shocked as immediately my teacher turned on the news, which showed footage of the attack.
Another experience that I can recall with some clarity happened when I was in 10th grade in November 2005. The night before I had school I had a dream about a Muslim woman who was being evacuated from a hotel with a child after it had been bombed. There was a story that built up to it that is no longer clear, but the attack had taken place in Jordan. I knew this because in the dream a map of Jordan flashed into my mind. When I woke up this was still fresh in my mind, but I had no clue what it meant or why I was thinking of bombings in Jordan at all since there was nothing in my conscious life to influence it and I rarely paid attention to the news. Then I went to Travel and Hospitality class, where everyone in the class was fixated on the TV. The big breaking news was a series of bombings on three hotels located in Jordan. These are now known as the 2005 Amman bombings.
The next experience happened in December of that year. I was in class wrapping Christmas presents for Travel and Hospitality and had somehow gotten into a conversation with a classmate about my uncle Jeff, who had had a triple bypass earlier year. Suddenly I had a flash as a voice popped into my head telling me that my uncle John would die on December 21st of that year. I was confused at the time as I hadn't heard from my actual uncle John since 1995 and thought that it had meant Uncle Jeff, so I kept my ear open and pestered my dad about him frequently. Then on Christmas day my dad called me. One of his friends, who I was pretty close to and had always called Uncle John, was found dead in his apartment the night before. The coroner had said he had been dead for 4 days, which put his death at exactly December 21st.
Another unusual occurrence is this persistent feeling I have had throughout my life of deja vu, that I have met many of the people I have met before I met them, had had the same experiences and sat through the same classes before, had the same conversations.
I had started to really pay attention to this when I entered College. I had signed up three College Prep courses and when I entered the first one I was startled to find that I recognized both the teacher and all of the students in the class, even though the only one I had ever seen before was my friend Tom. I kept asking the girl who sat next to me if we had ever met before, and I think I might have freaked her out. The same thing happened with the teachers in my other two courses.
This pales in comparison to my most recent/ongoing experience.
Over the past two months these feelings have been growing stronger. I've been trying to figure out what has been going on, why conversations and events I've had and shared with various people in my life seemed like I was repeating them over and over again. I kept having visions in my head after and before events happened that kept playing out, presenting me with possible outcomes to each event. The thing that really made this odd I didn't realize at first; That was that they had happened before, not in reality but in a series of dreams or visions that I vaguely remembered having when I lived in my old apartment in Bellevue about 4 or 5 years ago. These were brought back to me because I remembered the significance of one phrase from the dreams/visions which I had when I was failing out of massage therapy: "I tried, Granddad. I tried." Remembering this brought me realization, as it was significant because that was the phrase I uttered in the dream/vision those years ago, but not because of failing massage therapy. In the vision/dream I had at that time I had actually failed out of Medical Assisting, which I had never even heard of then, let alone considered it as a career option. In the dreams/ visions I had told him "I tried, Granddad, I tried." His response " I know, kid" At that time I was discussing dropping out of college with my step-grandma and how Granddad would react to that, and I stated that he would probably say "At least you tried, kid" bearing that dream/vision in mind, only to be reminded that that is something he would never say.
Things started spiraling when I went to camp this July for the first time since 2008. I found myself unable to sleep, with barely an appetite. I was truly depressed, and started realizing the shambles my life was. I ended up having very familiar conversations, leading a nature hike I swore I had already led. This continue to snowball with me getting more and more freaked out.
I didn't really figure out why things were so familiar to me until I was heading to Human Growth and Development on August 18th of this year and had seen a man who seemed very familiar to me in the hall. Indeed there was no possible way it could be mistaken identity, for he looked exactly like how I somehow knew he would. Average height, mixed race, Afro, and big headphones. I kept wishing to myself that he wasn't in my class, only to be dismayed and slightly nervous that he was and that he sat two seats away from me. Dismayed because I had seen one of the outcomes of us meeting, and that I would end up liking him only to be hurt. The other was us dating, which, as it turned out this past Friday, came true, as did us breaking up today over him rushing things.
The next thing that solidified that things were happening beyond my understanding happened the very next day when I was heading for my Medical Office Assisting class. I had gotten to the class only to realize I knew exactly where it was, and that the professor was going to have trouble getting the door unlocked and that she was going to be an elderly lady rolling a briefcase along and knew exactly what she looked like, and that I would take the seat in the corner of the room before I even knew what the room looked like. I also knew I was going to get an 'A' on my first test. The same thing happened in my next class: the room was laid out exactly how it was in the visions/dreams, the professor looked exactly how I knew she would, and the other students had difficulty getting onto the program we needed, just like I knew they would.
As I type, this is still ongoing. Even finding this website and sharing my experiences feels like it was also a part of this vision/dream thing. I am so confused and half the time feel like I'm losing my mind.