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I Have A Gift And I Don't Know What It Is


This is a long story so bare with me. I'm 20 years old. I've had an unusual life I guess you could say. I've had too many supernatural, psychic, etc. Experiences to count. I'm not even sure where to begin with this. I just need help. I don't know what I am, or even who I am at this point. I just know that I have some kind of gift. It all began when I was 13 and I had a friend who introduced me to this side of the world. Her mom was Wiccan and her dad committed suicide when my friend was fairly young. I experienced some paranormal activity when I was with her that was minor such as ash trays being knocked on the floor, knocking on the walls, flickering lights just typical things. She showed me how her dad was her "spirit guide" and she talked to him by using a pendulum and a piece of paper with letters on it and with yes no etc. She asked if I wanted to try it and it worked for me, very well actually. My spirit guide was apparently my great grandfather. I began by just asking simple questions which were all either correct at the time or correct as I got older. I did this for several months. After a while the answers I was getting weren't correct at all. I mean questions that were obvious like "Is my shirt red?" And it would say "no" when it was clearly red. After that strange things started to happen to me. I was seeing a black shadow in random places, night & day. Nothing so scary that I couldn't take it. Just enough for me to notice. After about a month, It got worse. I seen it more often, I felt uncomfortable everywhere I went, it would pop up in my dreams. On one occasion I was laying on my floor on my stomach and I had a box fan IN THE MIDDLE OF my bed. It flew off and landed on the back of my knees and it hit me really hard. One night, all literal hell broke loose for me. I came home and I reached for my door knob and before I could turn it my door opened and of course I thought that was odd. I was sitting in the living room and kept seeing something in the hallway, so I decided to head to bed. When I was laying there a black shadow with long fingernails and red glowing eyes comes out from under my bed and looks at me so I run and turn on my lights and lay back down and it happens again. Then my jewelry holder goes flying off my dresser towards my head. And I can't take it anymore. I'm sitting in the corner praying to god to just make it all go away because I can't do it anymore. Crying and screaming on the floor terrified for my life I finally make my way out the door to my moms room. I tell her everything finally and she comes into my room and sees the shadow too. Finally, someone to clarify I'm not crazy. My mom has a come to Jesus meeting in my room when she sends me off to grandmothers. I later find out the same entity was torturing my moms boyfriend too. I don't see that figure again. I actually got baptized soon after too because I knew where I needed to lay my hope and faith. Another story, we've had this ghost in my grandmas beauty shop. One I've known of since I was little. For some reason I had a feeling around the same year (when I was 13) that there was a little girl there too. Later to find out when we have a paranormal investigation there that there is in fact, a little girl there too. I don't know why I knew... I just did. I seen her too. She was just a white shadow that followed behind me and my mom every now and then. She is attached to us for some reason. She said so through the "voice box" they used to communicate with her. As I got older I had more unusual experiences but ones that I won't talk your head off about. I noticed when I was 19 that I have such an accurate "gut feeling." Just simple things like, I'll think of something for some reason and not know why and something involving the image I seen in my head happens soon after. Or I'll tell my friends things like "I know you like to drive fast but deer are still out" and then on her way home after she dropped me off she almost hit a family of deer. Or one night I thought to myself "I wonder if deer are still out" and then one ran in front of the car. Actually a lot of times I think about deer they appear. One time I went to a luncheon for my new job and other "working women" around town. When I got there I had a strong case of deja vu, so heavy it made me dizzy. Then when they were doing the drawing for the grand prize I casually thought "watch them call my name" and I turned around shrugging it off cause I never win anything and then they said my name over the microphone and I was stunned. On my 20th birthday I felt lucky so I bought a lottery ticket and won some money. Another time I felt lucky I won on three different lottery tickets in a row. Another time when I was in my room with my friend I was looking at her and noticed a blue light around her so I told her I could see her aura and we looked up personality traits for that aura and it was on point. I looked at myself and found my main color I think it was yellow I'm not sure, I looked it up. On point again. I finally had a witness to testify to myself that I have some type of, well, something. At work one day I was all alone and I got to watching some videos on YouTube just about different things in the world, conspiracy theories, celebrities, psychic abilities and things of that nature. I had this feeling come over me that I have an important purpose of being in the world like I have a job to do or that I have an actual reason for being on this big earth. I broke down into tears this feeling was so powerful. Sometimes I have this weird feeling or a thought of holding something in my hands when I'm not. Like holding onto something that's weird shaped or very small or something of that nature. I don't know what that is either. My friends tried to get me to go to the bar and I just felt like I shouldn't go and they got into a wreck that night. There's just all kinds of things in my life that confuse me. I don't know where to turn to, or who to talk to. I don't know what to do. I feel like I have some kind of gift and I don't know how to make the best of it. I'm very religious so I'm scared, I don't want to get into anything too deep and it introduce me to negative things like that demon that followed me when I was just 13. Someone with some advice please help me and give me some guidance and tell me how I can make the best of these things in my life. I truly do believe I can make a change in This world someday somehow, I just need to get on the right track.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, Dda11988, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

