Although just recently introduced to the idea of clairempathy, I have always known that there was something special about me. I know that everyone says that, but it is true. For as long as I can remember (starting around five or six), I have known things about people, that I had no way of knowing. I have been able to tell if people were upset, or if something was on their mind, even if they said there was nothing. And in some cases, I can not only tell that something is wrong, but also what exactly is wrong. This is few and far between though. I have many times walked into a room feeling one way, and two seconds later feel completely different. There are other times when I walk into a room full of people, and I feel so overwhelmed I want to just sit down and cry. I know this may be long, but here is my story.
I have always been good with helping people, giving advice, solving disagreements and arguments, but when I moved across the country, everything seemed to change. The people where I live now were so different than the people from where I used to live, and I could hardly adapt. I began to shut myself off, and close everyone out. I became very self-reliant and I would avoid large groups of people, and avoid going to school if I could. The people I went to school with always gave me headaches, left me feeling tired and empty, and I didn't understand why. Feeling empty and alone, I turned to drugs and alcohol.
Drugs and alcohol were my way of masking the way everyone made me feel, and when I was drunk or high, I felt free of the loneliness and pain I normally felt. I became a severe alcoholic and drug addict. About three months after I began using, my dad looked me in the eye and told me he didn't even know me, and I was not his daughter. I was shocked, I was sickened by myself, and I felt alone again. I looked at all the damage I had done, and I knew I could not keep using, so I quit. I quit on my first try, and only had one small relapse.
But because I had quit using didn't mean that I was all of a sudden all better. I continued to shelter myself, and avoid people as much as I could. It was not long after I quit though that started making friends, and opening up again. And about a month after my relapse, I was talking with one of my closest friends, and he told me about empathy.
At first I was very cautious about it. The whole idea of being psychic was not one that would be accepted by my dad, and I knew that. I was very quiet about it, and I did my research, but now I am certain that I am an empath. The idea still makes me nervous, and I am still working on perfecting my abilities, but I am so glad that I now recognize what I can do and who I am. I feel very alone, though, knowing that I cannot tell my dad, my boyfriend, or any of my friends. Only one person knows. I would really like some advice on how to work on my abilities, and just some general support with growing up as an empath, and learning how to control myself and my powers.