It's been a very long time since I've posted a story. In my first post, I asked for help in defining my abilities. It's been a very long time since I've come to grips with myself and my capabilities.
My strongest premonitions have revolved around the issues concerning my family, and my love life for the past 6 years. All of which have come to pass, including the demise of my beloved grandfather, and the loss of the love of my life. Since these events two years ago, I have been very ill. The most concerning issue is, after the loss of my beloved, I still hold a strong mental connection with him and dream of him vividly and "see" and help him with the struggles in his life. (I have had these events confirmed with close friends without his knowledge).
Over time though, my abilities feel like they are dwindling. Could this be a cause of emotional stress? Fear? It feels like I have turned down the dial on a radio and can't turn it back up. Any suggestions?
Since I have begun to practice lucid dreaming, I find that my premonitions have become more and more unclear. Previous, I would have premonitions up to 3-4 times a week, and it would occur a day or two later. The strongest one I've had included events that took place over a 6 year term. Now, if I do, it takes a few months before it happens, or I don't realize what they are until after the event occurs and I forget about having them/ dreaming at all, which has never happened before.
Interestingly enough. In ever dream I have that I remember lately, I am in a house from my childhood. It is now run down and boarded up. When I am in the house, I find it piled with treasured items. I am looking for something in particular, and I am speaking with spirits all the while. One of them that has become more frequent, has declared herself as "Katie" I will spend hours digging through the mountains of items but cannot find anything. And find I am driven out by a sense of fear upon awakening.
I am also finding it harder and harder to sleep and eat. In the last few months, I will only be able to sleep at most 4-5 hours in a day and eat only one meal, and maybe a snack during the day, with no lack of energy. However, in most cases upon awakening, I find it hard to breath, and have been violently ill. I have asked for assistance from my spirit guides, but it still happens frequently. Any suggestions?