I don't know where should I start with. I have always had paranormal activities since my childhood but I had been ignoring them for years. Until now. Many ghosts, bad spirits, visions came badly to my life from last year! But that was me. The devil was inside of me.
Always have this energy flooding on my body. Everyhere. When I breath I get goosebumps all of my body. Lights are shining like killing my eyes, I always sense people's feelings, what are they thinking etc.
Just one week ago I had weird visions, I wasn't sleeping just closing my eyes and not ''trying to think something'' I saw someone, not directly someone, but someone was reading a book, I was seeing it like - fish eye camera roll?- and just after couple of days I saw a film projection, like I was at a cinema... Feeling spirits, sometimes talking with them and many more things.
But I'm a romantic person haha I always love love. But I figured out I was living an illusion, I still don't know what to feel what to do about anything. I don't want a thing like relationships! I never feel like I belong here, don't know why I'm still talking like ''you humans are so hard and ugh!'' my friends are laughing and telling me ''so what are you? Non human ha ha?''
But love, ugh, I love everyting on this planet. Not belonging here yet totally in love with this illusion. Anyway, I need your help, the truth is inside every one of us but my mind is so chaotic. I can not hear any answers, or can not be sure if it's my mind making up or the reality.
One day, I saw someone in my dream, we were talking, laughing in a new house and I woke up like ''What the hell?'' cause this person is a celebrity. (it's sounding like a fangirl story but what can I do?) I wondered that why did I see this person in my dream? I'm not even a fan of him etc. I was looking for answers; was it symbolic (refer to something) or was it a fangirl dream? I searched this person's life and I was shocked. We were totally same. Life paths, thoughts, I'm studying buddhism too, going to learn Chinese soon and he is Chinese. (actually I'm going to live there for one year. And never planned to learn chinese until this year. This decision was before this dream) into in astrology, trying to read birth charts etc. And he is totally the same.
Later that, I was meditating, saw a vision that I was sitting on the grass and normally I saw every piece of details in that vision (generally I can not see perfectly, or it gets blurry) I was so peaceful, my eyes were closed and was feeling someone that came next to me. He was sitting and looking to me directly. Didn't invite anyone into my meditation. I opened my eyes and saw this person next to me. Looking to me without a smile, directly, I even saw his wrinkles on the face, his eyes were staring at me without blinking, anyway, he smiled at me after that and he got up and gone.
I saw a lot of visions after that meditation, saw him one more again but more like I was drawn to him. It was bit scary...
Tried to figure out if we had ''some kind of bond'' and When I thought about him, my heart went into pain, an energy spread. I kept saying something in his language.
I don't know it's really important or not but it comes to my mind like usually.
Could you help me to understand this situation? Thank you.