A very small introduction into my world. I have always seen spirits, like ALWAYS. As a kid I'd have full conversations with them and I see them the same as if a physical person were standing in front of me and having a "normal" conversation. I thought this was normal until one day my mom walked in and asked who I was talking to. My response was total shock. "I'm talking to my friend mom. He's standing right there. Don't you see him?"
I've also seen demons my entire life. I can see, hear, and smell them. I don't know what type of psychic/medium I am, but it kind of runs in the family. My great granny was the only person in town who could find water via dowsing rods in the 1800's, and I've taken after her. As a child I dubbed one demon that was particularly interested in me "mon-key key" because he had a monkey face. I knew he wanted to use me for things, but he understood I wasn't going to let that happen. Most would've chalked that up to an imaginary friend-as did my parents. I mention him because he attached himself to me as a child. He pops back up on occasion, but I've mainly been able to block him in my adult life.
This is something new however, but along the lines of dealing with mon-key key. Recently I'm opening up again psychically and really DO NOT want to. This is happening again because someone has a message they want to relay and I truly don't feel like being a messenger right now. I have my walls partially erected at all times. I do NOT open myself because it's exhausting. There are literally thousands of spirits, ghosts, entities, etc wishing to speak to me on an hourly basis. They're everywhere. Recently though one or two are trying to "jump" me. I have a previously broken back that was majorly aggravated when a spirit tried to jump me. I ended up arching my back completely off the bed-head and the rest of my body remained on the bed while my back was arched over a foot off the bed, creating a VERY unnatural arch. Today I got the rude awakening of another spirit trying to jump me. It was like being jerked awake from being sound asleep. I felt my body naturally reject the jumper and bitter cold. Like all the heat had drained from my body. I felt the numbness and tingling in my face,neck, and shoulders; like if your foot falls asleep and is waking up again kind of tingling. I immediately said out loud NOT COOL I said NO and I meant it! This isn't the first time this has happened, but normally when I say NO it's respected; this spirit isn't cooperating and I'm not sure what to do.
Why am I having such a difficult time remaining closed, and what can I do to stop this spirit from jumping me while the walls are lowered in my sleep? During full consciousness (being awake) I have no problem blocking them, but when I get tired or am asleep my walls naturally falter a bit. What can I do to make it more manageable during the day to communicate with the ones I choose?