I'm new here but am elated to have found all of you! Quick background on me; My first experiences began around 5 years old. I would get nudged awake at night and there were very vibrant almost fluorescent bouncing colorful "dots" bouncing around my room. But interacting with me. Really trying to engage me. I remember thinking that I must be seeing things because I was probably too tired. The colors were red (most dominate) green and blue. I would rub my eyes, roll over and try to go back to sleep. Then the lights would rush on to my bed. It felt much like a cat hopping up and then patting around my body like when cats pat down their bedding before they lay down. For a few months this happened almost nightly and I brushed it off. I wasn't afraid and I didn't tell anyone. Until one night they woke me up again. And I finally could see pictures or movies inside their formation. I screamed out crying (I now know I had the most intense panic attack of my life.) I knew my Aunt had died. They told me. I screamed and cried to my parents "I don't want to die. I don't want to die". They comforted me but were probably really confused. The next morning we found out my Aunt in fact had died in the night. Ever since I know when people are ill. I literally smell death on them. And it's not good. It's in fact the most guilty feeling you can imagine. I hate it. Since then I see spirits, I can read people, I can feel other's worries to the point of bringing me in to panic attacks. I've ran from all of this for a long time. Sometimes it feels good. When I can give a friend a message from a loved one to settle their heart. Sometimes I doubt myself and worry about where is this coming from am I just full of crap. Lol.
Sorry to ramble! On to point! Lol. For the last few years two things are happening when I sleep. Sometimes it's obvious. I'm in the corner of a ceiling watching someone I know in their house. When I should be sleeping. That's kind of funny to me. Still a bit confusing how I get there. But the second is disturbing me. I'm sleeping. Then I'm aware I'm sleeping but totally awake. I am looking and can see but I know my eyelids are closed! And I can see! But what makes this happen is a sudden heavy pressure that is a heavy weight that is humid and fuzzy that starts at my feet. Immediately my ears start ringing or buzzing. And the pressure quickly moves up my body and the ringing gets louder but also has this fuzzy thickness. I'm suddenly completely paralyzed. I feel like my energy is being sucked out of me. It's exhausting and so frightening. Sometimes that's all that happens and then it releases and goes away. BUT many times and more frequently in the last year. Once my body is enveloped by this heavy thick fuzz, suddenly I feel something pulling me up and out of my body or even scarier I feel myself being pulled by my feet down and off of my bed. I now say a prayer immediately in my mind and mention God's name (because I can't speak) and once I do that it almost immediately stops and I slam back on the bed. Am I being attacked or having a OBE and just so frightened by it that I assume it's not me and that I'm being attacked? I know this sounds crazy but it really happens to me at 3 or 4 times a week. And it's scaring me. As soon as it starts I get so frightened and I don't know why or what. Or if it's just me and I just don't understand.