This is my first time posting a story and I wasn't too sure it fit into the "psychic experience" category. I have had premonitions, encounters with spirits and moments of empathy so I'm no stranger to the paranormal but since I've gotten older my experiences have tapered off a bit. I had just attributed it to depression putting a block on my abilities but lately I've gotten more experiences that are stronger than ever.
The first instance was about a month ago while I slept I um (this is embarrassing) woke up to a sharp pain in my vagina as if something was trying to be inserted. Okay I'm a virgin so that would be the pain that I felt but it felt like this person or whatever felt that I was a virgin and immediately backed away. I didn't see anything when I woke up and if it was something meant to hurt me then why did it stop instead of go through with it, which I appreciate since I don't want to have to explain that I lost my virginity to a ghost spirit thing. Now the interesting part is that usually thinking someone had tried to have sex with you would disturb you, but in my case I woke up giggling like a schoolgirl and being highly disappointed that I was alone. That is saying a lot considering that I have a known fear of sex in general and I have a history of sexual abuse that adds on to the fear. So the fact that I woke up not only wanting to have sex with the um "person", being very happy about it, and feeling very disappointed that he wasn't there says something. My one friend I told, said that it might have been my soul mate trying to comfort me considering things aren't going well for me right now but I don't know.
The second time was maybe a week after the almost sex and I woke up to someone holding me. I was slightly afraid this time considering they were holding me tightly and I couldn't move. I have had moments where I've woken up in a paralyzed state before but this time I actually felt like someone was holding me and once I thought "please let me go" he released me. It didn't disturb me to much since I drifted back to sleep after wards, but since then while I slept I could feel someone next to me and I just feel protected in fact I have snuggled into them.
Another few days passed and I heard a male voice call my name 3 times in a gentle but persistent way that woke me from my sleep. I had never heard voices before since most of my premonitions and messages have come to me in dreams. Once again I wasn't afraid I was mostly wondering why he woke me up and was just a touch grumpy. The last experience was again a voice except it was a woman who whimpered so loud that I shot up from my sleep, I couldn't tell if it was a whimper of pain but I'm assuming it was since in my mind I saw a flash of a worried woman in my head for a few seconds. I didn't see anything in my room again so I was dragged back into sleep. This time I had physical evidence though, when I woke up and looked in the mirror my eyes were swollen as if I had been crying the whole night. If you're thinking it was me who had whimpered, I don't think it was considering I was in a "happy" state when I woke up from the loud whimper. I really have no idea what's going on. My only theory is that maybe it's a combination of heightened spiritual awareness, a male trying to protect me, or something happens while I sleep that I need to be warned and protected from. I have in the past woken up with scars but I just assumed it was the fact that I'm a rough sleeper, I have long nails, and I'm accident prone. I have absentmindedly scratched my arm and have left welts and scars and also sprained the same toe and ankle over and over again. Whatever anyone comes up with would be appreciated, I'm very confused and this is not a state I like to be in. I feel whatever message whomever is trying to send me might be important.
Thank you in advance,
Que
Loading comments....
My beliefs:
1. We are all spiritual beings and stuff from the God side as well as demonic side can occur. They are not all the same side.
2. Coming from my Biblical perspective, what good comes from these gifts towards others? In other words, I ask myself if my gifts (as I call them. More on that in post) are truly beneficial to other people, or do they fill me with fear or pride? If they aren't doing anyone any good, I do not pursue them.
3. The more open I am with others about my experiences, the more I find I am far from alone.
4. I strongly believe and have seen it happen in my own life, that watching certain movies, listening to certain kinds of music, reading certain books (even popular fiction) and playing certain video games or experimenting with tarot cards, Ouija boards, etc. Has a ton to do with obtaining and growing in psychic abilities. If you want it to stop, action should be taken in these areas. Being open about what's happening and asking for prayer is also extremely helpful.
5. As I said before, I think there are two sides to spiritual stuff: God's side and not God's side. Neither is neutral and one produces frightening results. If you are creeped out, there is a reason. I know I'm about to make myself sound like a cracked fanatic when I say this, but... I think the "not God's" side are demonic spirits, hence the creepy factor. Demons hate people, but they can be very subtle and manipulative, playing on pride, anger, and fear. Most people are afraid of them, but many others are enticed by them and believe they are the ones in control (that would be an example of pride at work).
My thought is that God gives me "psychic" experiences for my good or for the benefit of others (not what I think would be beneficial, but what God says is). I have never tried to conceal the truth, blast it at people, etc. When I have a "message" I say it gently but plainly and so far no one has "seen the light" and turned from their ways. But that is not my part. Mine is to just deliver the message. Also, so far I have only been given "messages" to other believers or myself.
My guess is that you are the weeping woman. The proof is your tear-stained face. You said you have been practicing various occultic things. The deeper you go into the occult, the more control demonic beings have over your body. If you want this stop you need to physically cleanse your house of all occultic influences and recant your actions.
I do hope you visit my post for more detailed info. I would be glad to answer any other questions too at bigloumedia [at] gmail.com. I will be in prayer for you.
Loura