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Am I Going Crazy, Or Do The Dreams Mean Something?

 

I'm not sure what's going on, so please excuse me if I am totally wrong about this whole thing and please bear with me and read it all the way through so you guys can tell me if I am either crazy, or this is really happening. Whatever 'this' might be. Thank You.

My name is Erin, I'm about to turn 14 and these moments started when I was about 7. I'm guessing, mostly because the only ones I remember before that time aren't clear enough to be anything.

What's happening is I will go to sleep but not really sleep, it's like dozing off in class, you still hear everything going on around you, but it's like the voices and noises are real far off. And you can open your eyes and see everything but don't take anything in. When the dreams first started to happen, I tried to tell me Mom but she ignored me like she didn't hear the question. Soon I realized that I probably shouldn't be telling her this. But the dreams weren't like regular old dreams a kid should be having. They hurt, physically, emotionally and made me wonder about my own sanity.

The one I remember best is one of the most recent ones: (this is when I'm awake) I'm sitting on the basketball bleachers in a Tuttle gym because me and my team are playing in a tournament, I start to feel real funny, like anxious, but not really, it's not an emotion I have ever felt before then one of my guy friends starts to hand me his cell phone so I can see something he had written to his girlfriend that was having some issues (she was cutting and crying all the time). As soon as he handed me the phone, that anxious feeling exploded inside of me and the dream I had the night before came back to me all at once. I dropped his phone, my phone, blacked out and fell down the bleachers all at once. After I came out of the trance of seeing the dream again--it was like someone showing a movie in fast forward, but the fast forward was going like a hundred miles an hour-- I had this extremely bad headache. Almost a migraine, but not quite as bad. I felt sick and the light and sound hurt so bad I was almost in tears. I had to go into the locker rooms and lie down until our game was ready.

My eyes change from their light blue with darker spots to dark blue after every...um...episode? These happen all of the time, That one I remember because of the physical pain involved. And the fact that as soon as I touched the phone, I think I felt what the girl was feeling. Suddenly I didn't want to go home to my parents, I wanted to find a razor blade and cut my wrists in all directions and I wanted to cry in my guy friends' arms. I felt such a strong attraction to this guy it was unbearable. It made me sick to my stomach to think about it. I have felt emotions like that before, when I see someone crying and I go up to them to comfort them, they seem to see that everything is okay and I can't stomach my emotions. I'm not sure if that's relevant but...maybe.

I have so much trouble at school, because I see my dreams come out in front of me, and I try and avoid anything that might trigger a memory but it doesn't seem possible, it ends up happening one way or another.

I don't know if I am crazy or all of this stuff means something. Please be serious in your answers/comments. I need help, I need to know. This has been bothering me for years and I have ignored it all this time, but now I'm afraid to go to sleep and even more afraid to wake up. The only way I can stop it, is to (1) wear myself out so bad I don't have the energy to dream. (Which I am currently doing) Or (2) Take sleeping medicine to mess with my head so they can stop. But that was making me ill too... So I had to stop. Please I just want to know if I'm crazy or, if I'm not how to keep it from going out of control. I'm even farther from myself now then I have ever been. Am I crazy?

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The following comments are submitted by users of this site and are not official positions by psychic-experiences.com. Please read our guidelines and the previous posts before posting. The author, softball_girl, has the following expectation about your feedback: I will participate in the discussion and I need help with what I have experienced.

softball_girl (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-06-02)
Adrayn7,
Okay, gotcha. Don't do nothing that'll make 'em mad. I got kind of confused there. Thanks for everything.:)

Softball_Girl
Adaryn7 (6 stories) (460 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-29)
Lol you said that your parents don't like you being alone in the house and etc.--I was just clearing up that I wouldn't encourage you to do anything that would rub them up the wrong way. I'm not here to turn you against your parents! ^^'

As for your comment about how well you slept, I'm not surprised.

Keep practising, and we'll look forward to your next story.

Take care
Adaryn7
softball_girl (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-29)
Adrayn7,
The states ain't all they're cracked up to be. Well... At least I don't think so. I want to travel everywhere, I hate staying in one place. Specially Oklahoma. I think the weather is just too moody.
But anyways...Umm...what could I do that my parents wouldn't like? --This is going to sound sarcastic, it's not meant to be that way-- I mean other than telling them that I can see the future in my dreams and might be a little bit empathetic? (Sorry about the spelling.)
Oh and when I fell asleep while meditating; I didn't dream, Like at all! It was the best sleep I had ever been in. I was completly asleep, not just dozing. I didn't dream, but I had this strange feeling, like someone was watching me...I'll admit that kind of creeped me out but I was too excited that I was asleep to care much at the time. (And I'm not sure if it has any place in here, but figured I'd throw it in there anyways. 😊) This is good right? Maybe?

