My Exploration Into Psychic Sensitivity Has Only Just Begun

I inherited my psychic abilities from my mother. I was never trained on how to deal with them; my mother, long ago, decided to block out these things she sensed, and I wasn't aware it meant something more until I met Ash, a great friend of mine, and her mother, Christy. They informed me I was an empath.

From the very first day I was sensing magical energies and movements. Slowly I realized how I had always been aware, through what I called intuition or intelligence or whatever other youthful rationalizations. And just by being aware that I was aware, I began to strengthen.

That was over a year ago. Since then, I have expanded my empathy to include elements of clairvoyance, clairaudience, and psychometry.

I sense things before they happen. Usually this is subtle: knowing the outcome of a plot line during exposition, feeling the urge to do something and later seeing how that random urge turned into a great stroke of "fortune," helping someone in a small way that dominoes into a huge change. Sometimes, however, it's much more significant. I turn away from something before it begins--it would have been horrific. I walk a different way home, I act on an impulse, it saves my life or benefits me greatly. I am never harassed in back alleys after dark on my way home. And so on.

I hear much better than I should be able to when I focus. At first it's just paying attention, but then the music is audible, even if there is a great racket, and so forth. I pick up on conversations with great ease, though I pretend not to. I meditate around noise very effortlessly. I identify sounds and directionality and pitch and so forth like a professional.

I am sensitive to energies people leave behind, especially on things that are solidly theirs. From the very beginning of my witchcraft, I have been very mindful and respectful and aware of people's possessions and magical energies, and I never touch before I ask (and I rarely ask, especially when it comes to Tarot, crystals, pentacles, etc).

I have experienced several distinct occurrences since then (though none as powerful as my current situation, which I wrote about earlier today) beyond the daily spiritual/meditative states, heightened intuition, and everyday energies and steady progress.

Once, I effected the material possessions of another, from a great distance. I was upset to the point of feeling ill, feeling evil, and curled into myself. My ex texted me to say that one of his protective stones had broken, after being lightly tapped, in spite of its sturdiness and magical properties.

Lately, I have exchanged moods with my best friend. She was heartbroken, and I have not cried a single tear, nor has she felt any hate. I, on the other hand, am a bottomless well of anger, and it has almost made me ill, and it often makes me unable to focus or breathe properly. Meditation and prayer helps, but only after it dissipates on its own.

Always, I am an extreme, passionate, intense person--sometimes to the extent that it feels like it will destroy my physical presence. Darkness or fire wells up in my belly, and I become it.

A while ago, and I am not sure how valid this experience is, but I recall distinctly that for a few weeks earlier in this school year, I felt as if I had wings. They were so sensitive, I had to lean forward so they wouldn't touch the seat I was in, and when I closed my eyes I could flex them. They were thin, like intricate bones with barely any membrane, and oh so beautiful. I saw them in my mind's eye as if they were real.

I wish to strengthen my abilities. I also wish to protect myself. Up until now, meditation and religious activities were adequate. But lately I have experienced greater burden, which in turn means I wish to increase my focus and my defenses. What resources are best, what are your own experiences, what should I do, how should I proceed?