Spiritual_Paganist (4 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-15)
By reading this, yes you have gained psychic abilities over the course of your years, most likely s because you were exposed to it at such a young age which is GOOD, not many people reach this path. The demon you experienced was obviously terrible and because your mother could see it means it wanted to be known. Reading further on after you have been having more experiences and your feeling you have a purpose in life, which most likely you do, but to find that you need to find yourself, sadly nobody can do that for you. Near the end you say you are religious and that you are scared and you don't want to get into anything negative, I'm going to say I do not follow any of the modern belief systems and I will not mention my belief because it will cause some serious conflict so I am not going to say to follow a higher power. By seeing the state you are in these experiences is through high activity of your crown and 3rd eye, the intuition and seeing the dead, you say you don't want that demon to come back yes I completely understand, very scary but to prevent these events with the dead from happening I recommend you do the aura of protection meditation by using white energy first to clean out all the bad energy from your aura then use it as a shield, this prevents entities from coming near you and trying to attack because you now have protection. The reason entities attack people is because they have no strength within themselves or any spiritual power/ dominance, by doing the aura of protection allows you to have this dominance and make attacks less frequent, also this prevents entities from draining or feeding off of your energy, aka to stop making them attached to you. Now because right now your scared of all this and confused is because the activity that your experiencing is the work of your crown and 3rd eye, what's making you scared is because your lower chakras the Root and Base are weak. Thoes are the 2 chakras that allow strength and preparation before moving onto this stuff, and your solar plexus, heart and thyroid chakras are mostly adapted to the physical plane. So now if you want to stop these experinces (not seeing dead people or have any intuitive powers) you simply close the chakras and forget about everything which, but if you want to continue and use this to help you with your life you can do so but so everything is all simple I say you shall balance all your chakras, because your not levelled and you need more understanding on what your experiencing you can research or email me, but if you really want to get into this I warn you that you will bump into the bad side every now and then, this is why you need the strength and stability to fight it off, the spiritual side is not all fun because just like this world bad does exist. If you want more information (I can rant for days about this) just email me I will not bore you anymore, hope this helped you a little.
empathca123 (1 stories) (13 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-13)
a lot of people are saying turn to God, and I believe that you should turn to whatever higher power you believe in. For me God didn't do much good. Doesn't mean that I don't believe in him, but he isn't the only thing that people who are gifted should believe in. There are all kinds of stories about different sorts of demons from every religion, or belief. The more you know, the more u can be prepared. Seeing a demon with your eyes and not your minds eye is impressive, and I would think all the more scary. Be careful what energy you surround yourself with. Gifted people are like magnets, the more positivity u have in your life the easier it is to deal with spirits and demons.
Sambino87 (1 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-09)
Definitely turn to God! You have been saved and baptized under the blood of Jesus Christ and HE is the most powerful and only protection needed! As previous mentioned, pray for God Armor. Your Shield of faith, helmet of salvation. There is Scripture you can look up for full armor. Also, this us a GREAT site for you to get info:
Dda11988 (1 stories) (2 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-09)
Wow you understanding so well what I was saying literally made me cry. I would love to talk more because we seem to have a lot in common! I could use some more advice lol
JermWittaJay (2 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-07)
So I just recently found this site and I feel like I've found a support group like na or aa. This is the closest subject I can think of for my topic of choice. Does anyone have anything ability wise become so overwhelming that they prayed and asked for whoever was listening to take it away. When I first became overwhelmed I didn't know how to control anything and it all would hit me hard at once. To the point of me on the floor in fetal position crying uncontrollably asking for it to go away. Constant chatter in my head, so many voices but they were all talking at once but my clairvoyance comes to me as my voice in my head so it's hard to differentiate between my thoughts and someone else's. Anytime I got near someone or touched someone I get this feeling I still can't describe. It's like vision and feelings all in one and it's so overwhelming that I can't focus on just one. I can feel everything. Everything. More then I want to sometime. Moods. Sickness. All of it. Even the bad stuff I don't want to feel. I thought since day one that we all as a collective species have psychic abilities. But a few people I've confided in to share with told me that either I'm crazy or crazy special. And it's hard to keep this going. I wish there was an on/off switch so I can turn it on when I need it. I like my abilities. They make me me. I've met a couple other psychics who share similar abilities who have helped me with control and that literally was a life saver. I read book and found odds and ends that help. But I found not all of us have the same list of abilities so it's rare to find help or a friend I can share some of the crazier stuff with. I'm afraid to telll people cuz I don't want to be dissected by the government or something stupid like that lol. My brother said that to me. I have great energy manipulation and my clairvoyance slacks sometimes but I've come to the conclusion That I am a feeler and will further my feelings. Empathy out the ting yang. I've also noticed and someone chime in if they have too but the longer I'm around friends and girlfriends who don't think I need Meds, the more I notice that their abilities heighten and I literally changed lives. Altered the fate of others through teaching and just being around them. Help some for good and some not so good. But they all said they've never felt anything like anything before I came around. Anyway. I'm just glad I'm not alone and would love to further my own teachings so I can continue with my little side quest to further others. My friends and I will truly accept any and all advice and or tips you all have for us. And I can't wait to let them know of this absolutely amazing site I found today. Thank you all who listened and have a wonderful evening. Thank you.
Indikatt (1 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-07)
I can't explain to you how insanely accurate your story is with mine. In fact, I've spent all day ruminating over this exact same feeling you have as I typed out applications/cover letters to hopefully land one of my dream jobs in broadcasting. Like really intensly delving into this feeling to bring out some qualities into my writing until I basically collapsed, mentally exhausted, and typed INTO GOOGLE "what do you do when you know something big is going to happen to you but don't know what". Guess which post came up out of the infinite websites and forums in the universe? ❤

