First of all, let me just say that I have been pretty much a disbeliever and skeptic most of my life. Ever since I was a child I was a skeptic. I didn't believe in God even though my sisters did, and I not once believed that there was a Santa. I've always been skeptical of ghosts (I never saw anything, even though most of my family has claimed to have seen things. Some of them even saw the same things as each other.), and for a long time there I considered myself a dead-set atheist.
Recently though, I've started hearing stories and things that have made me re-think my beliefs. Now these stories have really rocked my world, and I didn't know what to think of them. One of them was an old woman who went up to my Uncle in a casino one night, and began to tell him all about his dead wife, and his dead father (who passed away recently). She passed on messages, and told him to tell my grandmother that my grandfather loved her and slept with her every night. She gave details about things she couldn't possibly know. My Uncle is a devout Catholic and he doesn't believe in psychics or anything like that. That was the first thing that rocked me.
After that, I started to think, "What if when we die we do become ghosts?" My Grandfather was a devout Catholic as well, who believed adamantly in heaven and hell. But this woman said that he sleeps with my Grandmother every night, which obviously means that my Grandfather hasn't gone anywhere. It's so weird for me to think that ghosts might actually exist now, because I never really believed in them before.
I also thought psychics were full of it, even though my own mother professes to be psychic, and she has friends who are. So, lately I started reading this site, and reading up on different experiences that people went through, and then this happened to me, and it's totally stunned me.
The other week, I was in bed asleep, when I suddenly had a very strong dream. It wasn't even a dream. It was words in my head. Strong, strong words. And I was really puzzled by them, because I had no idea why I'd dream something like that at all. They were, "Shia LaBeouf was in a car accident."
You know that actor, right? The kid from Disturbia and Transformers? I thought, "Why the hell would I dream that?" The next morning I went online out of curiosity to see if he was in a car accident. I couldn't find much, and then I saw the headline. "Shia LaBeouf in crash, etc."
I was spun out. I didn't even know of that beforehand. I just dreamt it. And now I don't know what the hell to think. Am I maybe starting to experience some sort of psychic awakening now that I'm not so closed off to the idea of the psychic world?
I've always been able to read people's emotions, but I never thought much on it. And I use a number randomizer to random which characters I'm going to play in the roleplaying game I'm a part of online, and I feel like I can always influence the randomizer to land on what character I want it to out of 134 characters. It's really weird.
And another thing: Even though I was skeptical of ghosts, ever since I was thirteen or fourteen, and I had this horrific nightmare where I was chased through a house by a huge shadow and my friends were killed, I've felt something standing at the end of my bed whenever I go to sleep. It scares me. And I feel something in the bathroom in nearly every house I go to. I used to just ignore it, and I thought it was just in my head, but I -feel- it. And you can't ignore your feelings, I know that much. Your body doesn't feel things like fear for no real reason.
I'm starting to get really scared, and, to be honest, pretty paranoid, because now I do think that ghosts exist. I don't know how to deal with all of this.
-M. Hart
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