Ever since I can remember, I had the worst time falling asleep. When I was very young, I would lay awake in bed, filled with terror, convinced that a robber was waiting to break into my bedroom. As I grew older, my imagination turned the robber turned into an alien waiting to abduct me. The fear of being watched was so overwhelming at times, I would sleep with the lights on. Even when I drive, most times I cannot make a round trip without street lamps turning off above me, (the number of times this has happened is just way beyond coincidence). These things, however ridiculous, have completely smeared my ability to live a normal life. Every night to this day I know someone is watching me.
Recently I moved into an older condominium, where this eerie feeling felt so strong, I began to notice a shadow man standing at the foot of my bed, sometimes at the side, or in the door frame every night. He frightened me, and after three weeks of restless sleep filled with frightful dreams, I decided I needed to help him move on. (this was a big step for me because I've always been controlled by my fear.) I preformed a standard cleansing ritual, and just as the words, "you need to go" left my lips, my front door opened and slammed shut, this I could only assume, meant things had finally come to an end.
Unfortunately for me, things are just as unsettling. I find that I still have to sleep with the TV on all night so I don't see shadow silhouettes in the dark. I have to keep a small fan on so that I don't listen for whispers. My friends are supportive but I know they only act this way to be polite.
Sometimes the things that I see feel evil; giant snarling faces popping out of the ceiling, thin, crooked figures melting into the wall... I am surrounded by so many different spirits and energies, I don't know how to decipher it all. I am literally on a sensory overload. Sometimes I take pictures to try and catch anything as proof that I am not insane but all I usually get are small orbs, ectoplasm, or blurred outlines.
At times I can't help but cry because of all of this. I am very willing to learn how to control my fear of what I see but I have no idea where to begin... Please help!