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Re-awakening?

 

This is my first post...

I always thought there was a spiritual side to us that, as humanity marched ever forward into the future, has so often been turned away from, discounted, even forgotten. It's the part of us that can connect to others on an incredibly deep level, the part that - I'm sure - used to be able to connect to the bigger picture. To the energy and spirit that runs through all of life.

As a teen, I actively tried to cultivate these connections - what I considered should be a natural part of being human. Until I had what was, for me, a harrowing and life-changing experience.

For a few weeks, I had been working my way through a book (title long forgotten) that told of psychic experiences and outlined meditating exercises supposedly designed to help open up that side of you. I was meditating, just trying to connect with a deeper part of myself, when I felt as though I was being contacted by something outside of myself. It was a very strong presence. It seemed that there were promises being made of more knowledge and more ability to "see", if only I would consent, and take just one more step. But it scared me. I had such a strong feeling that it was somehow an evil force, and although the promises were very seductive, and although I hesitated somewhat - toying with the idea of just going there - I finally pulled myself out of my meditation. It was a whole-being struggle just to do so. When I sat up, I realized I was sweating & when I looked in a mirror, there was absolutely no color in my face. I was so scared, and afraid to sleep for a long time afterward.

Needless to say, I closed that book and never looked at it again. I turned my back on the whole concept and went through life discounting things as merely coincidences or luck. But now, 40 years later, as so much in my life is changing and I find that I must reinvent myself - I wonder if instead, what I need to do is to re-find myself. Listen to who I am, reconnect with all the various parts of me that I left behind along the way.

So, I'm becoming aware of little things again, two of which I'll mention now...

Last summer I vacationed briefly in Russia. My last night, I was up way too late getting ready for an early flight in the morning. When my alarm went off, just a few hours later - I groggily went through, in my mind, what else remained to be done and made the decision I could sleep another 15 minutes. Resetting the alarm, I snuggled back down under the covers. As I quickly started to nod off, a loud, distinct voice (which I believe belonged to my deceased brother) said, "You don't want to do this!" I sat bolt upright, and looking at the clock realized that instead of moving the alarm hand just one line further, I had reset it from 6am to 9am... 15 minutes... But only If you're watching the sweep of the minute hand! I'm so sure that it was my brother watching out for me!

And last night (2.23.10), I was suddenly consumed by thoughts of a killer whale at a marine park being upset, confused, or ill - and a trainer being killed in the process. I couldn't understand how - I just knew that the whale didn't do a turn against the tank's wall, crushing the person in the process. It was somehow more violent, a thrashing about. I couldn't really "see" - but I also couldn't stop the thoughts. I kept wondering why I was thinking about this, but I couldn't figure out a train of thought or feelings that would have lead me to this scenario. The thoughts seemed to come out of nowhere, from somewhere outside of myself.

And then, today, when I heard about a trainer being killed at SeaWorld in Orlando... What's going on? These accidents don't happen very often at all. Could this be merely a coincidence?

There is something more, isn't there? I just don't know if I really want to "go there" again. There's a part of me that's still a bit scared of losing control.

The thoughts of this community would be greatly appreciated.

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Comments about this clairvoyant experience

The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, newpath, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

bellatrix (2 stories) (17 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-02-26)
Is it ok if you can please tell me the name of the book, please?
bellatrix (2 stories) (17 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-02-26)
wow that really makes you think twice. I have had something like the "train of thoughts"
It wasn't that pleasing for it to come true.

Remember we are wiser as we are older you need to trust your self, your sub-consciousness is the one that takes the blow, but it is stronger than the awake, eventually you will do it and you won't regret it!
Nikki67 (33 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-02-25)
Hi Newpath,

I find your offering interesting in that it is one thing to 'believe' in a thing as you did when you were in your 20's to believe that there was a 'spiritual' side that interconnects us all. It is quite another thing to start having experiences that change our perceptions from believing in something to knowing something. One is an opinion while the other is an experience.

Are you ready to slide down the rabbit hole Alice? You have an opportunity to play in the sandbox if you can overcome your fear when the experiences come to you. I would say rather than trying to invoke an experience that instead you consider the 'art of allowing' an experience to unfold, without judging it or even trying to rationalize it when it is happening. These are trappings of the mind trying to make sense of things, and often interfere in the unfolding of it.

The 'other side' is no more dangerous than this one. There are scary entities and there are also benevolent ones. Trust your intuition if you can differentiate between an outside influence and your own inner emotions.

The way your brother communicated with you sounds very similar to the way my mother contacted me after her passing, however, it left me with a feeling of peace as I also felt her essence emotional energy as part of the package (and without the baggage she lugged around during life... Her true essence was so much lighter, loving, undeniably connected to source.

Its your choice to proceed or not. If you decide to open that door I think it safe to say you don't have to go through it alone. Thanks to sites like this one a community is standing by to help you negotiate this 'brave new world'.

Namaste
b00kadict54 (6 stories) (44 posts)
 
12 years ago (2010-02-25)
I think that your true self is breaking through whether you're ready or not =/ its all about being calm and letting the things come instead of shying from them. Make a dream journal, record any feelings you have throughout the day in a small notebook you can keep in your purse, and try to get a feel of the differences in your dreams. This side of life isn't horrible or evil. Your first experience makes it understandable for you to feel some reluctance, but pretending the dreams and feelings arent there won't make them disapear. =/ I understand your hesitance, but if you really want to discover who you are then you have to practice "seeing" that person. Who knows, maybe the person you thought you were all these 40 years wasn't half of who you really are. Looking into who I trully was opened my senses more than I ever thought. Keep reading up on things and talking to people on here. Don't worry, you'll find a peaceful way

Blsd B
Lins
AnneV (4 stories) (1064 posts) mod
 
12 years ago (2010-02-25)
I find your post a bit ironic. On one hand you so eloquently say that society, in terms of its spirituality and connection, has "so often been turned away from, discounted, even forgotten." Then as you yourself re-enter that spiritual world, you close it off and forget it for awhile. You too will turn away from and forget what and who you are. We all do. But eventually we return to that place that feels like looking into an abyss, face our fears, and grow.

All growing pains are uncomfortable. If we don't push ourselves we remain stagnant, even if it extends past this life and into the next. The good news is that there is no race to spirituality. It's when you are ready. Your outcome is your own, not ours, and not when someone else projects theirs onto you. In light of that, I think this thread is really more for you than anyone else. You already know there is something more than meets the eye and even mind. The question is, do you want to take yourself to the next level or remain in that comfortable ignorance?

Control in itself is an illusion. The real monster in the closet is fear.

Thanks for sharing,
Anne

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