Your story is so spot on with mine that I was so shocked I had to make an account on this website to reply. It's funny because it sounds like you'd be used to crazy coincidences like this as well lol. I already know this is going to get stupid long so I apologize in advance, but here's my story:
At age 13 started feeling this urge in me. Can't really describe it exactly but kind of like an undeniable presence in the back of my mind that was like the true me. Different than intuition or gut instinct, which I always had lots of growing up. I now call this "feeling" a spiritual awakening- but I'll get to that...

Before this, growing up I always had random extreme phases of deja vu, saw a couple ghosts, heard things, CRAZY lucid or prophetic dreams, and just interested in anything paranormal. I also take these things as normal or ordinary for my life. So early teens once this feeling became present, at first my friends and I would mess around with ouija boards (that thing you described as paper with letters on it). Several occaisions where things on the other end would communicate random nonsense and then 2-3 times over the course of about 2 years when one "spirit" would return and was super communicative. It was profound to say the least, but we knew from the get-go that it was a negative energy. Mind you, these times with an ouija board were always months apart and I felt like this spirit (or just dark energy is what I like to call it) would be around me from time to time and I believe it even told me it was connected to me and my mother too. I had many experiences much like your fan story during this time; even heard heavy sleep-like breathing at various times. But it always happened really spread out time wise so I wasn't worried about it, plus I believe if you let something scare you then whatever it is has won. This thing finally went away when one day in my room I just said outloud something like "I'm a being of love and light, and that is the only thing I have to offer you." Nothing ~scary~ happened again.
-I personally feel that 1) ouija boards are like a briefcase full of money left out in a mall... Only curious kids and people who want to steal it are going to try to look inside the case. Just not the best audience. 2) any "bad" spirits/ghosts/demons/whatever anyone prefers to call them, are just not totally conceivable to us as humans and typically a lot of who/what they really are gets lost in translation or is shady info given by them. I mean when you don't know who you're looking to communicate with and nobody knows youre looking to talk to them, you just pick up on energy that answers you back the same way; random, ambiguous, shifty, undecided, or nonsense.

So during this time period I was paying attention to this feeling, literally researcing religions and reading up on spirituality and science etc. A friend pointed me in the direction of meditation and "new age spirituality" and I took to it. I was meditating a lot and would have intense vivid lucid dreams. My intuition and empathy towards others grew so much it was almost like I couldn't help but always say what's on my mind to other people because it was correct every time or would turn out to be true. I'll skip over my "gut feeling" stories because honesly it would just be repetative along with yours. But some highlights of this time were meeting 2 of my spirit guides in meditations, reliving a past life in a dream, meditations where I would have partial visions of random predictions even one where I was shown a man that I later had a relationship with.