Thanks Bunches!
❤ Softball_Girl
Adaryn7 (6 stories) (460 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-27)
You're from Oklahoma? I've never been to the States, except for LA and Miami (airports!:P) Lol.
Woods would be perfect! I find it much easier to calm my mind when I'm close to nature. I live in suburbia, and wish I had some woods closer to my house--as long as you don't get lost lol!
If you're not an adult (and sometimes even if you are;)) then it can be difficult dealing with parents, but you have to respect their wishes. I wouldn't encourage you to do anything your parents would not be happy about, k? I understand where you're coming from, because my parents believe some very different things from what I do, and this has caused problems in the past. They're only doing what they think is best.
As for falling asleep, that's great! When you meditate, and fall asleep, all it means is that you're not getting as much sleep as your body needs. When you focus your mind, you discover how you really feel--and if that's sleepy, then you need more rest! So you're meditating properly, keep it up! You'll stop getting sleepy once you get more rest (and some people need more than the recommended 8 hours, especially teenagers. One of my friends is 21 and needs 9 hours sleep or she can't function!)
Hope this helps
Adaryn7
softball_girl (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-27)
:) I'm not allowed alone in the house by myself Adaryn7. To my parents I'm still a kid they want to torture. 😜 And sadley no, no park. I live out in the middle of no-wheres ville. But I have plenty of woods! So that would work... Right?

And um... I was trying to meditate the other day, and fell asleep. How can you make sure you don't do that? Thanks Bunches; softball_girl
angel45 (2 stories) (4 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-25)
Hey I thought the same too about being crazy. I have a storey its similar to yours.I'm comfortable talking about it now what I experience. Some people just don't get it they are scared of what they don't know about or what they think is called not being normal. I thought I was crazy too but I know I'm not when I'm around certain people I feel strange or uncomfortable I can pick up on peoples energy we have something special I'm learning to embrace it god gave this to use for a reason good luck. =)
Adaryn7 (6 stories) (460 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-24)
Lol how do you make sure no one interrupts you? Well, you'd probably have to be alone in the house!

I know it can be a pain when you're interrupted, I have the same problem sometimes. If your parents or those you live with are the sort who would respect a 'please do not disturb sign' on your door, then that might be an idea. When I meditate at home and there are people around, I tend to lie on the bed - it's less likely the first thing an intruder will assume is that you're meditating, and is more comfortable than sitting cross-legged on a wooden floor, anyway. Otherwise you might have to go somewhere else. Is there a park near where you live? Or just a quiet place where you can go? You can lie down on the grass with your eyes closed, and people will just think you're having a snooze. ^^

You can actually meditate almost anywhere for as little as 5 minutes a day or for as long as you want (or time allows). It's actually best to start off small, no need to push yourself. You can meditate in the library, on the bus... You can even meditate while walking or exercising, if that works for you. Remember, meditation is about focusing your mind, not necessarily stopping all thoughts. Relax and enjoy!

Adaryn7
softball_girl (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-23)
Adaryn7;

Thank you for that information, I really need it. You blocked your emotions too, I don't remember the last time I really felt anything... How do I make sure no one...um... Interrupts me as I am meditating? And do you think I should tell someone? Even if they think I'm crazy?

Again I thank you for the information, I'm sure it'll help a bunch. 😊
Adaryn7 (6 stories) (460 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-22)
softball_girl:
I apologise in advance for the long post.

1. There are a lot of misconceptions/different ideas about meditation. Two common ones are that you have to stop ALL your thoughts or assume funny lotus positions on the floor. You don't! (Though some might disagree). You can sit in a chair, or lie down, as long as you're comfortable. Meditation is about focusing your mind. Visualise your protective shield, and then concentrate on something. It could be the air moving in through your nose, and then out again. It could be your chest rising and falling with each breath. It could be a phrase, an idea, an affirmation, or any combination of these.

For example, sometimes I repeat to myself:
"May I be filled with loving kindness; may I be well. May I be peaceful; may I be happy."

