I guess I have always felt a little different. I can't remember a time in my life that I felt normal at all, really. I am not sure what I am. Maybe I have some sort of psychic abilities, maybe I am crazy, maybe something else. I am not entirely sure of anything. Maybe others might know better than I do.
My whole life everyone has told me that I am an old soul. Honestly, even though I am in my twenties I feel like I'm 200 years old most of the time, and I frequently feel like I have been born into the wrong century. But that isn't necessarily what makes me odd, I guess.
My first "experience" I suppose started when I was a pre-schooler. My twin brother died while we were still in the womb and my mother carried us both full term (he died around 5 or 6 months into the pregnancy). Of course, I didn't know this. My parents didn't feel the need to tell me. They didn't think I would understand. But I always felt alone. Like I was missing something. Then the dreams came. I can remember dreaming about my brother, and he was surrounded by animals I had never seen before. When I asked my mom about it and described the boy with the animals she broke down and told me that not only did I have a twin that died, but that the animals in my dream were all perfect descriptions of pets she had had pass on before I was born.
Not long after that (between the ages of 4 and 9) came the astral projection. As far as my parents knew, I was just spacing out so intensely I could be picked up and moved without me even taking notice. But what I saw was different. I was seeing other planets, stars, other countries... And flashbacks to some 1600's Japan (which of course I didn't realize what it was until I was much much older, as I had never seen pictures of Japan at the time.) This stopped by the time I was 9, however.
When I was roughly the age of 5 I started seeing things in my house. A white hazy thing that paced my hallway, creatures that crawled up and down my walls at night, and one night I saw a cat-faced demon type creature looking in my window. I told my parents I was "seeing things" (which of course I couldn't explain for lack of vocabulary at that age) and my mom responded by taking me to the eye doctor which was a miserable experience. Apparently my message didn't get across.
Around this same age I also walked in my mother's dreams and reconfirmed with her later that I was there.
To top it off, I can feel people's spirits -or negative/positive energies.
Anyway, lots of weird stuff.
So years go by and I do my best to forget most of this stuff and move on with myself... Fast forward to college. I start collecting dolls - dolls which apparently end up having some very odd energies. You can almost see their expressions change with the energies. A friend of mine who had learned to read energies knew almost the instant she walked into the room with them that they all had some very unique energies. I like their energies though. They are warm and protective spirits. They give me a very comforting feeling. Although I will admit that when people I knew started seeing the dolls moving on their own I was a tad concerned. But they have since stopped with the self-moving activities. They are still very warm and energetic though.
Anyway, so because my friend can read energy, I had her start teaching me how to read energies. I start seeing aura colors here and there... I start playing with energy. Somewhere along the way I meet a variety of very interesting people. One of which, shortly after meeting me says to me "You have wings. You might not know it yet, but you have them." It was the strangest thing anyone could have said to me because I have always had this odd feeling. My back has always periodically ached, almost like a phantom limb that has been amputated. Like, I can feel the weight of something that should be there, but isn't. And I have always had these dreams about how I can fly, I know I can fly, but my wings are broken. But despite all this, I just chocked this up to the guy being a nutcase and blew the comment off. Years later I meet my husband and one night out of nowhere he says "I don't know if you know they are there, but you have wings. I see them every time I look at you. They are huge, white wings." Weird, right?
Of course, this is just some of the odd things I have experienced... Others include playing around with energy and getting my reading bounced off of an energy shield and then the guy I was trying to read off of look straight in my direction the instant he felt me hit his shield - so I know I wasn't just imagining that I was doing it anyway. And then he walked up to me and I shook his hand and it felt like I had grabbed a hot coal. It was painful to touch him.
So I don't know. Writing this and reading this just makes me feel a bit crazy. Maybe I am not alone. Maybe I am. I just feel like I am not sure what I am. There is so much unexplained stuff in my life I just get more and more confused with time. I hope all this doesn't mean I'm ready for the loony bin! Lol. If I do have abilities, I'd like to refine them, but I am also very afraid of opening up doors I can't close.
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