These occurences would happen sporadically for years and continue to, and I'm 22. It turned out my dad has the same belief system and has written books on Quantum Physics etc. So he helped me kind of navigate this huge "knowing" I had, along with friends. Whenever I was randomly confronted with this super passionate innate... Idea I guess? That I'm here to do something, I would always get internally overwhelmed by it but in a good way and break down crying. I also sometimes get a strange feeling like the one you described as holding a small object. It's almost like you remember how it feels but you can't remember where or what it is. Kinda like when you misplace your wallet and you remember having it but not where. This feeling is different though, because it's somewhat comfortable or reassuring.
For me it's not holding something, it's more like laying on my stomach in the middle of a flat surface and I also get another one where it's like something is in my throat. I could never come up with what those were so I just chocked them up to leftover memories maybe from when I was an infant?

These big questions you keep wondering about, is it like your mission/purpose is on the tip of my tongue or maybe even written out right infront of you but its really blurry so you can't quite make it out? Here's my advice: I always felt somewhat isolated or just unique and meditation + spirituality really allowed me put words to what I was thinking. Start there, but don't take anything you learn as the truth before you FEEL it's truth in your gut. Pick and choose if you have to. I feel like that's the point of having any beliefs, that they are specifically made by you, changed by you. I really reeaallly reccomend meditation, it's very easy and literally has infinite health/mental benefits; start with looking up guided meditations on youtube even. Keep your mind in the "now", which is a term from one of my favorite popular guru's Eckhart Tolle, it means essentially just note your passing thoughts/feelings/anything temporary and try to refer your persective back to the "you" in your mind that gives you these gut feelings, that's helping me get along right now. Trust yourself and try not to have too many negative reactions to how things play out, or even towards what you think sometimes. Know that all things are eventual and there is infinite amounts of "good" or "light" than there is of anything else. And remember, There's nothing anyone can specifically tell you as a 100% accurate answer/outline/next step for this calling you know you have- and that's the best part-- and that's the point!

If you have anymore questions or anything feel free to ask and can't wait to see how people like you and I change the world for the better!
Dda11988 (1 stories) (2 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-07)
Thankyou both so much for your advice it makes me feel a lot better that someone understands
Gabbie (55 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-06)

Your choice to turn to God and Light, was a very wise one. Among the amount of darkness filling this world, it is vital that you keep connection to the holy and divine part of your soul which connects you to The Creator. I encourage prayer and meditation, as ways to help you with the frustration an anxiety caused by the severity of your situation. For as long as you remember who you are and who and what you stand for, nothing can ever move you. It is true, that those against our Father, be it humans or beings, will try anything in their power to force us off our position next to God. So know that a reason why things happen that are bad is this one.

Make sure you keep your emotions and thoughts on check, because they always make everything worse, regardless of the nature of the situation; be it spiritual or physical. I believe you should use your faith to its fullest. Hence, I'd like to advice you that you start taking your protection against all that is surrounding you a bit more serious.

I suggest, that while you are praying and meditating, you make use of that Light and connection to the Holy Spirit and God; Pray for it to fill you and cleanse your soul, offer you peace and calamity. Ask that It turns to a shield which will set boundaries between you and the harming powers trying to shake you off your faith.

Walk by faith and be fierce. God is great and Light is powerful. And so are you.

I am always available for further contact.

Be safe.
jasmine_glaze (84 posts)
7 years ago (2017-08-06)
Dear Dda11988,

From what you have shared it looks like you have psychic abilities. First off, I'd like to comment on the part about ouiji board (the piece of paper with letters and yes and no on it). The spirit guide your friend is connected to isn't anything good. If it truly is her dad, then because he did commit suicide, he's dark. There's a higher possibility for the spirit guide to be a corrupted being using her trauma and deceiving her by taking her dad's form. Also the experience with your great grandfather as a spirit guide is also quite shady, as you have mentioned as well

Since your early childhood there were many other experiences you haven't shared here. The frequent deja vu and premonitions show you have a natural talent toward the spiritual arts. You have also mentioned that feeling of purpose, it may make you feel alienated and wondering why most people don't feel it.

The way you speak about the spiritual is a little weird though. There are elements of Christianity, tradition and the modern spirituality in what you're describing. The way you have lived your life seems to be confusing to you. However now is the time to choose your own path.

If you are interested in the possibilities simply reply to this story or email me.

Hope to hear from you soon,

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