Or, I might direct that thought to someone else, or the world. "May you be filled with loving kindness... May we... May this country... May all beings... You get the idea. You just have to find what works for you. And your mind will stray, but don't get stressed if it does. Just keep coming back to the original thought. Eventually you will improve and find it easier to keep you focus. Trust me, I'm a gemini with a mind that goes a mile a minute; if I can learn to meditate, anyone can! ^^'

2. As for controlling empathy, that's a tough one because I don't actually know how I control it. When I was a kid, and even now, I was too embarrassed to display emotion around my parents, so I learnt to block it from a young age. However, if someone has a headache, I will get one without fail, and painkillers don't help! Or if someone is experiencing a very strong emotion, or if I'm not getting enough sleep, then it affects me more. I once had an encounter with a severely depressed person, and it took me days to get that negativity out of my system - and that was before I knew about empathy or the benefits of meditation. Lol I had no idea what was wrong with me! I'm sure you can relate. Meditation, however, does help to control empathy. Maybe not overnight, but I've been practicing meditation for a little over a month, and I'm just starting to notice an improvement - so persevere!;)

Sometimes I visualise the negativity I have picked up during the day leaving my body and being absorbed by the universe to be recycled with each breath. With each breath I release a little more negativity, and replace it with positive energy. When I'm washing, I imagine being cleansed of the negativity, and visualise it all running down the drain.
It's about trying different things to find something that works for you. If it doesn't feel right, then you try something else. Hope this helps!

Peace and blessings
Adaryn7
softball_girl (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-21)
I would meditate... But I'm not sure how. And with my softball, my dad constantly watching me because he thinks I'm depressed. I don't think I have time. Not even on Summer Vacation, and during the school year it's even more difficult. My Dad keeps me really busy... Adaryn7 can you control Empathy? Because if you can I really need to know how. And the dreams too.

Skyviking, I'm confused... Should I isolate myself? Or are you saying don't? The last time I did that my Dad said that I should stop being depressed because my life was so good compared to other people's that I should be greatful. I that got lecture everyday. But at that time my sister and her two kids were living with us and. Now I have some what of and idea why them living with us was so hard on me-she's a mess.

Thank you guys so much, I can't tell anyone else, if I tell my friends from school they'll think I'm crazy, if I tell my parents or boyfriend it'll get even worse. Thank you for your advice and suggestions. It means a lot.
skyviking (1 stories) (19 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-20)
Adaryn7 is right you are getting empath activity. I agree you should meditate and find some support spiritually. I always meditate and ask the Angel Gabriel to make me feel better.

When I am around a negative person they seem to suck my energy. I have recently rid myself of certain toxic people that I thought were friends and feel much better.

It is confusing and sometimes overwhelming sometimes to have the dreams and they come true. I hope you can get to a better place. I know I have purposely isolated myself at times because of similar experiences. Now if I feel anxious I try to picture myself with white light surrounding me.

If you are on this site you are looking for answers and no you aren't crazy. Just read all the similar stories on here to not feel alone.

I wish you the best.
Adaryn7 (6 stories) (460 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-20)
Hi softball_girl, do you meditate? I know that everyone keeps harping on about it, including me, but it really does help.
The fact that you were feeling exctly what this girl was feeling means that you're probably empathic. I had a similar experience when I encountered someone who was extremely depressed, it took me ages to get rid of all that negative energy!
And please don't deprive yourself of sleep. Your body needs sleep to replenish its energy. I actually find it harder to control my empathy when I don't get enough sleep. Learn to focus your mind through meditation and you'll feel more in control.

God bless
Adaryn7
softball_girl (1 stories) (7 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-19)
Hey thanks you guys. I've been thinking I'm losing it for years, my parents think I stare off into space because I'm ignoring them. I'm trying really hard to hide it from my boyfriend, and it's just getting harder and harder. I'm not exactly what I'm supposed to do. But knowing that I'm not crazy helps a little. So thank you 😊...
vanillabean (9 stories) (168 posts)
 
10 years ago (2010-05-19)
You are experiencing very different things than what I experience, but all I can say is rest assured that you are not crazy. After I have one of my dreams that "tell me something" I always ask myself if I am imagining things. It's hard (when you are from earth and expected to use your logical brain) to trust your 6th sense. The interesting thing is that since I've had enough of these experiences, I notice that each and every time I ask myself if I'm just crazy, my dreams/visions do come true.
AnneV (4 stories) (1045 posts) mod
 
10 years ago (2010-05-19)
I noticed in today's article submissions that there are several "Am I crazy" and references to shadows.

I wrote these two articles here which may help:

Http://www.psychic-experiences.com/psychic-articles/am-I-psychic-or-crazy.php
Http://www.psychic-experiences.com/psychic-articles/shadow-people.php

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